I have shown anger about five times in life as an adult.
And even then, it was fast to pass through and NOT ALL THAT!
I grew in and through CONSTANT RAGE AND ANGER,,,,so it settled long ago for me to feel a need to draw from it..

When I was first divorced, my ex granted me custody, now later as for her visitations, she LIED to me and to our BOYS as to making it there to see and take them for the day.

I would get them all handsome they'd be anxiously waiting for her visit,,,ALL DAY---------------I tried calling her, no answer?
Then some hour of that night she would call and give me he excuse for not making it,,always lame..

I would then have to tell them she wasn't coming, their depressed
minds and hearts was so unbarible as after her second time doing this to them,, they cried and it was as rough as it gets with being pisssed off and up-set at her for doing this yet again to them..
SO,,when we did talk on the phone with her excuse again,,I simply made it EVER clear to her that,
I will NEVER AGAIN tell them YOUR COMING,,,then, IF you do, YOU can WAIT for them to be ready,I will NEVER look intoour boys eyes with THAT PAIN IN THEIR,,,,solive with-it and thats it!
And That was her last time to ever have them KNOW she didn't come..

You can be FIRM, w/o having to show ANGER IN DOING IT.
I use that FIRM, as part of my feelings of hurt or anger as in my mind it is justified through my actions, to focuss that nerve in that direction...
I hope this might help you with your anger.
And the BIGGEST thing here to think and to remember is THEM KIDS,
FEEL,and KNOW YOUR MOODS ALWAYS,,even if you try and hide them,,IF YOUR MAD,,,,,They WILL LEARN TO CARRY "THAT MAD", as their way to focuss their frustrations out...
So,learn to STOP!,,Count to five THEN REACT...as that to is a way to not SHOW a bad you, to ones around you..
TALKING will ALWAYS out weigh ANY voiced yells or rages as to just simply draw-back,,and talk about the issues,,,as your children will
grow to do THAT same,,so it helps them to understand HOW to deal with matters of the heart, and life...

Iam4u...
i like ur anger management school lessons....
it is about those kids....
my x did same thing to our daughter.

we were waiting somewhere in bumfuc, egypt for him 2 showup. he called up and said it was snowing in Palm Springs, and he could not get out.

it never snows in PS....and if u r reading this now my x, make sure u explain why u never showed up several times for our daughter, who screamed and cried "he is coming, i know it"....more than once.

Oh duffy

I can't imagine.....

Now that would make me explode!!!!!!

um well yup. she is older now, and he is her cat's meow.

recently, he said 2 me "that we should be together." now mind u a few hundred years have passed between when we were young and now that we r old,... cough cough, and that hunka a burning love baseball player said and i quote what i said above....so i waited kinda sorta for a rose on the door, instead i found him on google, and he had married another 4 months previous. makes his 6th.

Miss Duffy,,,you are a sweety,,,,

And lies destroy love in one sentence which may have been a life-long process to build and be..

We all have told some lies,,we all still tell simple fibs,,like to a boss for when you know you punched the clock three minutes late,,but when asked by him,,,you say OH,,I thought I was right on,,or yes sorry but I got delayed,blaw,blaw,lol,and fib..
But to KNOWINGLY LIE TO YOUR LOVED ONES,,,that just WRONG!
And "THEY" know that!!! Yet still for their greed,,they do it..
My first EX was just NOT a mommy type nor a even close to being a good home-maker,,so I let her pay to have our home cleaned and for her to live at playing Bingo,,but when she started neglecting my babies,,,,HELL NO!!!! See YA!

well time is supposed to heal it all, but obviously with some of us(hint) it has not.
sorry for your hurt IM4U.....

That divorce was over twenty eight years ago,wink,and I am well over that time. But many still live to do THIS each day to their others and some do it on here....wink..
I am sorry for your pains as well Duffy....You seem like a very tough
lady at heart,,,and thats very cool to have...

righteous anger is the most dangerous anger

handled it..by accepting the world as it is..not as it should be...for the most part

roko

For me the best way to get past anger is by working in the yard or just getting wrapped up within a project. Actually yard work is the best way for me just to be all alone and work till I'm so tired and take time to think. I try very hard not to let it build up but to deal with things as they come along.

But one of the hardest things we must learn is we are only accountable for the things we do. We can not control the actions that others take no matter what we must learn that we have no control over them and not let their actions affect our lives as well.

It is not always easy but all we can do is the best that we can do and know that at least we tried to smooth over the hurt that others tend to throw our way.

My children still live with that pain...

You ARE a better person and always will be. You are a survivor with a touch of humility, humor and empathy all rolled into one. Your heartfelt words as well as your kicks in the butt are much appreciated. When all the healing is done and the lessons learned from this particular period in your life - you are going to set the world on fire. In the meantime remember "life" is still working on the one you are meant to be with. Once your paths cross at just the right time - well