Ok..so maybe someone can explain this to me..I have seen MANY profiles on date sites that state that the person is "Separated and looking for a relationship"..I am having a problem understanding why a person can't finish off one relationship before seeking another?..I mean if you're separated it means you're married just not LIVING with that person right?..Why not get a divorce,be completely over and done with that person THEN move on?..I once ran into this guy whose explaination for not being physically with the woman anymore was "She don't want me"..Which of course got him a one way ticket to Jerksville,where he belongs..lol..Cause he was basically saying to me.."Well I want her and she don't want me right now,BUT if she ever does,you're out in the cold"..Um..huh?..Why do that to someone?..Ok,yeah..I'm done..lol

maybe they are seperated cause they rush things....example:already on a dating site looking for their next victim just think about it

You can still have that situation whether the person is separated or not; lots of people never get over the ex, yet they go around trying to hook up with others. Be glad you found out in time before you got your heart broken.

Well.... *clears throat*... I use to be one to say... no way.. look me up when the divorce is finalized.


However, I am talking with someone who is 'separated'... his ex-wife totally screwed him over. I told him my concerns with him being separated... he stated that he realizes that he still have to work through stuff with the divorce and her betrayal.

I personally think (now) that it is situational. As long as there are no kids involved and both parties (from the marriage) will not reconciliate... I think that someone maybe able to start a friendship and see where things go. I know that in some states you have to be separated for a certain period of time before filing for a divorce and that might come into play. The relationship might have been over for a long time before filing for divorce.

Also, there are others that are listed as 'separated' but really cheating... or just looking for get laid... but the laid part can occur no matter the marriage status.

i did a reading for a client earlyer and she dating this guy that is going through a divorce and has 2 kids he bought her a dang wall heater for xmas a tight wade he could had bought her a elctric blanket she paid more for his dang present. but in what i got it doensr even seem he wants the dang divorce and he has been leing to her from the start... i also got him cheating not only on his soon to be ex wife but with the current person hes seeing.. between me and another reader we both saw the relationship going no where. she expects him to take her out on new yrs. .i dont think so.. i can say this guy is beyond jurksville

You gotta' keep'em separated

Your either married or divorced...I've heard every excuse in the book about separation...most say they don't have the money for the divorce... I paid $300 for mine...finish what you started...then go play around...I will never get involved with someone that is still married or as they say...separated...unless shes really hot

Well, I will say, divorce is not an inexpensive or short process, depending upon the situation. If both parties have agreed the relationship is over , I dont see the issue (other than religious)with them moving on in their personal life.

In the end though, everyone has their own priorities and those who dont wish to get involved shouldnt.Just as it is significant to me if a potential mate had ever been intimate with a man,, I guess it is just as significant to others whether the end of a marriage has been legally documented or not.

From a guy who falls into that category, here's my perspective for what it's worth.

My wife walked out a few years ago after 16 years. She took the kids, BOUGHT a house and moved out. I take my daughter to school every morning, and have both kids every other weekend. There is no coming back as far as I am concerned. It was over long before she decided to leave. It's just a matter of time before it becomes official.

Women tend to be somewhat uncomfortable and perhaps a bit fearful with that scenario, but that does not worry me very much. I know the history, the truth, and I know me. I could just as well have stated that I am divorced and they would be none the wiser, would they? Once they call my job, home phone, Internet phone, cell phone, or whenever they visit my house they will see for themselves that I do in fact live alone.

And furthermore, it's not as if I'm looking to marry someone from one of these social sites. If and when that time comes, believe me I'll know what to do. I'll handle my business.

I agree with everything E said..cept that last part..lol

while my ex hubby and i were separated he was of course playing the field even before i kicked him out. he was with this one lady for awhile and they had a child and of course he cheated on her with his 2nd wife. i was waiting for him to get off his butt to file but his excuse was there was no place to file. well geeze there a place to get married there is a place to get a divorce he jusr didnt want to pay.. he lazy and always will be. while he was with his 2nd wife he had told her that we were already divorced and of course we wernt, they met several months before the divorce was final. he totally lied to her like he did me.. he told her i burned his clothes that was a real laugh, he told her he kicked me down the staires.. THAT NEVER HAPPEN!!!! he just a cronic lyer. there was one time wayyyy before we ever got married he had told his mom he went to the hospitol, he never did he saw a dang chiroprater that day.
im pretty sure he even cheated on his 2nd wife hes a player i know him,

See thats the kind of stuff that I'm talking about..a "separated" person can change their mind at any time and then YOU can even come out looking like a fool or the bad guy/girl..She's gonna get hurt and hes not gonna care cuz he was just using her and any other woman who will let him,to get his jollies..I should get readings done by you Queene..you're so cool!

Yeah, the bottom line for me is honesty. The flip side of this argument is what if someone is not married but has someone who believes they are in a commitment. Many people justify laying down with these types because 'they arent married'. ITs like saying if you arent married, you are single. Yes, legally, but it still doesnt mean you dont have a commitment. Likewise with divorce.

I think a commitment is a commitment regardless of the documents and that when its over its over,,regardless of the documents as well.

all i can type is there are different situations,but theres always that chance you may get caught up in it and wanna leave them anyway,not all separations are bitter but if you wanna play the odds go ahead

I was seperated from my first wife for about three years (or was it the second? I forget)

I just packed my shiit and moved out of town. But I was just as single as if i was divorced. Three years later when I moved back to town she filed

Separated is NOT divorced tho!..doesn't matter how long you go with out seeing each other I don't think..You're still married until you go sign papers stating otherwise.

It's like the jobs. Start going to interviews and get hired before you quit your current one.

Oh really? Is that how it works?

yep that exactly what i told her that he was using her

Except walking out on a job is a bit simpler than going to a courthouse, filing and paying for paperwork, going to court,,,etc,,,,

There is married and there is separated(married but available) the same as there is single(not married) and single but not available.