granted..unfortunately, 60 million other people had the same numbers!

I wish I could meet Mr. Wonderful!

Granted, but unfortunately he's 4'11" 638lbs.


I wish paperclips were made out of platinum...

Granted...but you usually find them sporting precious stones and you can't afford them. You end up going back to staples or that handy folding/tearing a corner trick you learned in elementary school.

I wish banks processed checks written in purple ink.

Granted, but now that's the only color they process, and there is only one purple pen in the world located 10,000 leagues under the sea.


I wish I could find an original Picasso portrait in my attic...

granted but it's done in crayons when he was 2 yrs old.

I wish my room was bigger

Granted, but you have to clean it daily.

I wish I had 1,000 Slim Jims.

Granted. But you get heartburn after eating 5 of them.

I wish this upcoming move was all ready done.

granted, now you're all unpacked and settled and everything about the place annoys you.

I wish I had a fast car

Granted. But you have to sell it because of all of your speeding tickets.

I wish I could meet some of my favorite people here on mingle in person.

granted, you come to Utah but get distracted by all the mormons, lol, don't look them directly in the eyes, they can sense fear!

I wish I had a 4.0 GPA!!

Granted......You go on further in your education and get your Masters Degree and your PHD.

I wish I could see you walk when you get your degree.

granted, but due to my indecisiveness, by the time I graduate, you'll be 115.


I wish I could meet Maynard James Keenan!

Granted, but he's a real Tool, and has serious issues with drawing Perfect Circles.

I wish my nick name was Skeeterpeter...

granted, now everyone sings this everytime they see you-

There's a skeeter on my peter, flick it off
There's a skeeter on my peter, flick it off
There's a dozen on my cousin's
I can hear the bastards buzzin'
There's a skeeter on my peter, flick it off

Variant #2:

There's a skeeter on my peter, sweet Marie
There's another on my brother, can't you see
There's a dozen on my cousin
Can't you hear those bastards buzzin'
There's a skeeter on my peter, sweet Marie

Variant #3:

There's a skeeter on my peter, whack it off
There's another on my brother, whack it off
There's a dozen on my cousin's
I can hear the bastards buzzin'
There's a skeeter on my peter, whack it off

Variant #4:

There's a skeeter on my peter, knock it off
There's another on my brother, knock it off
There's a dozen on my cousin's
just to hear the bastards buzzin'
There's a skeeter on my peter, knock it off






I wish I could do a million things at once!

Whack it off???

I wish I had the 'midas touch' only instead of gold, I turned things into gorgeous horny woman

Oh chitt.

Granted but... gone is the skeeter and the peter

I wish there were someone for everyone here

Granted. But the mileage of distance sometimes gets in the way unfortunately.

I wish some of the ladies I consider good friends on here lived closer to me.