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| Topic: Sex (please do not move this to the sex and intimacy section | |
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Edited by
FearandLoathing
on
Wed 07/15/09 07:52 PM
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As this has really nothing to do with sex and/or intimacy. Moreso a personal view.
Anyway, I've always found myself as sort of a forsaken man. Not because I don't have sex or cannot have sex but moreso because I really don't want to have sex, I've never really seen the point in it aside from procreating and since I don't think I'll be doing any of that any time soon...it is pointless in my opinion. The reason I find myself feeling like an outcast is because this opinion of mine on sex is not exactly shared by a majority (this goes both for men and women), now don't get me wrong...it is not like I exactly thrive off being apart of the "in" crowd but that isn't really the point. What I'm trying to figure out is why is sex deemed to be so important? What is it about sex that is so desireable? I don't want to see someone type 'with the right person it is perfect' as this isn't directed at this "right person", this is a personal observation on casual sex not sex with your significant other. I'm really trying to figure out why there is dozens upon dozens of people searching for someone to be sexual with or someone they have to see sexually appealing in order to date them, and yet only a handful of us really don't care and are just searching for someone we can connect with on a legitimate level. I've been dating people for all about the last 3 years, in those 3 years I've dated probably roughly a dozen different women. I had sex with one of them, and the other 11...well to shorten the story to a sentence, either I or something beyond my control screwed the relationships up. A few of them I actually really enjoyed being with, for the most of them though I could really care less. Now when I say 'I'm not looking for sex' of course I get that BS face or some feeble attempt at a smartass comment of how 'I just can't be serious!', now of course I have friends that just make fun of me...but that's okay cause I give them just as much back when we are drinking and they have to 'watch' how much they drink because their girlfriend is watching. But really? Is sex that damned important? Unless you are planning on having children it really is all about useless, isn't it? |
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Edited by
agrant333
on
Wed 07/15/09 08:03 PM
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As this has really nothing to do with sex and/or intimacy. Moreso a personal view. Anyway, I've always found myself as sort of a forsaken man. Not because I don't have sex or cannot have sex but moreso because I really don't want to have sex, I've never really seen the point in it aside from procreating and since I don't think I'll be doing any of that any time soon...it is pointless in my opinion. The reason I find myself feeling like an outcast is because this opinion of mine on sex is not exactly shared by a majority (this goes both for men and women), now don't get me wrong...it is not like I exactly thrive off being apart of the "in" crowd but that isn't really the point. What I'm trying to figure out is why is sex deemed to be so important? What is it about sex that is so desireable? I don't want to see someone type 'with the right person it is perfect' as this isn't directed at this "right person", this is a personal observation on casual sex not sex with your significant other. I'm really trying to figure out why there is dozens upon dozens of people searching for someone to be sexual with or someone they have to see sexually appealing in order to date them, and yet only a handful of us really don't care and are just searching for someone we can connect with on a legitimate level. I've been dating people for all about the last 3 years, in those 3 years I've dated probably roughly a dozen different women. I had sex with one of them, and the other 11...well to shorten the story to a sentence, either I or something beyond my control screwed the relationships up. A few of them I actually really enjoyed being with, for the most of them though I could really care less. Now when I say 'I'm not looking for sex' of course I get that BS face or some feeble attempt at a smartass comment of how 'I just can't be serious!', now of course I have friends that just make fun of me...but that's okay cause I give them just as much back when we are drinking and they have to 'watch' how much they drink because their girlfriend is watching. But really? Is sex that damned important? Unless you are planning on having children it really is all about useless, isn't it? Honest.damn sex is not that important,but some men think it is,so now they take pills to get it up! I would rather have a man i could communiacate with,an have fun enjoying life. But for some odd reason?which i'm puzzled about... They think it's all about Sex? Typo oops... my bad It's that i have encountered this lately...Younger vs. older Rather have a older man,someone i can have a normal conversation with!!! |
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Sex is not all about the physical. It's also about intimacy and closeness in a relationship.
I found this: The failure to establish and maintain intimacy in a relationship will ultimately lead to coldness and indifference, that will eventually destroy the connection between you and your partner. In a relationship it is absolutely crucial to have intimacy, it is one of the key elements for the passion that will keep the relationship alive for a very long time. |
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Edited by
krupa
on
Wed 07/15/09 08:01 PM
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Dude...your first breath said enough that I don't need to read the rest of what you wrote...
"Anyway, I've always found myself as sort of a forsaken man" That is a personal choice...If you chose to accept that mentality...then no one can change that...(trust me, I know) Ohhhhhhhh...just skipped to the last of what you wrote to see what you were actually getting at.... "But really? Is sex that damned important? Unless you are planning on having children it really is all about useless, isn't it?" Only if you ain't any good at it..... If you you are good at sex...you will realize that it is not actually important...but it is a hell of a lot more fun than hanging out solo or with a friend. |
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I think that in a committed relationship where love does live and thrive, sex is a non-verbal means to communicate love. I think that makes it very important.
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It probably isn't that important to many people. Think about older couple married 50+ yrs that are Probably not doing it any more. Yet they are still there. There might have been times in a lot of our lives that for one reason or another we weren't interested in sex for a time. Seems you are speaking of more often than not. I would say not to worry too much about it. It might pass. It might not.
But in answer to your last part, yes I think it's extremely important in a relationship. The closeness and bonding that occurs in a loving relationship is priceless. I don't think it is any More important than communication, things in common etc, but very important none the less. |
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Sex isn't everything but the taste of honey is sweet!
Hell, bears endure being stung to get at it. Now there is sex, yeah, ho hum, lets get this over with... And there is OH HELL YES! DAMN IT HELL YEAH! WHERE THE HELL ARE MY COWBOY BOOTS sex... Then there are people who just are not that into the physical aspect of relationships. Damn it if I don't like smackn' some a@@ now and then! 
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Sex is not all about the physical. It's also about intimacy and closeness in a relationship. I found this: The failure to establish and maintain intimacy in a relationship will ultimately lead to coldness and indifference, that will eventually destroy the connection between you and your partner. In a relationship it is absolutely crucial to have intimacy, it is one of the key elements for the passion that will keep the relationship alive for a very long time. Touché  
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fear, i think that communication is way more important than sex, when you are older and the sex is not so important, you want to have someone who can keep your attention with good conversation. i also think that for a man of your age it is soooooooo not normal for you not to be consumed with the thought but i can see that you are sooooo much more than a man with just a quicky on the brain!
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Yes, it really is that important and if you expect to make babies someday, you should practice.... a lot.
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um, it's extremely important to me, when in a relationship.
there's no closer time, no more intimate moment... i have no interest in having more children; that's what my grandbabies are for. however, when things are right...i expect to get it once a day, at the very least. seriously, a man is sooo much more open to anything you have to say if he's satisfied, and so is a woman. it's absolutely critical for a couple (in my mind) to really connect on that level. otherwise, why bother with a relationship? why not just stay friends? |
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Sex is not all about the physical. It's also about intimacy and closeness in a relationship. I found this: The failure to establish and maintain intimacy in a relationship will ultimately lead to coldness and indifference, that will eventually destroy the connection between you and your partner. In a relationship it is absolutely crucial to have intimacy, it is one of the key elements for the passion that will keep the relationship alive for a very long time. Intimacy is just not limited to sex, maybe this is why so many relationships fail without sex...because they view intimacy as being only sex and nothing else. Sex with someone you love and casual sex, that is the difference I'm talking about. With someone you love of course you will indeed eventually have sex with them, however in a casual setting I've found it to be completly and utterly useless. |
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Dude...your first breath said enough that I don't need to read the rest of what you wrote... "Anyway, I've always found myself as sort of a forsaken man" That is a personal choice...If you chose to accept that mentality...then no one can change that...(trust me, I know) Ohhhhhhhh...just skipped to the last of what you wrote to see what you were actually getting at.... "But really? Is sex that damned important? Unless you are planning on having children it really is all about useless, isn't it?" Only if you ain't any good at it..... If you you are good at sex...you will realize that it is not actually important...but it is a hell of a lot more fun than hanging out solo or with a friend.  |
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I don't want to see someone type 'with the right person it is perfect' as this isn't directed at this "right person", this is a personal observation on casual sex not sex with your significant other. Please do not just read the first and last part of the paragraph, you miss important notes in the middle. Thank you for your continued cooperation. |
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You need to make it pleasurable for the other person
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You need to make it pleasurable for the other person Which equals to all about useless in casual sex, it really doesn't matter in the long-run and you will be lucky if you ever hear from each other again. |
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Oddly, with that attitude, and just living your own life, youll get laid alot faster.
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How important it is seems to be entirely dependent on the people involved, I think. People communicate using various methods, and show their attraction to each other in different ways. Some prefer to express their feelings in words, or in deeds, or with sex.
I personally feel that the ideal relationship has a balanced blend of all, but that's just how I feel. I know others who place very little importance on sex, and yet others who place too much emphasis on it. |
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Oddly, with that attitude, and just living your own life, youll get laid alot faster. Yea, I've noticed but never pursued. I get numbers a lot when I'm at the bar for whatever reason, personally I think I look scary and actively attempt to look scary so people will leave me alone...maybe I should just shave my head and look like everyone else... |
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Honestly Fear, you are the male gender and SO young ... these are the givens here.
I know you to be QUITE a deep thinker as well. So??? This could be your inherent make up. But it does also beg the 2 questions ... 1. Are you uncomfortable with intimacy/affection on the whole? 2. Are there any daily medications you intake that are known to diminish or disturb sex drive? Could be you are just extremely careful, thoughtful and selective. All things in season??? ...
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