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| Topic: Dans Comedy Club | |
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a man walks into the bar and order six tequila shots lined up on the bar. He downs each one in rapid succesion
The bartender says "wow, what's the occasion?" The man says, "I just had my first blowjob" So the bartender says "Great, lemme buy you another shot" and the man says, "No thanks, if six won't get the taste out of my mouth another one won't do it" |
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Edited by
Pink_lady
on
Thu 11/06/08 04:31 PM
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Dan was ambling through a crowded street fair when he decided to stop and sit at a Palm Reader's table. Said the mysterious old woman, "For fifteen dollars, I can read your love line and tell your romantic future."
Dan readily agreed and the reader took one look at his open palm and said, "I can see that you have no girlfriend." "That's true," said Dan. "Oh my goodness, you are extremely lonely, aren't you?" "Yes," Dan shamefully admitted. "That's amazing. Can you tell all of this from my love line?" "Love line? No, from the calluses and blisters." |
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HAHA! Lisa sent that one to me on text recently, Robin.
Four fonts walked into a bar and the barman said 'GET OUT, we dont serve your type in here' |
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Dan was ambling through a crowded street fair when he decided to stop and sit at a Palm Reader's table. Said the mysterious old woman, "For fifteen dollars, I can read your love line and tell your romantic future." Dan readily agreed and the reader took one look at his open palm and said, "I can see that you have no girlfriend." "That's true," said Dan. "Oh my goodness, you are extremely lonely, aren't you?" "Yes," Dan shamefully admitted. "That's amazing. Can you tell all of this from my love line?" "Love line? No, from the calluses and blisters." I saw your edits! who is this Paul fellow?! lol! |
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Edited by
Pink_lady
on
Thu 11/06/08 04:33 PM
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Dan was ambling through a crowded street fair when he decided to stop and sit at a Palm Reader's table. Said the mysterious old woman, "For fifteen dollars, I can read your love line and tell your romantic future." Dan readily agreed and the reader took one look at his open palm and said, "I can see that you have no girlfriend." "That's true," said Dan. "Oh my goodness, you are extremely lonely, aren't you?" "Yes," Dan shamefully admitted. "That's amazing. Can you tell all of this from my love line?" "Love line? No, from the calluses and blisters." I saw your edits! who is this Paul fellow?! lol! Adapted joke! lol! A man says to his wife, "I fancy kinky sex, how about I blow my load in your ear?" The wife hastily replies, "No, I might go deaf!" To which the man replies, "I've been shooting my love wads in your mouth for the last 20 years and you're still fu**ing talking aren't you?" |
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  Oh God, keep 'em coming folks 
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Edited by
quiet_2008
on
Thu 11/06/08 04:33 PM
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Dan was ambling through a crowded street fair when he decided to stop and sit at a Palm Reader's table. Said the mysterious old woman, "For fifteen dollars, I can read your love line and tell your romantic future." Dan readily agreed and the reader took one look at his open palm and said, "I can see that you have no girlfriend." "That's true," said Dan. "Oh my goodness, you are extremely lonely, aren't you?" "Yes," Dan shamefully admitted. "That's amazing. Can you tell all of this from my love line?" "Love line? No, from the calluses and blisters." I saw your edits! who is this Paul fellow?! lol! hahaha I saw that too |
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Walking hone from the pub one day two gentelman noticed two dogs going at it on a front lawn.
'I wish i could get my wife to do that' one man said. 'i can tell you how' says the other 'take her out to the pub, give her 3 martinis, and she will be all yours' The following week the two guys had met up for a drink. 'So how did ya get on?' 'it went well, very successful, i took her to the bar, gave her 6 martinis...' '...SIX martinis?!' 'Yeah it took her 3 to get her to do it doggy style but another 3 to get her on that front lawn' |
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Two guys were discussing popular family trends on sex, marriage, and values. Andy said, "I didn't sleep with my wife before we got married, did you?" Dan replied, "I'm not sure, what was her maiden name?
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A bloke walk sin a cafe and orders a cheese roll and a cup of tea
'That will be 14 pounds please sir' '14 POUNDS! there is a sign outside saying popular prices!' 'Well i FKN like them!' |
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A guy walks into the doctor's office with a frog on his head.
The doctor says, "What's the problem?" The frog says, "Well, it started with a bump on my ass." |
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News report: Three dead Iraqis found in a Tesco carpark...
...Every little helps. (one for the Brits lol) |
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A blonde is driving down the road when she sees another blonde sitting in a rowboat in the middle of a field. She stops her car, gets out, and yells to the other blonde:
"HEY! It's blondes like you that give the rest of us a bad name! And if I could swim, I'd come out there and kick your ass!" |
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News report: Three dead Iraqis found in a Tesco carpark... ...Every little helps. (one for the Brits lol) They had just been in the Osama Bed Linen department.. |
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What did the Sadist say to the Masochist when the Masochist said HURT ME?
NO |
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