Topic: I need help-2 yr old bed issues!
corin1985's photo
Wed 03/04/09 10:50 PM
Ok, my daughter is 2 years old... I have a couple things I need advice on. And if anyone can help me out, I will love you forever!

First one, How can I get her to bed on time? I generally try to lay her down for bed around 8:30 or 9 pm... But she won't go to sleep, she sits in her room screaming.

Second one... How do I get her to sleep in her own room? The only time she won't scream and yell is when she's in sleeping with me. Problem with that, she's a very active sleeper, while she's falling asleep she has a habit of kicking her legs into anything that's near, including but not limited to my face or the wall. And she won't go to sleep until midnight or 1 in the morning.

Please help me out!
Thanks, tired and first time single mother...

Winx's photo
Wed 03/04/09 10:54 PM
Do you have quiet one on one time with her before she goes to bed? Like holding her and reading books?

no photo
Wed 03/04/09 10:56 PM

have you tried reading her a bed time story,or maybe two,lay down next to her and read,that way she can snuggle up next to you and that too may help her sleep..remember patience ..sometimes those little people can just keep going even when you cant..dont be surprised if you find that ole bed time story putting both of you to sleep side by side...isnt that a nice thought...
....first time single dad..bigsmile

corin1985's photo
Wed 03/04/09 11:08 PM
Edited by corin1985 on Wed 03/04/09 11:10 PM
Yes... and she won't sit still for the first line... She loves books, but she doesn't like being read to... she just looks through them, reciting the stuff she remember from the one and only time she let me read it to her.But even that doesn't last long.


Shannonface's photo
Wed 03/04/09 11:12 PM
My daughter is 2 now, when she was younger she would never go to sleep in her crib, so, i let her cry it out until she realized this is the way it's gonna be, no ifs ands or buts. After that she was in bed like clock-work every night at 9 o'clock. And don't let them have naps after 3, that makes them stay up late.

Stories are a great tool, but at the same time you need discipline. 2 year olds are beginning to assert their independance, and you need to guide them. Used to take me 15 minutes max to get my daughter to bed. Same thing every night after dinner, bath, brush teeth, story, bed. Of course now that I'm divorced and working full-time someone else gets to put my daughter to bed and they let her do what she wants, which is extremely annoying and NOT helpful. Her dad might as well be a ghost with all the help HE gives me, ass. But, that's a whole nother story, lol. If I get home early enough I play her ballerina music box for her and sing a song.

But yes, patience is key, the ability to know when to step back and let them throw a fit without giving in so they don't grow to learn manipulation through outbursts. Every child is different, though. And every parent has a different way of parenting. So, really, you just have to pick a course you want to take and make the best of it.

no photo
Wed 03/04/09 11:17 PM

then lay next to her and see if you can talk her into reading for you while you lay next to her...remember to praise her like say ..mommy likes it when you read to her,or you have such a pretty voice when you read...the little ones sometimes they take it out of you when you have nothing left...just try to remember ..
these are some of the best years you will haveand if that dont work for you than the thought that one day their kids will do the same to them helps...laugh
..i personally love the little ones...better when they are someone elses..lol
i raised four kids not all mine but i never made them feel that way ..my youngest will be 18 in 5 months yippeee..i'm free i can finally go out again..but probably wont ..kids keep you grounded and that can be a good thing sometimes..take care..

corin1985's photo
Wed 03/04/09 11:20 PM

My daughter is 2 now, when she was younger she would never go to sleep in her crib, so, i let her cry it out until she realized this is the way it's gonna be, no ifs ands or buts. After that she was in bed like clock-work every night at 9 o'clock. And don't let them have naps after 3, that makes them stay up late.

Stories are a great tool, but at the same time you need discipline. 2 year olds are beginning to assert their independance, and you need to guide them. Used to take me 15 minutes max to get my daughter to bed. Same thing every night after dinner, bath, brush teeth, story, bed. Of course now that I'm divorced and working full-time someone else gets to put my daughter to bed and they let her do what she wants, which is extremely annoying and NOT helpful. Her dad might as well be a ghost with all the help HE gives me, ass. But, that's a whole nother story, lol. If I get home early enough I play her ballerina music box for her and sing a song.

But yes, patience is key, the ability to know when to step back and let them throw a fit without giving in so they don't grow to learn manipulation through outbursts. Every child is different, though. And every parent has a different way of parenting. So, really, you just have to pick a course you want to take and make the best of it.


I never had a problem with her going to bed in her own bed until the beginning af February, that was when she got her own room. At first she was fine with it, and now, not so much.

I've tried the letting her cry it out thing, and it doesn't work. There's been several night where i left her crying, and she will nonstop all night. She was in there screaming at the top of her lungs for 2 hours tonight before my neighbors came over and complained, so she went to my bed.

74Drew's photo
Thu 03/05/09 12:01 AM
Edited by 74Drew on Thu 03/05/09 12:01 AM
no carbs, no sugar, no caffeine

of course i don't kids, but just a suggestion.

no photo
Thu 03/05/09 12:15 AM
try a night light..

Winx's photo
Thu 03/05/09 12:24 AM
Edited by Winx on Thu 03/05/09 12:27 AM
Let her fall asleep holding her favorite stuffed animals or dolls in her arms. Take at least 30 -45 minutes of holding, reading, and talking to her. Let her tell the story if she wants. That way she can feel like she's in control of something. Even make up stories together.

Dinner shouldn't be near bedtime. Her tummy might get too full. Maybe a little snack before bed could help though. Start turning lights off in the meanwhile. That sends her the message that the day is done.

A white noise machine is sometimes nice too.

Just some ideas.



PacificStar48's photo
Thu 03/05/09 02:37 AM
I ran into this problem over and over as a foster parent and parent and grand parent. Kids pick up when you don't have control of a situation even before they can stand and the longer it goes the harder it is to turn around.

First off unless this child is napping both morning and afternoon and gotten into a shorten sleep cycle she is going to bed much too late. Two year olds should have schedule of getting up and going to bed at set times so that they can get 8-10 hours at night and 2-4 hour nap in the middle of their day. If you do it in conjuction with dawn and dusk you are going to have a much easier time of it. The one I worked with most often was getting up at 7:00 am. nap from 1:00 to 3:00, bath and supper before 5:00 and then bedtime at 7:00pm.. They need that time for their supper to digest before they are going to be ready to go down. We shut the TV off before supper and it didn't come back on until they were asleep. TV over stimulates a child's brain and you are spitting in the wind trying to get them to disengage. They will let the body zonk but the brain is churing. Same with vidow games or computer. Bathtime generally reves kids up.

If you have a child that is used to sleeping with someone all their life sleeping alone is a real shock. That is why I have always told parents not to start the shared bed thing. If they are sick or you want to read the funny papers together do it on the sofa. If the child gets the message from the start that that there bed is only and absolutely their comfort place the less likely they are going to be to allow someone to catch them off guard in their bed.

Something else that can make going to bed more difficult is useing being put to bed as a punishment. Or staying up as a reward.

A lot is going to be said about different houses different rules the answer to that is "That is there; This is here; my house my rules.". All places have different rules kids are very adaptable.Kids will try to call your bluff with hysterics or telling you they hate you or they want to live with anyone but you but you just have to ignore it. If the Grandparents, Ex, or neighbors try to undercut you it is really hard but you have to stand your ground.

What will help is sometime when your child is throwing a tantrum lay them on their stomache and hold their arms close to there sides and prop your body across their torso and upper legs so that they can wiggle and flex their body and turn their head right and left and even kick their lower legs but not get up. They will scream, spit, cry, rub their face in the their snot, cough, and sometimes hold their breath, plead, bargain, tell you they are sorry, they love you, but eventually they will wear themselves out and go to sleep. You need to refuse to say a word. Don't explain to anyone what is going on, or try to manage other children the child has to learn that they pitch a trantrum you are going to stop them PERIOD. Absolutely no bargaining or threatening. You have to stay with it until they go to sleep not just until they stop fussing. Resist the temptation to raise up and see if they are going to be good because that just re-entergizes them and more or less you have to start over. If the phone rings or you have to pee ignore it. By picking and earlier time of the evening your neighbors can complain but the cops are not going to bother you for setting boundries on your child's tantrum. They would much rather you do it in a time that they don't have to be called to the school or your home when they are compleatly out of control hurting themself, your other kid, or you.



lilith401's photo
Thu 03/05/09 05:37 AM
Pacific is right.

8:30 or 9 is just too late. My child is seven and he goes to bed at eight. Kids that are two need about 14 hours of sleep.

Adjust the naptime or eliminate one, if there are two.

Be firm. Be firm. DO NOT CAVE.

Love your child enough to stay strong and say no.

I highly advise talking to your pediatrician. Take notes.

Winx's photo
Thu 03/05/09 07:47 AM

Pacific is right.

8:30 or 9 is just too late. My child is seven and he goes to bed at eight. Kids that are two need about 14 hours of sleep.

Adjust the naptime or eliminate one, if there are two.

Be firm. Be firm. DO NOT CAVE.

Love your child enough to stay strong and say no.

I highly advise talking to your pediatrician. Take notes.


I'm standing behind these bedtimes. They are late for my child though. When my child was 2 yrs., bedtime was 7:00-7:30. My child is older now and goes to bed around 8:00-8:30. My child sleeps 12 hours.

corin1985's photo
Thu 03/05/09 01:48 PM


Pacific is right.

8:30 or 9 is just too late. My child is seven and he goes to bed at eight. Kids that are two need about 14 hours of sleep.

Adjust the naptime or eliminate one, if there are two.

Be firm. Be firm. DO NOT CAVE.

Love your child enough to stay strong and say no.

I highly advise talking to your pediatrician. Take notes.


I'm standing behind these bedtimes. They are late for my child though. When my child was 2 yrs., bedtime was 7:00-7:30. My child is older now and goes to bed around 8:00-8:30. My child sleeps 12 hours.


Thanks everyone for your advice, I'm going to try some of it out. I took her in the room for her nap today and she wouldn't sit still for a book, so I made sure there was nothing noisy in the area, pretended to be asleep for about 10 minutes and she finally got bored and crawled up there with me. And fell asleep within 15 minutes. So maybe it'll work for bed time. Thanks again!

splendidlife's photo
Sun 03/08/09 08:51 PM



Pacific is right.

8:30 or 9 is just too late. My child is seven and he goes to bed at eight. Kids that are two need about 14 hours of sleep.

Adjust the naptime or eliminate one, if there are two.

Be firm. Be firm. DO NOT CAVE.

Love your child enough to stay strong and say no.

I highly advise talking to your pediatrician. Take notes.


I'm standing behind these bedtimes. They are late for my child though. When my child was 2 yrs., bedtime was 7:00-7:30. My child is older now and goes to bed around 8:00-8:30. My child sleeps 12 hours.


Thanks everyone for your advice, I'm going to try some of it out. I took her in the room for her nap today and she wouldn't sit still for a book, so I made sure there was nothing noisy in the area, pretended to be asleep for about 10 minutes and she finally got bored and crawled up there with me. And fell asleep within 15 minutes. So maybe it'll work for bed time. Thanks again!


My little one just turned 3. Most of the time, I read to her in her room and end up falling alseep... sometimes not waking until morning. Sometimes, I'm able to sneak away. Sometimes there's just a whole lot of gnashing of teeth. As a single mom who has practiced attachment parenting, I struggle with setting limits. She has had me wrapped around her lovely little finger. Tonight (partly because of the time-change) was one of those nights when she just wouldn't fall asleep. I layed there next to her, agonizing over when and how to make my stealthy escape. She popped her eyes open and started singing the blues. I'm just no good at tough love. I know I must set limits, but feel like one giant thumb. She counts on me giving in...

Anyway, that's about my plight. On the nights that go alright, I read to her in her own bed. It has worked better than fighting her. She slept in the bed with me until she was 2 and a half. Getting her into her own bed was monu-freaking-mental (and I do mean mental :tongue:).

I hear you, girl. Doing it on your own places extra guilt when you feel like you're not getting it "right". Just remember... you're learning. You learn from each other.

Winx's photo
Sun 03/08/09 08:52 PM
Please don't forget...they won't always be sleeping in your beds.flowerforyou

ReddBeans's photo
Sun 03/08/09 11:05 PM
My 3yr old gives me a very hard time about goin to bed. Usually he ends up fallin asleep in my bed and I move him into his after he's good and asleep. It's sumthing we as single parents unfortunately have to deal with. Like Winx said, they ain't always gonna be sleepin in our beds. smokin

hunter39m's photo
Thu 03/12/09 06:35 PM
I was the same way when I was a child and my daughter is the same way
but since it took me almost 16 years to have my first baby
when my wife and I were together she slept with us all the time and now that were divorced she still sleeps with me when I have her on the weekends and I get her every weekend because my X would rather
party with her new boyfriend and thats just fine with me
anyway my daughter and I both have problems with our legs hurting at night,mainly after a busy day of hiking or running or sometimes they just ache in the knees we both take a little ibuprofen about half hour before bed and that seems to help a lot
and about the sleeping with you I'm not sure what to tell you
my daughter doesn't sleep with her mom anymore and when she stays with me,even if she falls asleep in her room she usually climbs in my bed sometime in the middle of the night and since i'm still single its not a problem right now
anyway,your daughter being only 2 probally feels more secure sleeping with you at this time and she'll probally grow out of it
what might help is having some of her friends over for a slumber party,maybe not at this age but in the near future it will get her used of being a little more independent,maybe lol:smile:

splendidlife's photo
Fri 03/13/09 08:44 AM

I was the same way when I was a child and my daughter is the same way
but since it took me almost 16 years to have my first baby
when my wife and I were together she slept with us all the time and now that were divorced she still sleeps with me when I have her on the weekends and I get her every weekend because my X would rather
party with her new boyfriend and thats just fine with me
anyway my daughter and I both have problems with our legs hurting at night,mainly after a busy day of hiking or running or sometimes they just ache in the knees we both take a little ibuprofen about half hour before bed and that seems to help a lot
and about the sleeping with you I'm not sure what to tell you
my daughter doesn't sleep with her mom anymore and when she stays with me,even if she falls asleep in her room she usually climbs in my bed sometime in the middle of the night and since i'm still single its not a problem right now
anyway,your daughter being only 2 probally feels more secure sleeping with you at this time and she'll probally grow out of it
what might help is having some of her friends over for a slumber party,maybe not at this age but in the near future it will get her used of being a little more independent,maybe lol:smile:



Yeah... What helped my daughter to be more willing to sleep apart from me was being around a boyfriend's girls and sleeping with them. That was a key ingredient.

Slumber Parties... What an awesome idea! And from a dad, no less.