100% FREE ONLINE DATING
sponsored links
Previous
| Topic: Just ask JustAGuy - part 5 | |
|---|---|
|
|
|
Hey JAG  Got a serious one for you. I asked advise before about taking a chance with a gal six years older with three kids. Maybe you still remember. Her being older & having kids hasn't been an issue whatsoever & thanks again for the advise. We both fell head over heels & were doing great till last Saturday I got a call from her. We were planning for her to come to the church I attend to hear me play guitar & she wanted to check it out there since she hadn't found one she liked here yet. After, we were planning on going to the beach together. Well, she told me that she didn't feel it was right to come to a church that my x had attended & where people knew I wasn't yet officially divorced. I've been separated since October of '07; over a year & haven't yet filed for divorce. This is mainly because I kept putting it off & didn't know how to go about it & can't really afford legal advise. I've had my son this whole time & think that is the best arrangement for my son's sake. He does visit his mom one day a week. I want physical custody but don't want a fight in the courts. All this is a real headache for me & the reason I've put it off for so long. Well, my girlfriend doesn't see it that way. Her thinking is that I'm not over my x or I would have filed a long time ago. I understand where she's coming from & I would probably have doubts too in this situation, but really, it comes down to a serious case of procrastination on my part. She is in the middle of a divorce herself fighting for custody of her kids. I tried my best to reassure her & tell her how much I honestly care about her. I told her I'd finish the divorce papers this week & get it going since it really is long overdue. Just yesterday I spoke with a family lawyer that attends the church I go to & she's supposed to help me out with the details without emptying my wallet so, I am getting the ball rolling. In the phone call, she said that she cared about me too much & that she was afraid of being hurt again. She had overlooked me not filing divorce yet cause she liked me so much but that she'd been thinking a lot about things when it came time to come to my church & meet some friends of mine, etc. I said I'd get things moving this week. She said that if I had really wanted a divorce that I would have already done it & that if I did file, it would only be out of her pressuring me. I said I'd file & call her later this week & she said she did not know if she would pick up my call. Basically, our relationship is now in limbo & I have a mixed feeling of emotions. Just that Saturday morning, she stopped by my place just to say hi, we were making out on the couch & totally in love; a few hours later, the phone call. What I'm wondering is; is she testing me or have I just been dumped? I'm already feeling loss over this situation & have been pretty down these past few days. I'm filing soon regardless. Wow. This one may be beyond my limited capabilities, man. The only thing I can say is that you have to assure her that you aren't filing only because she " pressured " you into it. Once you get things filed, try calling her. Let her know all of your reasons for not having done so before. Let her know, in clear, plain, simple language how you feel about her. She will either accept it, or she won't. Sorry dude. That's the best I have for you. |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Wow. This one may be beyond my limited capabilities, man. The only thing I can say is that you have to assure her that you aren't filing only because she " pressured " you into it. Once you get things filed, try calling her. Let her know all of your reasons for not having done so before. Let her know, in clear, plain, simple language how you feel about her. She will either accept it, or she won't. Sorry dude. That's the best I have for you. Yea, thanks for even attempting it. I figure I'll do just that; file & see if we can pick up where we left off. It'll be up to her at that point. We had all kinds of plans together; camping & hiking trips, guitar lessons. He11, I just bought her a $450 dollar acoustic that's sitting next to me right now. I'd like to think that this is just her way of trying to push me in the right direction but I guess I'll find out soon enough. |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Wow. This one may be beyond my limited capabilities, man. The only thing I can say is that you have to assure her that you aren't filing only because she " pressured " you into it. Once you get things filed, try calling her. Let her know all of your reasons for not having done so before. Let her know, in clear, plain, simple language how you feel about her. She will either accept it, or she won't. Sorry dude. That's the best I have for you. Yea, thanks for even attempting it. I figure I'll do just that; file & see if we can pick up where we left off. It'll be up to her at that point. We had all kinds of plans together; camping & hiking trips, guitar lessons. He11, I just bought her a $450 dollar acoustic that's sitting next to me right now. I'd like to think that this is just her way of trying to push me in the right direction but I guess I'll find out soon enough. Keep in mind that picking up " where you left off " probably isn't going to be possible. Things might be slightly different for a while. She is in a concerned frame of mind. It'll probably take her a awhile to get out of it. |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
JAG...what's a man's perspective on this: One person THINKS they might be in a relationship that has potential even though it is, to date, unspoken & so they aren't really SURE about the status. That same person gets asked out for a casual date by someone else...but has a little heartburn over the idea of that. Would it be cheating or damning the possibility of the first/hoped for relationship or is it just 'okay' & maybe even smart to give someone else a chance given that nothing has been clearly defined? I know my gut feeling...just wondering what you think & if a male perspective is different. Does it matter if it's the girl being asked out by a guy or the guy being asked out by another girl? My perspective....stop thinking so damn much. The " potential " relationship is ' unspoken '. Someone asks someone out...go out. You ( just saying the word, not pointing at anything in particular ) can't sit around waiting for someone else to figure out if they want to make the " relationship " a spoken one. Either ask the other....or go out. THINKING!!! Dang it! That always gets ya in trouble! 
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
How would it be possible for him to see anything BUT his shadow with all those stupid tv lights around? AND be scared! Yikes! Hadn't thought of it this way before... poor little guy! |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
How would it be possible for him to see anything BUT his shadow with all those stupid tv lights around? AND be scared! Yikes! Hadn't thought of it this way before... poor little guy! Heh. I found it kinda obvious....lol |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
How would it be possible for him to see anything BUT his shadow with all those stupid tv lights around? AND be scared! Yikes! Hadn't thought of it this way before... poor little guy! Heh. I found it kinda obvious....lol We have Wireton Willy here and apparently he agrees there is 6 more weeks of Christmas! groan Just a guy how would you handle Valentines day if you just met someone, say the day before the holiday? |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
How would it be possible for him to see anything BUT his shadow with all those stupid tv lights around? AND be scared! Yikes! Hadn't thought of it this way before... poor little guy! Heh. I found it kinda obvious....lol We have Wireton Willy here and apparently he agrees there is 6 more weeks of Christmas! groan Just a guy how would you handle Valentines day if you just met someone, say the day before the holiday? I have no idea...lmao I actually have a date for two nights before Valentine's Day and I am completely clueless as to what to do. LOL |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
I have no idea...lmao I actually have a date for two nights before Valentine's Day and I am completely clueless as to what to do. LOL Ummmmmm.......let's see. You buy a LITTLE cheesy chocolate rose or something like that. Something that lets her know you didn't forget!! I can't wait for details!!! |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
I can't believe I said six more weeks of Christmas duh!Well you know What I meant.
I agree with Heather a small chocolate rose with a tag saying I am happy to meet you.I card is to personal.Good luck jag have fun! |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Thanks, ladies.
It's bad enough that I am breaking one of the ( at least according to what I have read here ) cardinal rules by taking her to a concert on the first date. Of course, we ARE going to be going to dinner before the show....but the whole " walk in the park, nice quiet conversation " thing just isn't me. I am an ' opposite ' kinda guy. So far, she seems to appreciate that. Remains to be seen if she'll continue to appreciate it after next Thursday...lmao |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
JAG....
How can I make my profile more appealing to the opposite sex. I send e-mails...nothing... mutual match... nothing... What am I doing wrong? |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
JAG.... How can I make my profile more appealing to the opposite sex. I send e-mails...nothing... mutual match... nothing... What am I doing wrong? Honest opinion?? To me, the first couple of lines sound just a bit harsh. Saying that you find " window shopping " insulting ( while true ) may be something that says ' attitude ' to a lot of guys. You have never seemed like a very negative person to me. But the first part of your paragraph does come off that way a bit. You should also try to write more about what kind of guy you are looking for. You really need to give guys a ' lead ' as far as what you want from someone so that they can determine on their own if they suit you. |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
JAG.... How can I make my profile more appealing to the opposite sex. I send e-mails...nothing... mutual match... nothing... What am I doing wrong? Honest opinion?? To me, the first couple of lines sound just a bit harsh. Saying that you find " window shopping " insulting ( while true ) may be something that says ' attitude ' to a lot of guys. You have never seemed like a very negative person to me. But the first part of your paragraph does come off that way a bit. I just recently put that on there... I was sick of guys just looky looing at me... I am not a piece of meat... Thanks for the advice I will switch it up a bit.... You should also try to write more about what kind of guy you are looking for. You really need to give guys a ' lead ' as far as what you want from someone so that they can determine on their own if they suit you. |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
I understand where you are coming from with that.
But you can't let a few ( or even a bunch ) of idiots make you put something in your profile that could potentially turn the good one away. |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
I understand where you are coming from with that. But you can't let a few ( or even a bunch ) of idiots make you put something in your profile that could potentially turn the good one away. I know, I suck... Lesson learned... You are so awesome JAG!!!! |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
I understand where you are coming from with that. But you can't let a few ( or even a bunch ) of idiots make you put something in your profile that could potentially turn the good one away. I know, I suck... Lesson learned... You are so awesome JAG!!!! I'm not awesome. I am just a guy. |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
I understand where you are coming from with that. But you can't let a few ( or even a bunch ) of idiots make you put something in your profile that could potentially turn the good one away. I know, I suck... Lesson learned... You are so awesome JAG!!!! I'm not awesome. I am just a guy. Okay, that was corny!!! 
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
I understand where you are coming from with that. But you can't let a few ( or even a bunch ) of idiots make you put something in your profile that could potentially turn the good one away. I know, I suck... Lesson learned... You are so awesome JAG!!!! I'm not awesome. I am just a guy. Okay, that was corny!!! * bows * 
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
I understand where you are coming from with that. But you can't let a few ( or even a bunch ) of idiots make you put something in your profile that could potentially turn the good one away. I know, I suck... Lesson learned... You are so awesome JAG!!!! I'm not awesome. I am just a guy. Okay, that was corny!!! Cowgirlstomp post,post,post and your personality will shine through.Let the guys see who you are.Have fun! |
|
|
|
|
