Isn't it always the way it is?

actually it has alot to do with the woman's self esteem........I stayed in a bad marriage for years because I thought I couldn't get any better and didn't think I could be alone and manage to live life the way I thought I could being with the abusive jerk

Do you think maybe a girl thinks she can change them into nice guys? I'll never figure that one out.

I had the same problem. Although, before my friend got married to him, (they were married within 3 months of dating or less I think?) I told her at one point, to wait. I just didn't like the guy and I knew someone was up, but I tried to tell her to wait. He was controlling I could tell. Wouldn't let her call me or other people. She couldn't hang out like we used to. After they got married it didn't last but maybe two months. She's going through a divorce still as we speak. So, I wish that she would have listened to me in the first place to save her all that trouble.

That makes a lot of sense! Never really thought of it like that before!

What a good brother!

I think that for every personality trait, there are good and bad elements to it. For example, I might think I want a sensitive man, so he will care about my feelings. But then I realize the flip side of the sensitive man is that he might get his feelings hurt a little too easily, which might get on my nerves.

As far as the bad boys go, the bad element is that they might treat us badly; but the reason we let them is because the flip side to that bad boy image is that they are exciting and different and that turns many girls on.

The thing about many of the so-called "nice guys" is that they can come across boring. Particularly online, if they have not done something to set their profile apart.

I personally like a NICE guy far more than a bad boy, as long as he is interesting as a person and exciting to me intellectually. Otherwise I get bored.

i was 7 when she was born i remember that day well. she`s now 18, and bought her 1st real boyfriend to meet me just the other day, i shook his hand...and crushed it..just a litle tho

we are attracted to what is familiar to us,..

if we struggled to feel accepted growing up,..especially by the opposite sex,..than that is what we become use to,.. what feels normal -- no matter how abusive,..

being accepted by the opposite sex just may be the most ackward thing to accept --like ' what`s wrong with this person ' if he / she can just accept me without me having to do anything

Largely because she has invested so much into the relationship it's hard to cut her losses and move on.

The nice man that wants her is too easy. He's like a puppy, always there picking up whatever she drops. She wants a man that's hard to get. If he's hard to get he must be a better man. We always care more for the things we work hard to get and care little for the things that come easy. It's human nature.

Yeah, my oldest daughter found that out the hard way. Actually had to send the guy to prison to get her away from him....even then he threatened to kill her if she left him.

.....he is STILL in prison after 10 years, is he gonna be surprised when he gets out, daddy doesn't take kindly to people threatening his kids!

Because the " truly nice " guy is kinda boring.

She already KNOWS he's nice, so she isn't able to look forward to changing him from an ass to a " nice " guy.

Big time self esteem issues.

etc....etc...etc.....

I think it becomes a challenge to make him want you. A mission. And they're convinced it'll happen, and then all will be right. They need to feel wanted, and who better to get that feeling from than someone who once didn't? Must mean they're "something" if they can change his mind.

Or at least that'd be my guess for those who KNOW he isn't into them.

I think a lot of women are just truly oblivious though. Forgetting that with men, you don't need to read into every little detail. What you see is what you get. Like the poster who said something about how he must love you if he can get that angry with you... Women tend to think about all the little details and over analyze everything, and often complain that men don't pick up the signals we try to send off. So yeah, I think it's just part of that... Assuming/hoping/wishing out of desperation, lack of self esteem, and loneliness he must really mean something other than what he's displaying on the surface.

its funny how people say that nice guys finish last. nice guys are the ones who most of us end up working for one day. i hope the doctor i work for some day is a asshole that way i get the cute nurse's..... mmmmmmmmmm

see i dont get BORING ... ima nice guy that does not make me boring. it means i dont have to be an ass to get a girl. see most people mistake kindness for weakness and that will end up gettin your ass kicked by the "nice guy" not thrashing at you man im just sayin

Its because a woman is a variation of Bob the Builder, well, without the penis, of course. "Can i fix him? Yes I can!" Also, there are women that are drawn to the abuse, the neglect, the lack of respect for many reasons. Some examples would be: to attain the unattainable goal. Women will stick around in the hopes of making the guy change his mind and show respect and compassion. Sure, it normally backfires, or the guy starts to when something drastic happens (albeit, for a short time before falling back into old habits). Now, in some situations, there are guys that dont even realize that they are being neglectful, and when brought up, they can change it. But, it also brings up how when a woman gets it, either one of three things happen: she doesnt know what to do with all the extra attention, she is pushed away by the extra attention since she was used to the lack (the thing of how the chase is much more enjoyable), or she demands more (like anarcha feminism, or femnazi-ism). But in my opinion, its because when it comes down to it, the "bad boys" know what to do to get things done, and will step on some feet to do so. The "bad boy" term is outdated and overused. See, lets say, with whimmin, if one is at the bar in a club, and theres a guy hitting on her and they are talking, and another guy comes up and pulls her out to dance, does that make the latter a "bad boy"? No, it makes him a cockblocker. And besides, who says the "bad boy" is more fun? Getting treated like crap is fun? Sorry, but the nice guy is more prone to make sure you enjoy yourself, not trying to only ensure his good time. If you are with a "nice guy" and you are bored, more than likely you dont voice that to him. So, its not his fault youre bored, its yours for just sitting there and not saying jack. So, in conclusion, 2 points: women that like the "bad boy", go get welcome tattooed on your foreheads, because you're in for a lot of men to walk on you. And second, the reason that chivalry isnt around much at all anymore is because whimmin have unanimously shown that they dont want chivalry, they want to instill it eventually when its convenient.

Main reason this perdicament happens:

We always want what we can't have and we never want what we can have easily.

In this case, the man can have the girl easily. The more she tries to keep him, the less he wants her because he doesnt even have to try to know that he can have her.

Also in the same case. the girl can't have the man easily. Therefore she literally hangs on every word waiting to see how she can please him next in order to win her love. However it backfires and he treats her more bady because the easiness increases with every good deed she does.

it's just a comfort zone for them, and texas scoundrel said it best this time around.

i'm more monk-like, and stay clear of drama with women of that type of vicious cycle.

i really enjoy beating the crap out of "boys" that bully women, and men that have trouble defending themselves. Not because they will change, they won't. i just like watching over good people, and giving the bad guys a really hard time.....it's fun.

Because they are dumb? I've read through almost all of these posts, and no one is yet to hit it on the head...it is simply because they are dumb, no more, no less. They haven't the ability to see what is "right" at the current point in time, some may even never see it...this is simply stupidity ladies and gentlemen, nothing more, nothing less.

I don't think it's because women are dumb...just emotional, they make deciscions with there feelings, they invest so much emotionally in a man who treats her poorly. Then they become co-dependant, rather be unhappy then alone. It's not really rational, but there's nothing rational about women