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| Topic: One GLORIOUS profile - part 3 | |
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"i don't really drink or do drugs anymore. "
You just pretend to now? |
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"I'll be frank; I have issues and still carry a lot of old garbage around(just like the most of us!), I'm not comfortable all the time, I can be paranoid and suspicious, although jeleousy is really not my kinda thing (seriously!!!). "
Ahhh.... Refreshingly honest and incredibly scary all at once! |
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"this is the stuff i DIS-LIKE RUDE GUYS,PUSHY GUYS,FISH,GUYS JUST LOOKIN FOR A SEX CALL THEN NOTHING ELSE!!"
How about a sex call and then we catch the opera. |
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"This is the part where you are supposed to tell the world all the things that are appealing about you."
I suppose you could fill us in on the terrible living conditions of llamas in the southern Andes mountains of Chile. |
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"I love hanging out with my parents they are my best friend"
I couldn't decide whether to go with a 'Bates Motel' angle or an 'autogamy' angle. |
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"Hi! My husband killed himself in February."
How can I be laughing so hard at such a tragic opening line? |
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"this is the stuff i DIS-LIKE RUDE GUYS,PUSHY GUYS,FISH,GUYS JUST LOOKIN FOR A SEX CALL THEN NOTHING ELSE!!" How about a sex call and then we catch the opera. I've always found it rather ironic and humorous that the women who write things in their profiles about disliking "guys just looking for sex" (or some derivative thereof) are usually the same ones you see posting later in the forums about how horny they are, how freaky they get during sex, and how often they get it. |
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Interests: music, sex
Hi my name is job. I love sex and sexy models. I love vaginas. Profession: doctor (20yrs old)  Think he's a gynecologist??? |
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"There are many goals and aspirations including an invention and ocmpleting my book."
May I suggest a writing course before your next attempt at completing the book? |
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"What can I say about myself that you probably haven't already heard or read many times over?"
How about "The most important thing in my life is dressing up like a panda and throwing oranges at passing cars?" |
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"Green eyes tired of kissing green toads."
The yellow ones sometimes secrete some sort of poison. |
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"I could write about myself, but I really don't want to."
Lord knows the time could be spent so much more productively. Have you checked if your toilet seat is up or down? |
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"Well I thought by being honest and opening up my soul in my profile on here that it would have led me to the right one but it didn't."
What the hell gave you THAT idea? |
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"I hate this part and will be back later.. when it lets' me create a profile that is.So, I type and eventually have a profile. What do you think i'm like ? lets see if this is enough."
"Enough" doesn't even begin to cover it. |
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"From across the room you would notice that I am a tall redhead with lots of curves."
Up close, you're a short skinny blonde with hydrocephaly. The perils of dating a shape-shifter. |
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"Before I decided to try this internet dating thing again, I asked myself Why?"
Well, you obviously came up with the wrong answer. |
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"With all the sh*tI've been through I should have given up a long time ago but I hate being alone and I have a constant nagging fear of dying alone."
Little-known fact -- most healthy relationships are based on a morbid fear of death. |
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"You no what i am looking for is easy,someone who is HONEST ,CAREING,THOUGHTFULL,FAITHFULL,DEVOLTED,TRUSTWORTHY,but at the same time is my best friend."
I've been devolted before, but I didn't enjoy it at all. |
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"Not sure what to put here. If you'd like to know, just ask."
No thanks, I already know what to put here. |
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"I swear I will write when something comes to me. Meanwhile, entertain me. I was reprimanded for terse description. So I should say I am looking for friends and hilarity. That should suffice for now."
Yes, I now know all there is to know about you. No, seriously.... |
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