I absolutely agree with the not opening another door. Personally, I refuse to date anyone who is just "separated". Made that mistake once and only once, and it didn't end well. Too much fresh baggage, transferred emotions, and all sorts of drama. Blech.

Didn't mean to imply that the advice given wouldn't be reasonable or good advice. Just meant that we can't possibly know everything that's going on, especially since we only have one side. Additionally, mental is just as harmful as physical hurt. I was not suggesting either course of action for him.

I will stick with what I said. and the fact maybe you should get some help also. seems to me you like to hold grudges too. your just making your own list of excuses here.... sorry. JMO.




O.k. I never said I did not need some help. I begged her to go with me to marriage counceling. She refused.
The list of excuses are hers, not mine.
I am a very forgiving person. She is not.
How can me listing those things mean I am holding a grudge? Would you suggest I forget what was told to me?
I'm not bitter, just tired.
I am not opening another door. I am not contacting anyone. You could say I am door shopping??? Just a metaphore.

Mentaly, I was over this a long time ago. Yes, there will be some healing from the breakup, but more than that will be breaking some old habbits that stemmed from walking on eggshells trying not to hurt her. What's on T.V. tonight can cause an argument, let alone regular life.

I understand it is my decision to divorce or not. I have made up my mind to do it.
The only and original question was when.

My Son has not asked me to wait. He was wondering when it would happen because he was tired of the fights too.

Yes, I could wait. There are other things & family plans that would be even more complicated by waiting. Basicly, it comes down to the lesser of two evils.

As soon as I READ the topic before reading post I said leave.. end it man, if theres doubt.. in my opinion thats usually the answer.

I will stick with what I said. and the fact maybe you should get some help also. seems to me you like to hold grudges too. your just making your own list of excuses here.... sorry. JMO.




O.k. I never said I did not need some help. I begged her to go with me to marriage counceling. She refused.
The list of excuses are hers, not mine.
I am a very forgiving person. She is not.
How can me listing those things mean I am holding a grudge? Would you suggest I forget what was told to me?
I'm not bitter, just tired.
I am not opening another door. I am not contacting anyone. You could say I am door shopping??? Just a metaphore.

Mentaly, I was over this a long time ago. Yes, there will be some healing from the breakup, but more than that will be breaking some old habbits that stemmed from walking on eggshells trying not to hurt her. What's on T.V. tonight can cause an argument, let alone regular life.

I understand it is my decision to divorce or not. I have made up my mind to do it.
The only and original question was when.

My Son has not asked me to wait. He was wondering when it would happen because he was tired of the fights too.

Yes, I could wait. There are other things & family plans that would be even more complicated by waiting. Basicly, it comes down to the lesser of two evils.
Well God bless you then I hope it will work for you .I would still just wait the couple of months till your son graduates and then go full force from there .Maybe have all your ducks in a row in the meantime .Be open with your son and good luck to both of you !

O wait sorry.. NOW. lol.. I dont see anything wrong by enjoying another womans company either, yes work on whatever issues u may have, but go enjoy yourself.. sounds like you deserve it. Of course you should state your wants, and idea of what your looking for to someone.. do I think you should run out and seek seomthing totally committed right away? hell no.. but also, yeah, get outta that relationship, and THEN persue. But yooo definitely now.

OH I know I just was saying same as you these are only our opions but he needs to make the choice...

Man asking wrong people.
Man not giving enough information.
Man happy guy not seem real happy.
Man should take kid to a professional.
Man should go to a professional too.

Okay you waited 19 years of unhappy marriage, so the kid does not have to watch the divorce and nastiness that is about to ensue. What is a month and a half more??

After 19 years of unstability, you will not be stable enough to carry any type of relationship or healthy dating scenario anyways.

Not to knock your side of the story, but there is always more than one side of an issue. It takes two to be miserable or happy, two argue, two carry on a conversation, two make a decision when affecting two, two carry out a divorce, and took two raise your child.

Sorry about your miserablesness in your current situation.....I am dismissable and won't be hurt by being dimissed.

Have a great DAY!!

Do you really need to ask... Leave and find yourself.. Be happy and live your life to the fullest!!

Well,
I had a nice conversation with my Son yesterday.

The first thing he said was:
"I have been waiting for this since 5th grade.
Dad, I know it will be an emotional time, but plese don't wait for graduation or my 18th birthday.
Do it and lets get on with our lives.
I know Mom is difficult to live with, but I do not want her to think we are abandoning her. I will live with both of you part time for now.
Can I set you up with someone??"

I guess that pretty much settles it.

I thank everyone for their input and opinions.