Ahhhh, hey thats not real bad...He could be an axe murderer.
Or still might be...wink.
One lie, no-matter its reasoning. Its still a lie and breaks
the trust you had...SO I would just ask his why..
Then depending on his answer and how I felt about them..?
Move on, or find another lie.??
But even ONE spoils the trust you give in your beginning.

My answer when asked is "I'm going to celebrate the anniversary of my 26th birthday"

The man I have just started to see is 23, I asked him if he knew how old I was when he expressed interest. He said to me "I know you are beautiful, I know you are funny, I know you are kind, and I know you are intelligent, when age matters I will ask."

Wow, so many people here that accept lying. That's sad. Lying to someone is the ultimate in disrespect, for yourself as well as them.

He scored some points there!

um so now u r 26, and last week u were 35? u going backwards...lilly.

Always mama always...

and NO I said I will be celebrating the anniversary of my 26th birthday.... for the 10th time in September....

I am sorry this happen to you. You deserve better. I can tell you are pretty much in shock and already rationaizeing this all away. I hope can find the strength to do what needs done. Put your head up and shoulders back. Someone or something is looking out for you letting you know what is really going on. It was because they love you and are trying to protect you. You are a pretty special to have a guardian angel.

I am bit confused, by some of the things you have written, here so here is my questions before I give my opinion on the lie issue.

You state age has no meaning yet you also state you are going to be 28 forever. Which is it. If someone told me age has no meaning but they in the next breath tell me they are going to stay under 30 forever would be telling me that "Age" does have meaning. So saying that the age thing I have no clue why he lied. I also don't condone a lie not matter what it is. Also when you filled out your medical I am assuming you did it as a couple by your statment in the original post. Didn't you look over the paper work. I know I read everything closely.

Now the lie I would be wondering also what else he lied to me about and I would be addressing this issue in a nonconfrontal way. I would also need some time to really think about how the dynamics of this relationship changed over one lie.

Good luck

I do so understand what you are saying. I just think that discussing it with him may shed some light on the whole thing. He may have had reasons that were at least honorable for wanting to lie about his age.

I don't think there are too many of us that can say we have never lied about something in our lifetimes, with good intentions. I get that you can't base a relationship on lies, because you will always be wondering what the next one is........however, nothing is ever just black and white.

It would be nice to think we could live simplistically always telling the truth about everything....I just don't see that as real life. She has to decide how big of a deal breaker this is after she gets some answers, if she chooses to get them.

I'm sorry but perhaps I've missed something here--Do we know yet whether or not he's lied? The card was found and it appears that he's not going to be confronted at this point, so where is the verification?

I'm also not sure I'd be all that crazy about someone thinking I'd lied to them with a community of people with no vested interest in the end-result, while not talking to me directly.

As for the lie itself (if it turns out there was one) well, it's a stupid lie to tell in that it's one that is tough to cover. I mean, don't lie about the basics lest people assume you lie about the more complex things in life.

Finally, we all lie. To those who want to make lying about "all men" oh please. I lied last week. I lied when I told a friend that the food he'd cooked was really very good. It wasn't and I almost yacked. Oh, and I lied when I told a family member that I really liked the sweater they got me for Christmas. Again, I didn't really like it at all (which is rare in that I'm not picky about clothes) but again, should I have told the truth?....and to what end?

Every person here loves someone in their life who they have lied to and been lied to by---

The severity is often the point and to some extent it is a matter of degrees. Still, it is a bad idea to lie about basics like age, geographic location, job title, things like that because all it really does is cause people to wonder---and when people begin to wonder, it's generally not in hopes of discovering the best!

-Drew

Whisper.....you know that the age thing... his telling you one age, and being another was a deception....


you knowing of the deception, and deciding to do nothing... and wait for whatever else to appear, is encouraging resentment.

If you have lost trust in him.... tell him so, and why... who bloody cares HOW you found out...

clear the air and your mind... discuss it with him... worst case scenario... he is out of your life.... best case scenario, is you BOTH learn it is SAFE to discuss any fears, doubts or concerns with each other.

i wonder if he has kids and how old... could ask about that then comment on his age when he had them?

I think this is an obvious case of deception, not just being polite about a gift. I am very careful how I word my thanks for a gift I really don't like. Sometimes you have to stretch the truth to be kind, but I do so rarely & with little elasticity. Lying about your age to get accepted into a relationship is not like telling your mother in law her meatloaf was "a nice dinner"

lilly i am not chur mamma, but i will share what cali professionals say and that is no more than 12 years difference either way...he 23, and u 36?

about telling white lies.....about a man's age..5 years is not alot. and chances r the dude has lied about other stuff.

but from the women's comments here, they seem to feel that men do this routinely.
some men don't and some women don't but some do.

i remember when i made a post about being a certain age or not admitting my real age, everybody thought that was a sin. but i think that people have been dodging the age issue for a long time, and telling they r younger....why cause hollywood makes it a sin to be old.
this is a pyschological ..... in the head issue.

i know i am older, and so i want to feel younger....i am going to make it happen, then say i am 50 for the rest of my life, and i don't celebrate anymore and let it go at that.

I really am nearly 45 !!!!!

And am superbly amazed and shocked that I made it this far!!!!!

I am loving this number thing....it's hilarious!!!

And g'day Duffy.

how u....jess

It's over everybody. I ended up confronting him, he blew up at me, so I said it was over and walked out of the store and told me that I was taking the night off. You do not tell me that a piece of government issued I.D. lied. Cause any normal person would get that fixed in a hurry.

So I have been sitting around all night watching sappy romance movies and pigging out on ice cream and chocolate.

You are courageous. I wish I had even an ounce of your bravery.