Long story short....
Man & Woman married 19 yrs.
Woman has lots of issues & unhappy most of marriage.
Mom refuses mental help.
Man happy guy & tries to make it work. Not working...
Kid about to turn 18 & graduate High School in a month & 1/2.
Kid not happy with Mom either.
Man t i r e d of B.S. Ready to start new life.

Here is the question....
Should Man end it now, or wait until Kid is 18 & out of H.S.?

now, it's over no point prolonging everyones agony

man is lookin for a new relationship whilst still in one?
why would woman be happy
man is seperated?
but still lives with woman?
yes that is bs...

I know this sounds wrong not to think about mans own happiness & family happiness but speaking from personal experience... WAIT... the healing process for kids takes much longer than adults... my son took it very hard... it was difficult... if I had it all to do over I woulda waited.

sorry to hear this. Painful either way, for all involved... IMHO - there is never a "good" time...

Why wait? if the situation is that bad & unresolvable.

You said it all

Tired of bull****

Ready to go

Then go

Don't need our opinions

Man told Woman of divorce last fall.
Woman upset over timing with holidays.
Woman promises to get help.
Once lawyer called off, woman refuses to seek help until money from lawyer returned.
Lawyer says Nope-signed contract. No refunds. Legal, but not the right thing to do...
Man still living with Woman, but very tense.
Woman not KNOW Man looking because he is unhappy.
Man NOT cheating, only looking in order to prepare himself for pending divorce.
Man only wants to be happy with a happy Woman.

Kid can't wait till turns 18 & is able to move out. Has asked Man several times over the years why Man not get divorced.
Man says "trying to fix relationship".

Man now tired of trying. Only stayed this long for Kid's sake.

If the situation is as bad as what is stated... prolonging it doesn't make anyone or anything better. Believe me, kids know when things are not right. I left after 22 yrs. after my kid was out on his own. When I told him of what was happening... he said "why didn't you do that 11 years earlier?" So it really doesn't make anyone or anything better to wait. Only reason to wait is if there is a chance of things being resolved.

If it's over, it's sad, but it's over.

woman in this scenario seems like she so unappreciative of all the chances given by the man - oh wait the man wrote this.

I don't understand why man is looking.
People need time to heal after the end of a relationship. And...still living with wife is not fair to other women.
It sounds like a back-up plan to me. It also makes the situation ripe for a rebound.

If it's over, it's sad, but it's over.

woman in this scenario seems like she so unappreciative of all the chances given by the man - oh wait the man wrote this.




Granted, Man wrote this. It is one sided.
How can Man or Woman give both sides accurately??
Both are biased towards their own feelings.

Is man leaving wife because she has mental issues?

Granted, Man wrote this. It is one sided.
How can Man or Woman give both sides accurately??
Both are biased towards their own feelings.


I believe there are 3 sides to every story, yours, the other parties and the truth.

Good luck - regardless it's sad to invest so much time and energy in a relationship for it fail. Been there, so good luck to you and them.

I don't understand why man is looking.
People need time to heal after the end of a relationship. And...still living with wife is not fair to other women.
It sounds like a back-up plan to me. It also makes the situation ripe for a rebound.



Granted, Man should have gone ahead and left in Fall.
Felt bad for Woman & other family. Let her talk him into staying b-cause she promised to get mental help.
After holidays Woman now says not need mental help, only marriage help. Then chenges that to only getting marriage help after $$ is returned.
Woman's family agrees she needs mental help. Woman thinks everyone is out to get her and none of the problems are her fault.

If you were in a dead end relationship, wouldn't you look too?

How do you know what is out there if you don't look?

Is it Man or Woman who is ripe for rebound?

Is man leaving wife because she has mental issues?


No, Man is leaving because Woman denies mental issues that all around her see. Woman refuses professional help.
Woman makes all around her unhappy.
This has been going on for MOST of 19 yr. relationship. Not new.

"If you were in a dead end relationship, wouldn't you look too?"

No, I wouldn't be looking. I would totally be out of the relationship first. Then I would allow myself time to heal and re-learn who I am as a single person. I would not have anything to offer anybody until I get myself together.

"How do you know what is out there if you don't look?"

That's not important to me unless I'm totally out of a relationship and have healed. Actually, I can't even relate to that question - "What is out there....."

"Is it Man or Woman who is ripe for rebound?"

The next person that you're with could be a rebound.

But...that's just me.

Why is everyone talking in "Neanderthal-speak"?

Man appreciates your candor & your opinion.
Granted, Man has been with one person for almost 1/2 of his life. This is new & uncharted territory for him.
He is trying to do what he thinks is best for himself & family.
Only time will tell if his choices have been correct.