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| Topic: Anger... | |
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Edited by
willing2
on
Sat 02/13/10 12:46 PM
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no anger everytime I get mad things get broken and the police show up so I NEVER get angry its too dangerous I do get irritated or aggravated but never angry R, I've always dreamed of being openly aggressive just once. But I guess that's not healthy either. 
Sure it is. But only in a controlled environment. If you have a room with high enough ceilings go buy yourself a heavy bag ( used by boxers for training ) and a pair of boxing gloves. Get angry and beat the ever living HELL out of that bag. It's GREAT for venting frustrations and a damn good workout too. or go to the bar and tell the bouncer he's a poozy She's so little, she could get away with it.!! 
You get pi$$ed, try to find someone who will allow you to vent with them. |
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If you have no expectations, you will never be disappointed -Dalai Lama All compounded phenomena (things and experiences) are inconstant, unsteady, and impermanent. Everything we can experience through our senses is made up of parts, and its existence is dependent on external conditions. Everything is in constant flux, and so conditions and the thing itself is constantly changing. Things are constantly coming into being, and ceasing to be. Nothing lasts. The important point here is that phenomena arise and cease according to (complex) conditions and not according to our whims and fancy. While we have limited ability to effect change to our possessions and surroundings, experience tells us that our feeble attempts are no guarantee that the results of our efforts will be to our liking. More often than not, the results fall short of our expectations. Whatever is impermanent is subject to change. Whatever is subject to change is subject to suffering. —The Buddha It sure helps me with wanting to choke out the MoFos 
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Anger destroys the vessel in which it is carried.
I may get mad, but have learned to let go of the anger. It's hard on my health and the person I was angry with could care less. It's like letting someone live in your mind rent free. And I sure as hell won't allow that to happen! 
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I had a friend who was dealing with his anger. It was the topic of our NA group, today. It ate at him and he kept using the serenity prayer. Someone said something about him and it wasn't true. He finally accepted that he really didn't have anything to be angry about. He vented until it finally left him.
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I rarely experience anger. I have learned to breath through those emotions, take a drive, meditate, go for a walk.. anything but experience any sort of rage.. It is terribly unhealthy physically, emotionally, mentally and spiritually. Usually is taken out on those we love the most..including ourselves. Was not always that way... |
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I rarely experience anger. I have learned to breath through those emotions, take a drive, meditate, go for a walk.. anything but experience any sort of rage.. It is terribly unhealthy physically, emotionally, mentally and spiritually. Usually is taken out on those we love the most..including ourselves. Was not always that way... I squash ants. |
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I rarely experience anger. I have learned to breath through those emotions, take a drive, meditate, go for a walk.. anything but experience any sort of rage.. It is terribly unhealthy physically, emotionally, mentally and spiritually. Usually is taken out on those we love the most..including ourselves. Was not always that way... I squash ants. murderer 
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Machete and trees, chainsaw and trees, hard physical work. Let it bleed out that way.
Bonfire, writing it down, and burn it up. |
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IMO anger is a natural emotion. I don't believe there are good or bad emotions...it's the actions you take from them that are good or bad. I just let myself be angry and think about how I want to deal with it
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I hang with my dog. He's a great mood changer. It's tough to stay upset when you have an 80 pound writhing ball of fur absolutely ecstatic at your mere presence. No matter what kind of mood I'm in, he can get me feeling better.
Of course, that's the immediate fix. The real fix is far more complicated, involves all this self psychoanalyzing crap, and is best done long after the dog treatment has worked it's magic. If all else fails, I crank deafeningly loud music and drown out the anger. Again, just a temporary fix but it disrupts the negative thought processes until I can deal with them later. Life's too short to be angry. I think the dog's got it right. Play, eat, sleep. Repeat daily.
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So I'm feeling introspective today and thought I'd share. Many of you know me here and know that I'm trying to work through the feelings that my divorce has caused. I've been going to a support group and it's really provided me alot of insight. The one emotion I haven't been able to really get a handle on is Anger. Not my anger about my failed relationship or the anger associated with the rejection but the anger I feel when my ex hurts my kids. So last night in my support group the topic was anger. I really believed I would never be able to control it and that it was just a fact of life. The question posed was why was I angry? Well, my answer was I am angry because he hurts the kids, because he doesn't put the kids needs ahead of his own, because he doesn't make good decisions, because he isn't responsible.. The facilitator looked at me and asked "Chrissy, if he did those things, would you be divorced now?" Well of course not I replied. So you couldn't make him be responsible, accountable, selfless while you were married but you expect him to do them now that you are divorced? Holy cow. Talk about a dose of reality. I've been thinking about that all night. Quite interesting really. So, how do you handle your Anger? I have a 100 pound punching bag that I hit and kick. Great way to deal with anger and a great workout. |
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I went through the same thing, Chrissy. I was so angry at my ex for so long. Like 2 years. All because of what he was doing to me and the children AFTER I left him. Then I realized the same thing you did...he wasn't behaving any differently then when I was married to him. It was his behavior that caused me to leave him....why did I expect him to behave any differently now that I was gone? So I decided to not get angry anymore. I expect him to behave badly. It just is what it is.
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I went through the same thing, Chrissy. I was so angry at my ex for so long. Like 2 years. All because of what he was doing to me and the children AFTER I left him. Then I realized the same thing you did...he wasn't behaving any differently then when I was married to him. It was his behavior that caused me to leave him....why did I expect him to behave any differently now that I was gone? So I decided to not get angry anymore. I expect him to behave badly. It just is what it is. Ruth, it seems so simple but isn't. I need to understand he isn't going to change and accept it. Easier said then done, I'm afraid. |
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I went through the same thing, Chrissy. I was so angry at my ex for so long. Like 2 years. All because of what he was doing to me and the children AFTER I left him. Then I realized the same thing you did...he wasn't behaving any differently then when I was married to him. It was his behavior that caused me to leave him....why did I expect him to behave any differently now that I was gone? So I decided to not get angry anymore. I expect him to behave badly. It just is what it is. Ruth, it seems so simple but isn't. I need to understand he isn't going to change and accept it. Easier said then done, I'm afraid. No, I didn't mean to make it sound easy or simple. It took me a long time. And, I do still get angry....it's just easier to deal with now that I'm not expecting him to be any different. It's a process and I'm really glad you are working your way through it. Many people never even try. |
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A person can't help to feel anger at times. The trick is to not let the emotion control your actions. Think through why you are feeling that way before you act.
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um listen up here. "he is hurting the children". repeated over and over. go get professional advice or as adults your children will be screwed up.
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um listen up here. "he is hurting the children". repeated over and over. go get professional advice or as adults your children will be screwed up.
Duffy, thank you for your input. I am working through this myself and am doing a pretty good job. My children have my love, support and understanding. I will never be able to control what their father does and they will form their own opinions of him. Thank you again. C |
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I feel so sad you are paining over this and your kids are being hurt. I hope you can find some sort of peace through all this.
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I feel so sad you are paining over this and your kids are being hurt. I hope you can find some sort of peace through all this. Oh I will and don't be sad. I only started this thread to demonstrate how you can see things a different way. It's all good really. 
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Edited by
TheShadow
on
Sun 02/14/10 11:30 AM
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How I handle my anger, I try to leave it at home before I go anywhere. Ill vent while i'm alone. It's ok to feel and vent that anger. just I try to do it at home so i'm not putting my anger on someone else. Then latter when i'm clam. Ill talk to a friend or family member to try to figure something out.
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