Someone referred to me as a "complicated man" in another thread not too long ago. The truth is, I've heard this a number of times before, and I'm not sure I understand the intent behind the words....

When I think of the term "complicated," it brings to mind something intricate, difficult to comprehend, multi-layered, intrinsically enigmatic. I might be a little biased here, but I don't see myself as being any of those things.

I'm just a guy who writes books -- everything else I do is pretty much just the normal stuff that lots of other people do.

Maybe it's just easier to write someone off as "complicated" rather than getting to know them....? I don't know, it just sounds like a reflexive knee-jerk excuse to me....on the order of "Oh, you're too nice" or "You're too good of a person for me."

It's hard to make an assessment of something you never take the time to learn anything about....

Better to be considered complicated than 'simple.'

many layers and textures make a person interesting...

Where did you get the idea that being complicated or a complex individual is a negative thing? To me it just means that there are many facets and layers to your personality. That in my book makes you unique, and an individual that takes time to know and understand at times. Personally, I would never wish to be the same as others or someone's mirror image. The differences make life interesting and the similarities make it easier to get long with my micro and macro environments.

I got called a nice guy the other day by a female friend That took me right out of play

My friend, we are all complicated...some a little more so than others. Certainly, we are complex! We know about as much about the human brain as we do outer space...so a lot more exploring to do. And yes, sometimes, some of us take "complicated" to an art form!

I've been called complicated by a close female friend. I ask her to explain, and she just laughed at me.....

I personally think I'm simple.....
Unique, but simple....

Lex-

The comments could come from not what you are doing in your spare time, but with your mind, the phrase of a sentence, the criteria of who you would like to meet. You know what you seek in a woman is a complicated matter in that there might be only one woman in a 2000 mile radius that could be a maybe.

If someone has a wide range of subjects and interests to discuss- that could be complicated to someone that's used to discussing family and the weather. Do you get my drift? Complicated is different to each individual.

I'm thinking complex sounds like a more giving term. Too me, any of the terms means you're an interesting individual.

I would rather have them think I am complicated...

Much better then if they think I am predictable.

"complicated man"

We can try a vague literary deconstruction mixed with a short, week-old cocktail of psychology.

This is indicative of a man who is conflicted and lacks a complete understanding of himself which may leave him with a sense of insecurity.

Maybe to some you are complicated due to the fact they have not taken that extra time to figure you out. One must take that extra step to find out what is truly behind that person and actually if they don't have that much time to spare then your lucky. For they never really wanted to find out and that could have been their way of saying they were too lazy to find out.....

Absolutely right.

But I guess what I'm wondering is when having something like an aptitude for words became synonymous with "complicated"?

To put it another way -- what I do is not complicated, what I want is not (to me, anyway!) complicated....

I sense a subtext to the term....the subtext being something along the lines of "You're a complicated man -- which I find alien and disturbing." Maybe I'm reading something into it beyond what they intend, but they never stick around long enough for me to test that theory.

hmmm...maybe you should stop hanging out with disturbed aliens...

They're the only ones who understand me....

Better to be complicated than stupid.

I have been told this as well! Guess what, I have an opinion on this! If you are a thinker " a person who questions and challenges the staus quoa" your labeled complicated! Most people are like sheep and follow the herd but as a thinker you stray from the pack, therefore labeled "complicated". I'm a "not so smart of a thinker" so it makes me even more complicated.... The bottom line is when you resist being placed in a preconceived mental notion of others they find you complicated and it's really not complicated, just well thought out! So fight the power and make them open their minds to the poetry of you!


Is that complicated?

Being a "Complicated Man" to some people may only mean that they, THEMSELVES, have a hard time understanding your specifics as far as finding a mate/partner is concerned.

The mere use of proper English and/or knowing EXACTLY what you are looking for in a woman without settling for less, is obviously "Scary" to most, and makes you seem "unapproachable"....and I'm guessing that it's because SOME individuals who join dating sites don't really know what they're looking for until they actually find it

But YOU DO!

LEX, you are admired by many for who you are..and would prefer you to stay that way

Well, that's pretty much how I see it, too -- the "problem" for many people is that they can't deal with someone who isn't quite suitable for any of their prerequisite niches....

I have issues with those who start from a standpoint of what they propose I'm "supposed" to be -- inasmuch as I tend to think I'm really only supposed to be me....

Not sure why anyone would call you complicated? While we've only shared few words on the forums, I would definitely not classify you as complicated. On the contrary easy to get along with, funny, educated, published, established... and easy on the eyes too

I hear that a lot, and it baffles me. My specifics are really pretty simple. I know they don't match up well with MOST people's, but that's only because I've been around long enough and been through enough truly horrid relationships to know what it is I want and don't want!



Yeah, that's another thing -- I hear the "unapproachable" and "intimidating" epithets a lot, and anyone who I've ever corresponded with on this site can tell you that it's NOT like that!

But people feel the need to make assumptions -- unwarranted assumptions, as it turns out, because they're not based on anything other than a rank misperception, but....

Maybe "complicated" is just another euphemism for "unapproachable" and "intimidating." Which is kind of sad....



Thank you!

I don't really think I could be any other way.