Good for you,,,theres your balance (wink)


For the non hitters,,Im just curious how many of you have kids?
When it comes to discipline, one size does not fit all. Some children only need a look, some can be 'explained' to death,,and some,,need a good whack:)

While I believe in seperateing the child from the situation a resounding spanking on the buttocks I absolutely disagree with any kind of cuff, slap, thump, flick, or hit to a child's head or face in public or private. By doing it publiclly maybe you will get support but if you will strike a child do you really feel anyone would want to challenge your behavior even if they saw it poor.

Children imitate adult behavior and if your child copys you the chances are he will not use a safe amount of force or will the child that strikes back.

Serious injury to the teeth, eyes, hearing, neck or brain is way to easy if the child moves or turns even slightly. Hitting a child in the head makes the brain bounce on two sides and can cause permanent personality and learning disabilities or break their neck..

It is also a good way to loose custody of your child and really screw him up by being in the system. Not to mention making him homeless while you sit in jail on assault charges and loose your job.

I agree,, disicpline vs abuse,, the age old debate. Hopefully people know the difference between dangerous injury causing force and quick discipline. I hope that not too many children are being left parentless because their parents choose to discipline them. Its best though that children are taken from the home if the parents choose to abuse them. There is a huge difference to me though.

It is quite amazing isn't it? How two kids, in the same household, raised together, can have such different personalities. One can be the straight-A type, never have to be told to do homework or study. And the other is disorganized, constantly getting into trouble at school.

Before I was a parent, I always said I would treat my kids equally. But I have learned, that is almost impossible, when they are so different in how they respond to rules. I have a much more "hands-off" style with my youngest, because she parents herself in so many ways.

Maybe where you are from that is the case, but where I am it is not the case. The police and CPS (overall) happen to be very reasonable and understand what is and is not abuse. Most of the workers do NOT try t or hrow their weight around, and when one does they WILL be fired and or disciplined severely for it.

Tog ive one example, onetime, my son decided to bare his arse at the bus stop in front of everyone, so I bent him over me kneww and paddles his happy little arse, while his pants were dwon, and then pulled them back up for him, thus embarassing the hell out of him big time. One lady called the cops for my doing so after she tried threatening me and i told her to either close her mouth and go away or I would call the cops on her. The cop who investigated along with his chief both investigated; went to the school first to check my son then came to my house. Asked me what happened, checked with the other two parents that had been present, came back to me and thanked me for providing the appropriate disipline a child needs to not become a thug in today's society. Specifically stated I obviously cared about my son enough to do what he needed done, and to not let anyone tell me otherwise.

So, maybe you live in a backwards neighborhood where it is illegal to discipline your child (like California, where you can note even legally scold your child without being prosecuted for verbal abuse).

For all parents who don't believe in spanking or smacking a child, I suggest you study, not what "experts" tell you, but what is really the truth. Go around and do a research project of your own, and find out how many of todays good citizens and model adults were spanked and smacked as children, and how many of our criminals and thugs were nto spanked or smacked, or even outright disciplined at all.

So very true...

You were wrong Daniel to hit him!!!!!!!!!
you were so wrong to hit him Daniel!!!!!!!!!!!!






because I'd have done the exact same thing

OK Fran you just officially confused me lol. Maybe it's the beer I just finished though :-)

I agree no child should get way with being disrespectful...and disobedient.
Smacks, slaps and such to the face and head are not only dangerous,also degrading and embarrassing in public...some may say so what..
there is something that happens when a child is degraded and and embarrassed in public. While I appreciate you keeping your kids in check...I think there are better ways. My sons are grown..I never hit them, they were then and are now respectful, polite and kind young men.
I am sure this is the un popular opinion, hitting is never a positive option..
We, society have just come to accept it..does not mean it is the best way.

I hate to break it too you it is not just liberal California that has a prohibition against striking a child in the head. You talk to any pediatrician, family practionier, licensed social worker, teacher, foster parent, licensed day care home, company commanders in the military, to name a few that doing so is assault no matter how mild the contact.

Corporal punishment is allowed but by definition it is on the buttocks, legs, back, and hands and can not leave marks. Depends where you live wheather corporal punishment is legal and in many situations that is even restricted.

Feeling that the state has somehow given you a pass on how you disciplene from the previous incident is a very dangerous path to follow. Those records still exist and by current standards and more liberal intrepretations of abuse you might get the surprise of your life.

For all parents who don't believe in spanking or smacking a child, I suggest you study, not what "experts" tell you, but what is really the truth. Go around and do a research project of your own, and find out how many of todays good citizens and model adults were spanked and smacked as children, and how many of our criminals and thugs were nto spanked or smacked, or even outright disciplined at all.

^absurd, I know a whole prison that is filled with inmates that were disciplined physically.....and I might add, have you ever did any case studies on those who are developmentally disabled, many of them had normal births and yet many of them now live in their own little world from the "little whacks"....say what you want, the physical approach can only have a negative effect somewhere down the line, but it's a great cop out for quality communication. The little whack you teach your child to respect may become a vicious beating from him to his child when it's his turn, course that is never considered, cuz you did your job right?

Hey, its about balance guys. The little whack is probably not going to do any harm(i had them and I am extremely passive and law abiding), but when you get into ABUSE, that is a different story. Or when all you give is little whacks and no hugs or reinforcement. People who think its all about hitting and those who think its all about talking to the kids are both unrealistic, in my opinion. There needs to be a balance of negative consequences for negative action and positive reinforcement of positive action.

My research is my own experience...I have 3 grown sons. I never hit any of them. One has been in trouble 2 have not. Ya'll want to smack your kids around go ahead..my heart goes out to them. I have great kids and they have never been hit, smacked, spanked...

Gee, I wonder how we turned into such a violent society...a kid gets hit at home, fights at school and then gets hit for hitting.

Seems rather silly to me..but hey what do I know..I just raised 3 sons alone.

There are successes and failures with both styles of parenting. Bottom line will always be the balance of positive and negative reinforcement. There are no guarantees and parents have to do what works for THEIR children. I think its hard for either side to understand the other but its a good place to start to respect a parents choice to do what works for their child. I never understand how telling a child to sit in a corner would work if you were trying to discipline them for not listening(why would they listen to you tell them to sit n a corner). I never understood trying to 'reason' with a child either,, but thats just me. I know parents who use those techniques for their children and it works for them. Occasional spankings and regular hugs and praise work for mine.

I think therefore I am...
Not I hit therefore I am
Kids are little people, think of a way to communicate with them.
Should our boss give us a little smack across the side of the head if we make a mistake at work, show up late, screw up....hell no, that would be considered assault..kids are hit because they are smaller and can do nothing about it..we would however have a law suit against our boss for a "light" smack across the head.

Well, we cant FIRE our kids. I think different consequences make the necessary statement. Adults dont want to lose their jobs, thats a consequence. Some children dont want to have things taken from them and others (like I was) dont care about things and just dont want their feelings (behinds) hurt. Kids dont lead the same lives as adults so the same corrective actions arent gonna happen. We cant cuff our children and lock them in a 6 x 6 room either. So what we do for adults was never meant to apply for children or vice versa. Heck, I would much rather have a smack on my behind from my boss than be without a job the next day....lol

It's a metaphor....the point being if grown ups hit each other it is a crime should one choose to press charges. Yet, grown ups hit kids...they can't press charges. Why is it illegal to hit others? Because it isn't a healthy way to live, yet we justify hitting our own children, and say it's because we love them and want to teach them...distorted and sickening thinking!

'


Yes, and if we lock children in rooms with bars because they break rules, its probably a crime as well. Adults hitting adults is a totally different thing than a parent spanking a child. I grew up very aware of what that difference is and I think most people when they really think about it know the difference as well.

Hitting is hitting...I will respectfully agree to disagree with you on this issue. We both feel very strongly about how we feel...I'll not change my feelings and thoughts on this issue, as I'm sure you'll not.
I do appreciate the civil banter...and respect your opinion.
Peace sista

same to you,,,good evening