" TREASON, I tell you!" Col Mustard thundered. All because we didn't have enough private d!ck to go around, he continued...

Meanwhile Muffy the Umpire Layer, made it to the island upon the back of Dolph the Russian Dolphin. Attempting to aquire some of the very potent Lay Potion #9...

Two of the feisty furies gathered in their secret layer plotting their next move. Broomhilda cackles at Caroldeedee's hideous new conspiracy to undermine Col Mustard's Regime.

Muffy pulled herself to the shore sputtering and gasping. Shortly she made her way to Xephons castle...
Why are you dripping on my floor thundered Xephon! And what is that fishy smell????
I had to ride Dolph the Russian Dolphin part of the way...then some sharks started chasing us and he gave me over to Moby Dick the humpbacked whale...throwing her hands into the air and rolling her eyes....Wellll! YOU CAN IMAGINE how the rest of the trip was!!
Is that my lay potion #9?? You wouldn't have some vinegar water in those little squirt bottles, would you???
I have to get to Ahab the Arab, sheik of the burning sands and that mangey camel, Clyde. I need Fatima of the seven veils to help me out with those pesky umpires!!! Always wanting me to bat those little balls around, and it's not even ball season!!! A woman can handle only so much, you know.

finally, a woman who can admit her limitations... Maybe she is the right one for THAT job Herman had talked about thought Clive. I know she's handy with plastiques, but I wonder if she can...

Meanwhile Lady Betts Broomhilda Found a secret passage to the bedroom of Clive, When she carefully pushed on the secret knob , she was aghast at the site of her lover Clive snuggling and making cozy with the enemy Sir John Smith. It was obvious that the three ladies , ,that awful Muffy and the sinister Caroldee and herself LadyBetts had all been fooled and succomed to the charms of Clive.
In her revenge Lady Betts order her slaves to remove the head of clive and his lover Sir john!

Muffy to the rescue....! Elvira the chamber maid of Clive...overheard Broomheilda calling the guards and contacted Muffy who (just happens to on good terms with the Captain of the guards) called in a favor and the guards were sent into the desert looking for Ahab's camel Clyde...Clive and Sir John were able to escape unharmed.

Elvira, wearing the shimmering white evening gown that she borrowed from her step-sister Mike's cross-dressing spouse, Lily, glided across the ballroom floor, and slipped, unnoticed, through the squeeky hallway doors. "Master Clive has disappeared a few moments ago with the wealthy movie starlet and notorious leftist spy, Gena vaan Finkledoorf", she thought to herself... "I wonder if they have exchanged parcels without paying their individual postages?"... Neither one of the amorous pair had realized that Muffy Sinclair aka Muffy Fluffenswaffe aka Muff The Moldavian Beer Wench aka Malted Muffins aka Tuff Muff had placed stamps, without being noticed, on Frau vaan Finkledoorf's rather large bundle... AND special postage stamps, they were... Engraved and printed by the best in the field, Manuel Hung, had managed to copy the map of the legendary Juan Peron's treasure onto a 44 cent postage stamp... "If this map falls into my master's hand" thought she, I just might get that raise I need; and, therefore I will have enough money to score that sweet silver surfboard for my nephew, Hugh... Suddenly, from behind...

Jarad the dragon Slayer swooped down from the bell tower and plunged his sword into the table before her. As she fainted, he procured the bundle with the specially engraved stamps and flew out the window on his firey dragon Espinar.....

"Fear not, Dame vaan Finkledoorf!", said he (with he being Clive)... I shall follow that foul breathed flying lizard; for, wherever Jared and Espinar may go, Lady Brunhilde aka Betts Brunhilde aka Brunnie Betts aka Bett Yawont, will be close at hand... Meanwhile, back at...

Indian Inks Irreversable Incrediable Tat Salon....Muffy and Fatima were getting matching icons traced deliciously on their identical
fabulous....

sugarloaf kettles... and on them, as if it should come as any surprise, identical henna tats strongly resembling maps of Argentina... Muffy's left kettle covered the east and the west while Fatima's was that of the north and south... Tuning in his wristband radio, Clive, contacted Two Fingers Malone, owner of the Dirty Sox Saloon, where Muffy and Fatima pole danced part-time to cover their bills while between espionage gigs...

Fatima, dressed as usual in silk Daisy dukes, with rings on her fingers and bells on her perfectly pedicured toes,caught a ride with Bruzin Thumper on his purple flamed chopper and was racing to the docks, where she would hook up with a man dressed as a beggar.There they would board a ship named the Black Onix, headed to Scotland.
Muffy, missing her private D!ck, Frank and sometime lover Clive, whom she had saved from beheading, flew behind Jarad the Dragon Slayer to the tiny island of JuJu where they were to meet with the killer Whodunit....

Whodunnit was a dastardly fellow, sporting a waxed n twisted evil looking 'stash. Quietly giggled contemplating who might his next client want killed in a most heinous fashion.

At long last they arrived at the cabin hidden in the forrest of JUJU.
Whodunnit was waiting, carving on a thigh bone of his last victum.
Jared, helping Muffy from the dragon's back, greeted his brother with a frown...

His brother, Nu'uakquagaampopoo (or Nu'poo for short) was a tall male of medium stature with a small scar across his pandollum and several gnarly gigyfams on his plattoes which he picked up from the wasslesnauffs who hung around the industrial tanks near the intergallactic space ports... grinned as he looked up from his latest issue of 'Wasslebowlle Caliente' and saw his brother standing there like a frozen stick of bibbllumppah... dressed to the nines in a tight-fitting spotted lopagdee number purchased on a rumppah holiday in Les Vaguus... Well my...

HELL! I CAN'T EVEN READ THAT MUCH LESS RESPOND TO IT!!

my dearest clive .I have always loved you in your Elvis suit .and when you wiggle your pom poms it makes my wigwam all warm and cozy and I must spare you from that dreadful scank Muffy Buff and her overinflated tat of a mosquito in labour.

gotya's!

Yes you did!!!You're too much for me!

Betts McGee, you certainly made me laugh and you definitely gave me some rather interesting visuals... BUT I must beg your royal leave, Queen of Robber Barons and Gypsy Fortune Tellers... for there are seven roaring hounds to be released and fed... I will leave you with you a clue though...

Nu'poo knocks on the door three times score when the sumplepumpp coughs on the mosquito lumbubboobles...

Ditto for you, my luffy Muffy-kins... AND all those other named characters whos names escape me...

Look here Nu'Poo....there's this wench that needs to be taken care of. You know her from the honky tonks in Neverlands..Lady Betts aka Bro0mheilda the Bad Witch of the Upper World....she must be destroyed!