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Topic: what would you have done?
daniel48706's photo
Sun 10/25/09 10:22 PM
Let me start by saying I am not gonna change my mind on what I did, and I will do it again lol. I am simply curious to others responses.

While at church this afternoon, I was talking to a friend of my family. She turned to my oldest son (9) when he came downstairs after being told to stay upstairs with another friend, and asked him why he disobeyed his father about staying upstairs. He looked her square in the eye, and told her "cause I wanted to so don't ask me again". Automatically I just reached up and cuffed him along the back of the head, not hard, but enough to catch his attention (I hit flys harder than I cuffed him lol), and told him to watch his mouth and manners, and to not ever let me catch him talking to an adult like that again. That was the end of it, he apologized t her on his own immediately afterwards, and kept a civil tongue in his mouth the rest of the time we were visiting, even interacting a bit himself.

What would you have done?

no photo
Sun 10/25/09 10:58 PM

Let me start by saying I am not gonna change my mind on what I did, and I will do it again lol. I am simply curious to others responses.

While at church this afternoon, I was talking to a friend of my family. She turned to my oldest son (9) when he came downstairs after being told to stay upstairs with another friend, and asked him why he disobeyed his father about staying upstairs. He looked her square in the eye, and told her "cause I wanted to so don't ask me again". Automatically I just reached up and cuffed him along the back of the head, not hard, but enough to catch his attention (I hit flys harder than I cuffed him lol), and told him to watch his mouth and manners, and to not ever let me catch him talking to an adult like that again. That was the end of it, he apologized t her on his own immediately afterwards, and kept a civil tongue in his mouth the rest of the time we were visiting, even interacting a bit himself.

What would you have done?



drinks

Ladylid2012's photo
Sun 10/25/09 11:00 PM
You smacked your kid in the head in church...laugh laugh

Thanks, I needed a good laugh whoa:

daniel48706's photo
Sun 10/25/09 11:03 PM
yes I did, and as I said I would not change the fact. If it had been me that did that at nine, I woulda lost teeth. As it is, I didn't even smack him as hard as I do when we are wrestling around on the floor.

msharmony's photo
Sun 10/25/09 11:12 PM
Edited by msharmony on Sun 10/25/09 11:12 PM

Let me start by saying I am not gonna change my mind on what I did, and I will do it again lol. I am simply curious to others responses.

While at church this afternoon, I was talking to a friend of my family. She turned to my oldest son (9) when he came downstairs after being told to stay upstairs with another friend, and asked him why he disobeyed his father about staying upstairs. He looked her square in the eye, and told her "cause I wanted to so don't ask me again". Automatically I just reached up and cuffed him along the back of the head, not hard, but enough to catch his attention (I hit flys harder than I cuffed him lol), and told him to watch his mouth and manners, and to not ever let me catch him talking to an adult like that again. That was the end of it, he apologized t her on his own immediately afterwards, and kept a civil tongue in his mouth the rest of the time we were visiting, even interacting a bit himself.

What would you have done?


Bravo,,,, straight from the Madea book of how not to raise a spoiled, mouthy, know it all, disrespectful child. That scene played in our church several times growing up and noone batted an eye. If you have a balance of positive reinforcement along with swift discipline,,, ur gonna have a fine boy:)


daniel48706's photo
Sun 10/25/09 11:24 PM
Edited by daniel48706 on Sun 10/25/09 11:25 PM


Let me start by saying I am not gonna change my mind on what I did, and I will do it again lol. I am simply curious to others responses.

While at church this afternoon, I was talking to a friend of my family. She turned to my oldest son (9) when he came downstairs after being told to stay upstairs with another friend, and asked him why he disobeyed his father about staying upstairs. He looked her square in the eye, and told her "cause I wanted to so don't ask me again". Automatically I just reached up and cuffed him along the back of the head, not hard, but enough to catch his attention (I hit flys harder than I cuffed him lol), and told him to watch his mouth and manners, and to not ever let me catch him talking to an adult like that again. That was the end of it, he apologized t her on his own immediately afterwards, and kept a civil tongue in his mouth the rest of the time we were visiting, even interacting a bit himself.

What would you have done?


Bravo,,,, straight from the Madea book of how not to raise a spoiled, mouthy, know it all, disrespectful child. That scene played in our church several times growing up and noone batted an eye. If you have a balance of positive reinforcement along with swift discipline,,, ur gonna have a fine boy:)




WHAT?! You mean I have to have positive reinforcement as well? Well I guess I could always fall back on the ole reliable board reinforced to his butt in a way positive to make him squeal :grin:

msharmony's photo
Sat 10/31/09 03:16 PM



Let me start by saying I am not gonna change my mind on what I did, and I will do it again lol. I am simply curious to others responses.

While at church this afternoon, I was talking to a friend of my family. She turned to my oldest son (9) when he came downstairs after being told to stay upstairs with another friend, and asked him why he disobeyed his father about staying upstairs. He looked her square in the eye, and told her "cause I wanted to so don't ask me again". Automatically I just reached up and cuffed him along the back of the head, not hard, but enough to catch his attention (I hit flys harder than I cuffed him lol), and told him to watch his mouth and manners, and to not ever let me catch him talking to an adult like that again. That was the end of it, he apologized t her on his own immediately afterwards, and kept a civil tongue in his mouth the rest of the time we were visiting, even interacting a bit himself.

What would you have done?


Bravo,,,, straight from the Madea book of how not to raise a spoiled, mouthy, know it all, disrespectful child. That scene played in our church several times growing up and noone batted an eye. If you have a balance of positive reinforcement along with swift discipline,,, ur gonna have a fine boy:)




WHAT?! You mean I have to have positive reinforcement as well? Well I guess I could always fall back on the ole reliable board reinforced to his butt in a way positive to make him squeal :grin:



lol, I hope ur joking,,,smh.

My parents gave us choices, there were rules and consequences. A handful of things were grounds for corporal punishment,,(things like disrespect, foul language, lying) but these were ALWAYS laid out in advance so that it was clear that by our choice in action we were choosing our consequence as well. Maybe it doesnt work for all kids ( I dont think anything does), but it worked great for us and for the ones we now raise ourselves. Never let anyone convince you that a soft whack on the noggin or some taps on the behind are equivalent to physical abuse. Children need discipline and boundaries perhaps as much as they need food. People are alot more free of criticism in the diets they choose to give their kids when the kids seem healthy than they are what forms of discipline they use when the kids seem well rounded. I dont understand it.

I wouldnt change a thing about how I was raised and my hats off to you for sticking to your guns...but dont forget to balance it with the positive stuff too...lol.

Katzenschnauzer's photo
Sat 10/31/09 03:19 PM
BRAVO!! You are the man, let there be no mistake. I wonder why your son thought he could say a thing like that to an adult especially in front of you. He's probably wondering the same thing right now. Good for you!

Gossipmpm's photo
Sat 10/31/09 03:34 PM
I agree

It wasn't abuse

I bet he will not do it again!!:heart:

no photo
Sat 10/31/09 03:38 PM
It's not like you beat the kids, a pop doesn't hurt and you were right in doing so. When my just new teen used to mouth off to me I popped her in the mouth, not hard but enough to let her know I didn't approve of that. Now at almost 18 guess what? She doesn't mouth off anymore. Some kids it takes a little more than talking too. My youngest, I could just look at her of my disapproval and she would cry. Depends on the kid. Thank you for not letting your son get away with that. I have seen so many kids run wild and mouth off and their parents do absolutely nothing. You know it's bad when an 8 yr old would say "mommy, I can't believe they're running round like that in a restaurant". whoa

TexasScoundrel's photo
Sat 10/31/09 03:41 PM
I don't disagree with what you did. However, I would have first told him to say he was sorry and to then get his little fanny back to where he is supposed to be. I only spanked my son for insubordination. But, it also depends on the age of the child in question.

daniel48706's photo
Sat 10/31/09 03:48 PM

I don't disagree with what you did. However, I would have first told him to say he was sorry and to then get his little fanny back to where he is supposed to be. I only spanked my son for insubordination. But, it also depends on the age of the child in question.


Well in this case, he mouthed off, I smacked AS I was telling him to apologize, and then I made him sit down on one of the pews that are in the fellowship hall where I could see hm, considering he had already disobeyed about staying where he was told to, I wasn't gonna trust him to go back upstairs and stay IN the church etc.

laughsandgiggles's photo
Sat 10/31/09 04:22 PM
I've never been one that believes in hitting a child in the head or the face- i probably would've picked a different body part buuuut- BRAVO!!! the reprimand and discipline were perfect!!!

I don't tolerate direspect from my child and call him out on it whenever he tries- and now I get compliments as to how polite and respectful he is to everyone

You did a great job- Kids are our future and need to be taught- Nice Job!!!

heartbrokenbaby's photo
Tue 11/03/09 11:09 AM
i agree with it my mom use to flick us if we got out of line in the back of the head and i agree with it it teaches a child to not be spoiled and im having a kid of my own in jan and will teach my kid not to be spoiled

meowzakat's photo
Tue 11/03/09 11:19 AM
I put the fear of Mom into my kid early on...and have never regreted it..she is 16 now and still no mouthing off...BRAVO..more people should do this..but they are scared of bein reported for child abuse. Were was that fear when my mom would bust our butts w/a wooden paddle she had from college?laugh

HuckleberryFinn's photo
Tue 11/03/09 11:51 AM
when a parent has to become physical with a child to get them to do something, or in this case to refrain from doing something then the lines of communication have gone haywire somewhere along the line. What your son did was total blatant disrespect, and definitely uncalled for, the fact that he even uttered those words out of his mouth is troubling in of itself. Would I have cuffed him, certainly not, what would I have done.....sat him down and explained to him how ill mannered he was, and told him my disappointment, while also telling him that the woman he disrespected may one day be in a position to give him a job or recommend him for one and would he deserve it due to his actions. Then I would have removed everything from his room and grounded him for a week. and if he played sports, he wouldn't for that week

daniel48706's photo
Tue 11/03/09 03:38 PM
lol, I know my fear was my mother handing me the phone and telling me she would dial the police or cps whomever I wanted to talk to, but I had to survive until they arrived lol.




I put the fear of Mom into my kid early on...and have never regreted it..she is 16 now and still no mouthing off...BRAVO..more people should do this..but they are scared of bein reported for child abuse. Were was that fear when my mom would bust our butts w/a wooden paddle she had from college?laugh

daniel48706's photo
Tue 11/03/09 03:42 PM
For some kids that approach works; however, SOME kids need a good smack once in a while (as do some adults lol. Hey NO!!! MsHArmony leave me alone!!!!!! lol). Also keep in mind my son is nine years old and already entering puberty, which I KNOW moist of his friends are not doing yet, if any. And with puberty you get the mouth. The key is to use whatever is effective with your child)ren) immediately and every time and they will stop fairly fast. To this day he stillg ets sullen with me, but he has yet to even think twice before opening his mouth and mouthing off to another adult.



when a parent has to become physical with a child to get them to do something, or in this case to refrain from doing something then the lines of communication have gone haywire somewhere along the line. What your son did was total blatant disrespect, and definitely uncalled for, the fact that he even uttered those words out of his mouth is troubling in of itself. Would I have cuffed him, certainly not, what would I have done.....sat him down and explained to him how ill mannered he was, and told him my disappointment, while also telling him that the woman he disrespected may one day be in a position to give him a job or recommend him for one and would he deserve it due to his actions. Then I would have removed everything from his room and grounded him for a week. and if he played sports, he wouldn't for that week

LewisW123's photo
Tue 11/03/09 08:12 PM
Hmm. That's a tough one. I don't think you want to make this a habit. However,I believe that there are times, with kids, you need a swift form of discipline, and this may have been one of them. You may want to talk about it with him, in a couple days, to make sure he knows why you reacted the way you did and explain to him that you don't want to be put in that position as a parent again. Just make sure he knows you love him and forgive him, but it is not to happen again. At 9 years old, he should be able to understand not to be blatently disrespectful to adults.


daniel48706's photo
Wed 11/04/09 04:36 AM
oh I talked to him about it as soon as we got home. Asked him why he got smacked, and whether r not he felt he had been wrong for what he did. I also made sure he knew I loved him, but that I would not tolerate behavior like that from him.

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