Mark, I don't normally do the political stuff, but when they set you up like that, well, what else can you do?

"i like older men with slicked back hair."

How can you tell if their back hair has been slicked or not?

"im a simple woman i have two kids its a girl im open mine died honest understangding sweet carring if you have any prublim dont be shine to tiil me i will litesning."

I'll get back to you on that.....

wow..it took me like 4 minutes just to translate that,lol.
and umm,i have two kids,its a girl...err lol,whaaat.
are they conjunctional twins or something??

the scary part is,these are all real profiles,yes?

Yup, all of these are real profiles from another site....

Centuries ago, Aaronzdad made a post using some lines I had cobbled together as examples of profile cliches, and he made the original One Glorious Profile post.

Well, I had been compiling bad profiles for awhile and felt the only reasonable thing to do was to share my collection with the rest of the site here....! And as long as there are other sites up and running, I will never run out of material, apparently.

And that's the story of Christmas. No, wait....

We appreciate your work, Lex, we really do.

It's hard, too, 18 hour days in the coal mines looking for otters....and they're never even there, ya know? Well, almost never.

"Are we not all unique, especially people who have retired to France."

Has more than one person retired to France? There's your answer. Thanks for playing.

"I like travels,decorating,and cookaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaatI"

Stove is hot, huh?

"I'm 5ft 5inches, about 118lbs, personable, loyal, dependable, and determined."


Chatty girl, aren't you? By the way which is it, your physical appearance says 5'6" and you just said 5'5" in your profile? Are you heightening?

One of the things I see constantly on the site these are derived from, is age discrepancies. The header info will say "Age:43" but she will claim to be 37 in the profile. Maybe it's just a really old profile, but....

Or they will write something like "I'm not really 36, I'm 32, but it won't let me change it." Would it have been that hard to get it right in the first place?

One of my favorites, and I'm assuming this was a typo, was a woman who explained: "I'm not 92, I'm 192." I wrote something about hoping she didn't mind younger men....

"Sometimes U have to go halfway around the world to come full the circle!"

Your geometry is a little off. And you might want to try a smaller circle.

"Im looking somebody some are very sincere and caring with some other people.Some body are like to talk and sing because i lke to sing a song."

On my planet, we finish one sentence before we start a new one.

"iam cuart."

Hi, Cuart. Don't you hate the metric system?

"im a 26year old girl with a big romantic hart."

Most of us just have a dog or a cat.

"i hope i can be in touch with the other people and i like to meet the other people and be in touch with the other people."

I was hoping you could be a little more vague....

But I have 2 cats and a turtle.


What does that make me ???

But is it a big romantic turtle?

And how do you know?

"Im honest,quite,sensenetive."

Feb. 3rd is "Make Up Your Own Spelling Day."

"I am about 168."

Records from that far back can be a bit sketchy.