lol I did say I think the title topic was probably not the best...but I had been awake all night and hadn't slept when I started this thread lol

I don't think there is anything wrong with the feeling...it's just different to me. I think I have actually realized my inner strength. I knew it was there but never really felt it before. now it's like a peace. but who knows how long that will last lol

I know (in the past) I have sabotaged things in life too....is it because we are scared or just think we will just be disappointed again?

Could be that for you, for me it is the fact that I have been alone all of my life. I never actively dated and really just had fun with life. Then I started trying to date and realized I was a hell of a lot happier alone, so that is where I am at.

Some people are just better alone, some could go either way, and other's need someone to be with them. I sabotaged relationships because I was not used to them, and therefore didn't know how to act...now I just stay out of relationships and I'm a lot happier.

fear...as long as you are happy. I have to admit...I don't know what that feeling is like. even my family lives within 5 min of each other (parents, grandparents, sister's family, my family) I have been far away from them much and I do think after my dad died when I was 7... think I tried to fill the void (because I didn't deal with it until 32) in relationships I guess. I saw how my mom was after he died and maybe I didn't want to feel that way. i know it's misguided

ready to give up myself

I think I might go shoot some pool tonight. it's kinda nice to be able to just up and go when I want. I can knock balls around without worries (kidding guys)

I pretty much live with family, but I can go everywhere and anywhere I want as I please and finances allow. Live with my father right now but I'm looking to change that soon and move to Denver to live with my aunt.

I am not happy living in Illinois, I despise this state more than any other state I've been too (I've been through a lot of states). But I am happy when I have no one else I have to worry about, as long as it is just me that is the focus I can survive here. Someday I might get an apartment, but I doubt it because I like moving around (this is another reason I cannot hold a relationship).

Happy is created by you, it is formed like clay, you decide what it is that would make you happy and you pursue it. For me it is moving around and seeing different parts of the country, and later the world. I walk a lot as I like to see the scenery and different living organism's in a given locale, I write, I produce music, I rearrange music, and I create. Best of luck in your search, took me isolation and roughly 20 years (actually 6, long story).

I never felt that way before. I think a lot of it had to do with my dad....but I'm learning lol. it's hard to teach an old stubborn dog like me new tricks lol. i used to feel comfortable and secure in the same old things and missed out on a lot. but maybe I can make up for it now that my son is 18

runs and hides in a corner in the basement

I gave up a long time ago. Too much drama for one lifetime.

Last night I was talking with a co-worker. She told me her last date bought beer and took her to the whataburger drive through. His plan for the rest of the date was to watch a DVD on his laptop at the lake. If that's the kind of dates men are taking women on I can understand why you would want to give up.

Yup. Took me 4 years to get out of it.

Yep...been there a couple of times. Then a smile, or a look, brings it all to wanting to try again.

Sometimes its during those times you happen across someone wonderful...

Never give up.

I have had some dates like this too!! What are men thinking??

yes, quite frankly all the time, but I sort of let things come my way. I don't exactly go looking for things. They just sort of happen. In the meantime I'm happy being alone.

Yes ... and that is usually when they find me