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| Topic: Honestly? | |
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99.99% of my "extra curves" are in the belly and from my kids. Mostly I'm cool with it because, after all, five kids could totally mess up a woman's body WAY worse than a few extra pounds! I kinda won the lottery there. But today I was sitting there thinking... and realized that it's a major issue for me in that kind of situation, which sucks. So I thought, "why not ask about it? You've learned a lot from Mingle already. Why not this?" Thanks for these answers. Both genders. I mean that. It can help a lot to see things from the other side.  I can totally relate on the had some children body with curves. Most of the time I am fairly confident about the way I look but recently I had a man totally take my self confidence away..was my own fault that i let him. I work hard to look like I do (so so) and I know he was/is into stick thin women. I'm not stick thin and I won't let him make me feel bad again. You look great to me! Thank you! So do you, actually. I was thinking that. Nice hair!  Yeah, it only takes a little bit for a man to cut us down, doesn't it?  Glad to hear you're not letting him do that anymore! Snarky, I'm pretty skinny and I have the same concerns. I have been on dates where the men said, "I normally like a little meat on my women". I've been in a make out session or two where they grabbed by hip bones which made me uncomfortable. I think we all have body issues regardless of our size but beauty is really in the eye of the beholder. The look in one man's eyes can make you feel like the most beautiful woman. Good Luck. Woah... seriously? I... that actually amazes me! Man... that means were ALL screwed!  Or, ya know, I could look at it the good way and think we're all beautiful instead. Yeah, I think I'll do that.  Thank you for that POV. It's one I never heard before. I'm guessing it's rarely a concern with the man. Some arbitrary percentage of men won't care because they aren't looking long term anyhow.... it's just about right now. They just want to have a good time, and likely want you to have a good time too. They've already assessed your physical attributes and are ok with you for the situation. And the other percentage is likely really in to you and it's a step further in connecting to you. At this point they've long since dealt with any physical considerations. Unless it turns out you have a swastika tattooed on your belly. That can be a little unsettling. Hmm... ya know, as logical as that is, it never occured to me. Weird...  And you two and your swasticas. Didn't you know it's a PENTEGRAM that's the scariest? I mean, when your woman's a witch, who KNOWS what she can do to ya?  Hmm, I guess it depends on your perspective, to me a swastika is a lot scarier than a pentagram, but that's just me. It is to me, too. I'm Pagan. I was making a social commentary / funny. 
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OK, I'm going to come out and ask this, because it's something I personally battle with all the time. I'm thinking maybe some other women here would appreciate this, too. Scenereo from the female pov: You meet a guy when you're out with friends, and flirt and have fun. You're attracted to him, he's attracted to you. It's all good. But then (and this could be a day or weeks in the future after meeting, depending), you have your first "makeout session", for lack of a better term, and you freeze up. Why? Because you can't relax and enjoy it for fear that his roaming hands will grab a little *too* much and he'll be grossed out. You hid the fact that you weren't toned everywhere pretty well when you weren't touching each-other that much, but now? Now it's all you can think about, and it's ruining everything. So, that's the girl's POV. Guys, can you give a picture of the GUY'S pov in this scenereo? Again, I honestly want to know, and this may be a very good place to ask. Please be honest. Thank you for your answers. Id be more put off you couldn't relax and let things happen. Loosen up and don't worry bout it. He was already attracted enough to get to the point of making out and hunging out all those times before. Personally I like a woman with nice curves. So my opinion is biased and worthless.
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I think that any woman that has a belly or stretch marks due to having children should be proud of them not ashamed of them. If that's the cost of bringing beautiful children into the world...BRING IT ON!! If there is a man that can't understand that sometimes that happens when you have children...FORGET HIM!!!
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Edited by
tngxl65
on
Tue 07/21/09 06:31 PM
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I think that any woman that has a belly or stretch marks due to having children should be proud of them not ashamed of them. If that's the cost of bringing beautiful children into the world...BRING IT ON!! If there is a man that can't understand that sometimes that happens when you have children...FORGET HIM!!! But what if they bring ugly children in to the world? No excuse then, I guess. |
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I will admit, not every child is cute, but that's still no reason for any woman to feel bad about the body she has. Every woman is beautiful, no matter what her shape or size.
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I will admit, not every child is cute, but that's still no reason for any woman to feel bad about the body she has. Every woman is beautiful, no matter what her shape or size. Lol, was a joke. Besides, I have 3 ugly kids of my own. Damn their luck. Seriously, these types of things are inconsequential to most men, especially men who have children of their own. |
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I think that any woman that has a belly or stretch marks due to having children should be proud of them not ashamed of them. If that's the cost of bringing beautiful children into the world...BRING IT ON!! If there is a man that can't understand that sometimes that happens when you have children...FORGET HIM!!! But what if they bring ugly children in to the world? No excuse then, I guess. I thought about that earlier, but I didn't want to mention it,
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Lady, you might have imagined that you hid it all that well, but the guy wasn't astonished or intimidated. He knew. From the first time that there is interaction, we know...and if you're supersensitive about it, then we either poke and jab and make it a topic...or else we respect your vulnerability and wait for you to talk about it. The bulges are not the cause of embarrassment; the lifestyle that is ongoing and protecting/creating bulges is the cause of concern. And it isn't an issue. If you're right for each other, begin letting yourself think of years together, and working on every bit of life together...otherwise you're just imagining that a meaningful loving relationship will wreck upon discovering some cellulite, or a few wrinkles, or hairy areas. You've got the grit to talk about it with twenty zillion strangers, so what's the big deal with one guy you're thinking is stupid about it? I Still Like this answer, and the few others like this the Best. I had never really looked at it from this (guy) point of View... Yeah, the Clothing I choose to Wear doesn't Cling to my body - Showing off a Beautifully Tight mid-drift... I thought I was leaving Something to the Imagination... But I didn't really Imagine that the guy who wants to make out with me had already accepted whatever he was going to see under that shirt of mine... And the Damn Jeans that are in Style these days... what's with this Stretchy Material that huggs your Curves?!?! I've worn Men's 550 Levi's FOREVER because they Tuck where I want them to!! (I've got a Bit of Junk in the Trunk, and it's been a part of me as long as I can remember) When I try to look "Stylish" or more Lady-Like... I find that I'm fiddling with something, and out of my Comfort Zone. Snarky- I Too have had your Concerns... I think to myself... if I do not like what I see in the Mirror.... HOW can anyone Else be attracted to this body of mine?! Hell, Just this Morning I put a Post-It-Note on my Bathroom Mirror that Says "Lose 30 Pounds!!!" I Too, need to remember that there are men out there who like women shaped like us - and Friendship is more Dependent on our Personalities than it is on our Outward appearance. |
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I think that any woman that has a belly or stretch marks due to having children should be proud of them not ashamed of them. If that's the cost of bringing beautiful children into the world...BRING IT ON!! If there is a man that can't understand that sometimes that happens when you have children...FORGET HIM!!! my friend and i hit the gym hard in college and bulked up fast and we both ended up with some stretch marks on your shoulders and biceps. my gf at the time rubbed a mix of honey and aloe (straight from the plant) on them every night and they disappeared after a few weeks and never returned. 100% gone. my friend did nothing about his and still had them last time i saw him. as long as he's had them he may be stuck with them. |
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Edited by
JustAGuy2112
on
Wed 07/22/09 12:05 AM
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Yeah, it only takes a little bit for a man to cut us down, doesn't it? Trust me, Jessi....a few unkind words from a woman can tear a man down just as badly. |
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Snarky, honestly, the guy will not be expecting perfection...and actually, he might like what you have MORE than what you think is good
men are visual creatures, and we will picture what a woman that we are into will look like in a swimsuit and naked....I GUARANTEE that this guy would not be disappointed....the the female body is such a beautiful thing the most important thing for you is....CONFIDENCE...the sexiest thing that a woman can do to look more physically attractive is to actually believe that they are sexy and beautiful so, be that beautiful woman that you are |
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I Too have had your Concerns... I think to myself... if I do not like what I see in the Mirror.... HOW can anyone Else be attracted to this body of mine?! Hell, Just this Morning I put a Post-It-Note on my Bathroom Mirror that Says "Lose 30 Pounds!!!" I Too, need to remember that there are men out there who like women shaped like us - and Friendship is more Dependent on our Personalities than it is on our Outward appearance. That's EXACTLY how I feel when I look in the mirror after my shower. Every time. I think empathy helmets are in order. You know, kinda like those virtual reality helmets only they make you able to understand other people's feelings? Not read minds -- that would be creepy -- but at least GET how others feel about us, themselves, and each-other. That would make things WAY easier. Again, I'm a geek.  Yeah, it only takes a little bit for a man to cut us down, doesn't it? Trust me, Jessi....a few unkind words from a woman can tear a man down just as badly. I know. And to those b**ches, I say f**k them. They don't know anything about quality humanity. Obviously. You gotta BE quality to UNDERSTAND quality. On behalf of my gender, let me tell you guys... I'm sorry we can be such sn**ches. But not all of us are. I promise. I swear. OK, maybe once a month... but trust me, it's as annoying to us as it is to you. Maybe more so, cuz we can't escape it. ANYWAY, back on-topic... Snarky, honestly, the guy will not be expecting perfection...and actually, he might like what you have MORE than what you think is good men are visual creatures, and we will picture what a woman that we are into will look like in a swimsuit and naked....I GUARANTEE that this guy would not be disappointed....the the female body is such a beautiful thing the most important thing for you is....CONFIDENCE...the sexiest thing that a woman can do to look more physically attractive is to actually believe that they are sexy and beautiful so, be that beautiful woman that you are Nova, why the hell don't you post more in the regular forums? Your typing is eloquent, and your mind is obviously more than able. But here's the thing -- when a man pictures a woman he likes naked or in a bikini... HOW does he picture her? Lots of men in here have said that they already have a pretty good idea of their crush's body type pretty early, so here's the conundrum. Do they picture the body they KNOW is there and somehow still enjoy that image, or do they picture their crush's head on a supermodel body? And if the latter, you can't tell me there's no disapointment in the reality. God... I AM the female Billy... 
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Edited by
GCLIFE
on
Wed 07/22/09 09:23 AM
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I do not believe that most men, at that point, are looking for perfection. They are indeed visual creatures but only up to a point. Furthermore, alot of men, myself included, become aroused by the moment...by the emotions carrying the moment. The most harm would get done if one's own self consciousness gets in the way of a potentially great experience.
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But here's the thing -- when a man pictures a woman he likes naked or in a bikini... HOW does he picture her? Lots of men in here have said that they already have a pretty good idea of their crush's body type pretty early, so here's the conundrum. Do they picture the body they KNOW is there and somehow still enjoy that image, or do they picture their crush's head on a supermodel body? And if the latter, you can't tell me there's no disapointment in the reality. God... I AM the female Billy... I think it's a little more base. Not that I've not imagined a woman naked. But in this case I'd be imagining just being with the woman naked.... less focus on the actual 'naked' and more focus on the activity and anticipation. |
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Edited by
Slyther83
on
Wed 07/22/09 09:25 AM
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everyone doesnt have to be a supermodel to look good. its more of a turn off (IMO) when women act outwardly insecure about themselves.
that includes turning the lights off during sex or leaving half your clothes on during sex. dont do that. ever. ...and look at you lettin dudes cop feels at your first makeout session you hussie! |
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Hey Snarky.....
You have pulled the great men into this thread!! Hope your cruising....  |
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I do not believe that most men, at that point, are looking for perfection. They are indeed visual creatures but only up to a point. Furthermore, alot of men, myself included, become aroused by the moment...by the emotions carrying the moment. The most harm would get done if one's own self consciousness gets in the way of a potentially great experience. I think it's a little more base. Not that I've not imagined a woman naked. But in this case I'd be imagining just being with the woman naked.... less focus on the actual 'naked' and more focus on the activity and anticipation. Same answer, different ways of putting it. This has been such a universal answer that it HAS to be taken into consideration. Not just by myself, but by other women too. I don't know about others, but I can honestly say I never considered it before this thread. Oh, and GC? *Kicks you in the butt*. everyone doesnt have to be a supermodel to look good. its more of a turn off (IMO) when women act outwardly insecure about themselves. that includes turning the lights off during sex or leaving half your clothes on during sex. dont do that. ever. Guilty. Of course, you're not surprised, are ya? So... let me get this straght. Guys would rather SEE your imperfect body and see you believing that you are still sexy hot and acting like it, than not see her body and... Ya know... I just really THOUGHT about that... Woah. Mind blower. Seriously... OK, OK... but what about lengere? What then? Huh? HUH? ...and look at you lettin dudes cop feels at your first makeout session you hussie! Actually, I was thinking more of grabbing a hip and getting dunlap (or, as others call it, love handles / spare tire), than anything. And hey, I'm not the one who's not even showing a FACE in my avatar, Mister!  Hey Snarky..... You have pulled the great men into this thread!! Hope your cruising.... I'm a'learnin!
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Edited by
Slyther83
on
Wed 07/22/09 09:39 AM
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dude i get 10x more emails with this as my primary dont hate
(insert random 10 x zero is still zero joke here) haha |
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I know. That's the same reason I replaced my silly pic from last night with this one again.
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Snarky, honestly, the guy will not be expecting perfection...and actually, he might like what you have MORE than what you think is good men are visual creatures, and we will picture what a woman that we are into will look like in a swimsuit and naked....I GUARANTEE that this guy would not be disappointed....the the female body is such a beautiful thing the most important thing for you is....CONFIDENCE...the sexiest thing that a woman can do to look more physically attractive is to actually believe that they are sexy and beautiful so, be that beautiful woman that you are Nova, why the hell don't you post more in the regular forums? Your typing is eloquent, and your mind is obviously more than able. But here's the thing -- when a man pictures a woman he likes naked or in a bikini... HOW does he picture her? Lots of men in here have said that they already have a pretty good idea of their crush's body type pretty early, so here's the conundrum. Do they picture the body they KNOW is there and somehow still enjoy that image, or do they picture their crush's head on a supermodel body? And if the latter, you can't tell me there's no disapointment in the reality. God... I AM the female Billy... i DO post alot in the "regular" forums lol...you'll see me around and thank you for the compliments i cannot speak for other guys when i say that i don't expect a "supermodel" type body...and trust me, if i am into you and am physically attracted to you with your clothes on, then OBVIOUSLY i have seen something that i like....do you think he is physically perfect? does HE have a six-pack? as to the lingerie question, guys go WILD when their woman wears lingerie (from my experiences and conversations)....BUT i would wait until farther into the relationship (if you WANT a relationship at all)...wearing lingerie just sends the message of "i am confident, i am sexy, and I KNOW IT!!" |
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