Don' pik on peeple, or yur gun get hollered at.

No, it's never okay to me.

I will admit I'm not one that thinks cheating is right at all.

But I do feel that with this statement that if the whole story was told that some may be more understanding to what is actually going on.

We all make judgments on first thoughts. Even though I still believe that cheating is wrong I think you have not begun to explain the whole situation either.

no im not kidding and i just figured out how to use this post

thank you for that,he really is very sick also mentally the tumor was in his frontal lobes,that controls all your feeling desire,rage,etc 16 hrs surgery and its so sad to watch this every day

That's not the answer! Divorce is not the answer for everything. Melinie, I don't know your whole story, but just from what you have said here it sounds like you are going through a lot. There are different circumstances for different people. I, myself, don't believe in cheating, but I can sure understand your frustration! Good luck to you in whatever decision you make.

your very nice and right

So much for:

For better or for worse
For richer or for poorer
In sickness and in health.

so much for better or worse? i havent done anything,
but take care of him i just was asking whatother people think

Um, folks, a brain injury changes who her husband is. He might not ever remember her name, and she tells him every day. Most likely, he is on all sorts of medications, angers easily, is impulsive, and is nothing, I repeat NOTHING like the man she married. She has stuck by him in sickness and in health. In fact what she has sacrificed is more than what most people would even consider doing.

OK no it's not for me to say. Honestly I was reminded by it of the pain and fear i had of that type of situation in my life. I guess I'm too passionate about the subject and it's not about me anyway. i apologize

I think adultery is adultery. But gosh how I feel for you, regardless of the severity of his injuries. If you truly need the physical release, you do what you need to do. What I think is not really important. I can't sit in judgment of you, I've not walked in your shoes.

That still doesn't change the fact that she married the guy. Regardless of what has transpired in the interim, those vows should still mean something.

That's the problem. Too many people today say those vows and live by them, EXCEPT in such-and-such circumstance. Well, why even say them then? A person knows what they're getting into when they make those vows. If they have no intention of keeping them, or if things change that are beyond their control, then their only two options are either to not get married at all, or get divorced. Nobody deserves to be cheated on, no matter what the circumstances.

I do know a lot of what your going thru. I'm sorry to hear & sorry to say so. but best to tell more of the 'whole story' before asking opinions. see what happens. my story(very short-as this is your space)30 yrs,last 10 very sad, commited finally & can't be served "D" papers!
Mmmmm... roadtrip...IL...somewhere...kinda cute! LOL

you hit on the nose everything you said is right on i have hole in my walls,he is obsessed with lots of things,no reasoning skills left,short term memory getting worse you are a wonderful person not to judge people,thats how i try to be thank you. melinie

I hate to say this, but you don't know what you are talking about. It's great to sit high and mighty on your ideals. Live a day in this lady's life. Do you even know what a traumatic brain injury does to a person? It's funny you posted in teal, becuase you see in BLACK AND WHITE.

Melinie~ No, I'm not wonderful, I just truly get it. I meet with people like your husband after they break the law. And it breaks my heart each and every time.

So because her husband suffered a brain trauma, that should give her license to go out and cheat?

I see in black and white because there are rarely any shades of gray. I'm not passing any judgements, as the OP can do whateverthehell she wants. She's the one who has to live with her decision. However, she DID ask for opinions. I gave mine.

That's a judgment call you'll have to make for yourself.
I've known men and women who have had loved ones go through similar situations. Alzheimers, Lou Garigs, brain damage, etc. They all essentially lost their partners although they remained alive. A lot of folks will just dump them into a care facility and visit on occasion. They only stay married because the insurance pays the care.
The folks who will sit in condemnation of you, probably have never had the experience and can't comprehend the stress of caring for someone with brain damage.
It is commendable, you choose to care for your spouse. You take care of you.