Guys aren't that complicated. I would just be happy to be there.

Damn. Sorry to hear that.

Best friend didn't die, just found out she was a selfish biotch. But my ill friend, well, thanks for both. It smarts.

99.99% of my "extra curves" are in the belly and from my kids. Mostly I'm cool with it because, after all, five kids could totally mess up a woman's body WAY worse than a few extra pounds! I kinda won the lottery there.

But today I was sitting there thinking... and realized that it's a major issue for me in that kind of situation, which sucks. So I thought, "why not ask about it? You've learned a lot from Mingle already. Why not this?"

Thanks for these answers. Both genders. I mean that. It can help a lot to see things from the other side.

dont know about most men but i prefer a woman be soft and feminine . dont want someone who is build like a man .

Ya know....I think finding out something like that would be almost as bad as having them die.

Still sending my best for the other friend.

Oh lilith. I've been there! I had two best friends from WAY back (like, 6th grade). We were the Muskateers for YEARS. Suddenly one day one of them stops talking to me alltogether. The other one is still a great friend, but she tells me that the first one has decided she's "had enough Jessi".

People can be *******.

The last woman I went out with has four kids. She was ' in shape ' everywhere except her belly.

Did I care?? Not at all.

Like I said. If it winds up being an issue for that guy, then he's not much of a man anyway.

We all have imperfections... if we were all drop dead gorgeous, rock hard bodies we would be in Hollywood posing for the cameras not on mingle..
don't be so hard on yourself.

In my humble opinion, if we have gotten to the point of a makeout session, it is way to late for being grossed out. If I have reached the point of "making out" with a woman, there is nothing that can gross me out. I have already made the connection with the person and the specific "hidden areas" have really already been figured out anyway.

The hiding the untoned areas might work on the initial meeting but I pay attention to my dates well enought that I know pretty much what their body looks like, even never seeing them without clothes. I have never been shocked, or grossed out by a person when I was into a makeout session. I hope this helps, and what would you be trying to hide, I think you look beautiful!

Thank you, both of you.... it has been very hard. I tried to tell her that I was hurt and her response was what really ended the friendship. She wasn't so bad at my father's, but at my sister's she was horrid. She even was mean to my son.

I appreciate your kind words and empathy.

My thoughts are with my ill friend though.... she better stay strong.

Doesn't matter from what position you look at it when you have interest and some feeling for a person that first intimate time you always have thoughts in your mind of "what if" to some it nay be what he'll grab or what she'll grab but we all do to a certain point it is human nature.

Guess you wern't ready for the 'makeout session'... Course when you freeze up he's going to think he's got bad breath or something.

Cause if hes 'grabbing' then he must like what you got. Yall overthink? perhaps?

I think that by the time you get to that make out session point, the guy isn't going to be worrying about you being toned enough.

Girl! Don't over-analyze this stuff! Coming from a "fat" girl.....if I get to the point where I am in that kind of a situation with a man, then I'm probably pretty sure he likes me for me and who cares about the imperfections? Let yourself go!!! Took me a longgggggg time to get to that point and I still waffle from time to time, but usually that means I'm not all that sure I really want to be in that situation with that person.

I'm thinking I am overthinking. It's always been a weakness of mine -- thinking too much. But I'm learning.

Thank you for these PsOV... I REALLY appreciate ALL of them!

Well, I just went through that like 2 seconds ago, only in email.


He has seen my current pics, but all mine are head shots, we spoke once, and hes really into me, he says he wants to definitely take me out this weekend..

It happened in a really AWKWARD sort of way..


When he and I met I was in convo with a photographer I worked with for a nude photo shoot I did 15 years ago, to benefit aids charities, so somehow he got on the subject, he said, "oh Id love to see those"..

So i was like.. ok..

then today he asked again, so I sent him one of the pics, and he loved it, he asked why my hair was a different color in the nude pics, and asked for another one, so I said:


----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: Susan
Date: Jul 21, 2009 7:55 PM

I cant send anymore right now, maybe later.. Anyway, these pics are old, like 15 years old. Told you I dont look like this anymore. I am only showing them because I enjoy them, and it happens to be currently in gallery. Im not bragging on them.

Anyway, Im not even thin like that anymore, I am kinda chunky, a little thick, I have no clue how you like your woman, Im working on myself now.

But I think they are beautiful.


My pics on my profile are current though.

Actually, if you want to cam tonight, just let me know.

(awkward) *awkward*

____________________________________________________________-

his response was this:

I like alittle thick but I really doesent matter cuz I like your personality and u look very good any way u r


Isnt he awesome? Anyway.. I was totally freaked, and scared, and the truth of the matter is, I doubt anyone is gonna be such a jerk that they are gonna be wierd about it.. But always, unless I get a chance to say.. "ok Im not a skinny girl," or whatever, my fat little tummy gets all tied up in knots.

If they dont know what I look like totally before, I let them know..

maybe there should be a mission briefing before you get into it. you can both use diagrams and stuff to point out trouble spots so that nobody will come upon one suddenly and say "woah!"

i used to date a chick who was in great shape and had a really defined six-pack. then we were in separate cities for a few months and she came back with more of a 4-pack. still good but she'd eaten a few pizzas. not the end of the world.