I've been hanging out with a guy for awhile now, hes really sweet, fun to talk to and funny, but only when I'm with him. When we're not together he doesnt have a lot to say, and we can go days without saying a word to eachother. Its really frustrating, and I dont know what to do about it. Should I tell him hes not giving me the attention I want or would that make him even more distant? I need help.

you need to talk to him about how you feel. He won't know unless you tell him. If he can't handle it then maybe he isn't the right one for you. But it, also depends on how long you have been dating

we're not even officially "dating" we hang out and have a good time together. been on a few dates but thats about it

Ok. Wait a second. I wanna make sure I have this right.

1) When you two go out or " hang out ", he's all cool and talks nice and all that good stuff.

2) When you aren't actually " hanging out " or out together somewhere, he doesn't say much.

I am assuming, from your post, that you like this dude.

Does he KNOW this??

Does he know that you are wanting more than you are getting at this point??

What a predic a ment!! Seriously.... U should air it all out let him know how u feel...it can only go two ways good or bad are u up for the true answer u recieve?

I do have feelings for him, and I guess I never told him I do but, I just wouldnt know how to tell him, because I dont know if he has feelings for me. I dont wanna be shot down.

that's kinda the same thing i experience with the girl i'm in love with. she'll go a whole week without so much as a response to my text messages then she'll show up and hang out with me for a few hours after she gets off from work and we'll talk and have a good time together, or so i think. i mean, i have a wonderful time when she would visit me, but then she'll leave again and i don't hear anything from her until maybe a week later again. i really, really like her too. i'm crazy in love with this girl, but i mentioned in another thread about how she's in jail right now waiting to catch her time in the state pen. so she'll be heading off to prison unless they give her time served for the time she did in the feds. i hope they do this, but i seriously doubt it. i just know the state of texas isn't much on handing out get out of jail free cards u kno.

so i dunno, but i tried my best to communicate my feelings to her. i dunno what it served except maybe to underscore how "whipped" she has me. i sort of think she exploits this now, she asks me for money. i can't say no to her and i don't think she was exactly faithful or exclusive with me.

my suggestion to you librababy, don't let him start thinking that he's got you whipped or that you're all twisted up over him. do you know what i mean? let him know that you wished he would pay a little more attention to you because you really enjoy his company, but don't let him start thinking he owns your heart. i'd hate for you to have to feel what i'm feeling. i've gotten so depressed about this whole mess i created with this girl i've lost like five more pounds on top of all the weight i had already lost. i'm under 160 now, i used to weigh 185 now i'm 158.

i wish you luck in your relationship with this guy. i hope he's worth it to you. i hope he treats you the way you deserve to be treated. don't let anyone treat you badly. if you let them, they will continue to do so and only hurt you in the end. i dunno if any of this helps you. if you like you can chat or message me for support or whatever. if i can help you in anyway i'd be glad to do it. ciao4now

Well...here's a hint.

You have everything to gain and nothing to lose by letting him know.

You may THINK you have a lot to lose, but you have much more to gain.

If you don't tell him how you feel, then you don't give him the opportunity to reciprocate. If he doesn't, then ask yourself, seriously, what have you lost?? A " hang out " buddy??

There comes a point where you are just going to have to take a chance.

If you don't do it now, then you are only going to continue to make yourself miserable by not getting what you really want.

Yeah, you're right. Its just really hard to tell him, when he really has nothing to say to me when we're not together. and i'd rather not have to look him in the eye and chance getting shot down in person

Well...here's a reality check.

Shot down happens.

It'll happen to you more than once. Unless, that is, you choose to do nothing and just sit back and settle for less than you really want.

Guess what. If you get shot down, you'll get over it.

I have been shot down HUNDREDS of times.

And yet, here I am.

I'm not saying I havnt been shot down. I know what it feels like, I'm still here too. But, I just feel like it would sting a little more with him for some reason

yeah, i think i know how ur feeling. if it feels like it would sting more with this guy it's cos ur in love with him. u really like him that's apparent. just don't let on too much to him is my advice. at least don't let him start thinking he could manipulate you or take advantage of your feelings for him. i dunno how to go about this, i just know you should be careful about letting him start to believe this about you. knaw'mean?

i really wish you lots of luck with this guy. i mean it seems like you really into him i just hope when you let him know how you feel he's ready to reciprocate those feelings. anywayses, take care and behave urself. remember you can chat or PM me anytime for whatever. i'll be ur friend if u like.

ciao4now

Hi there,I am 63 and when with my lady friend I am happy,funny etc but when not,I talk on mobile but I work still and during weekdays I am thinking of my job,but I definately unwind when weekends or days off,and we have fun,give him benefit of doubt my dear

Just be Honest with him really sometimes thats the best thing you can do. When you over think things sometimes it just makes it complicated. On the other hand he might actually like you n feels same way. Just put it out there, you dont have to say hey im gaga for you.

Just be like do you think we could be more than friends ?

and be silent n watch his reaction. n try n casually keep talkn make him comfortable, maintain that fun relationship, dont be all serious about it coz then he might just get scared off even if he likes you. try it. hope it helps.

The only way you are going to find out is if you tell him how you feel.

I'm not totally clear on what you mean by hanging out?Guess i'm asking are you sleeping together if so..whew, then you do have some problems.Truly you need to communicate, sounds like your both on 2 different pages.Best of luck getting answers you need.And if you don't get answer,hun then he's not worth having you.

We have not slept together. just some kissing.

Write him a letter or send him an email if you're afraid to tell him in person. As others have said, you won't know unless you ask. Most people aren't mind readers, you have to say things so they will know how you feel. He might think you're happy with the way things are, and he sees no reason to change. Best of luck to you.

Def let him know how you feel about him.

No way, your straightforward talk will make any good progress. That way you’ll be sort of needy. Being direct and immediately speaking out everything you think is men’s mentality. Be a woman. Find a way to be interesting for him. Touch his curiosity. Make him think about you. Lead him to admire you. How to do it? Find his “brain buttons.” Motivate and manipulate. Treat him as if he is a lion on a leash. If you cannot cope with him, he is not for you. If you are “a successful diplomat” in this situation, you’ve got the right guy.