"How do you describe yourself?"

Nope, I'm not falling for THAT again -- you'll have to come up with your own this time.

"Very picky and not willing to settle. May go thru 1000 profiles and find only 1 I am attracted to."

Heh, rookie....

"Frankenstein is my life.Blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blahBlah blah blah blah blahblah blahblah blah blah blah blahignhgvrnrjoigrhuighihguiuijvieviofudfoiuefi"

Ygor, turn off the electrodes....

This must be a private conversation

"Single mother of two children who are my reason for breathing."

So you held your breath for how many years before you had the first one....?

"What if I told you that I'd settle for a guy with a real job and no physical mutations?"

Oh, look, your pants are on fire....

"I'm an old-fashioned Southern belle with beauty and a nice bustline!"

Yeah, the old-fashioned ones always make sure they promote their bustlines....

"Life is to short for drama and petty things. Women who obey rules rarely make history. Life is a matter of perspective."

OK, you can put down the Bartlett's and do your profile now....

"I AM A 26 YEAR OLD FEMALE~I DONT HAVE ANY CHILDREN~I HAVE BIG FEET."

Every now and then, I see something in a profile I've never seen before!

Points for originality, anyway....

"First off let me just say this..if u look at my profile and don't send a message I will assume u are not interested."

That's reasonable....

"I'm 23 And a single mother of 2 wonderful kids they are my life so if u dnt like kids please leave my page....."


Pfffft, I've been kicked out of better profiles than this....!

"okay well for first, i have dark brown hair down my back with a red tint to it"

You really ought to have something done about that.

"I'm looking to meet a nice guy hang out and do thing's together become good friends see what happens then go from there. You must like kids, love kids,and want to be around kids."

Wait, what are you trying to say?

"I would love to meet someone that is tired of dating, tired of being alone,tired of doing things by yourself, tired of watching football by yourself."

I'm seeing you with a narcoleptic somehow....

Can I break in with a good one I saw on a different site?? They ask you questions to answer in your profile. One was:

What did your past relationship(s) teach you?

This one man answered "to learn to duck, to keep heavy objects nailed down and to not have sharp objects in the home."

They also asked where you would like to go on your first date: He said:

"He didn't care and you would have to drive anyways as the police don't let him anymore, they seem to have a problem with him doing that." (He is blind.)

I thought he was really original and really had a great profile.

Kinda defeats the purpose then, dunnit?

"I have varied interests and am looking for someone to share them with."

"But I'm not going to tell you what they are."

"Just here looking to chat and find some new friends and eventually looking for something else."

Car keys? Mousetrap?

"Being on top of your game requires a unique perspective."

Look, it's Willie Mays selling some kind of insurance!

"Waiting to meet that man who remembers why he joined a dating site in the first place."

As if I could ever forget....