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| Topic: Guilty or Innocent? | |
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Many people come on here and claim they are single because the relationship they had been in ended because of a Cheating,or it was Abusive, or lots of Drinking/Drugs etc. I see very few that come on here and say "I am the one that screwed up that's why I'm single". Well ..... I am the one that screwed up. I cheated on my wife. I won't go into details but it was my fault not hers, she didn't drive me to do it, I just f*cked up. I can't blame one part of me cheating on her because she did nothing wrong it was all me. I see so many posts that say "If they cheat once they'll do it again" Well it depends on how much destruction and pain you caused and realized how stupid you were. If you think you were totally justified for cheating or blame the other person in your relationship then yep your probably going to cheat again. If your actions have caused so much pain and pure hurt and disappointment in so many lives then you say to yourself "deal me that same hand again and I'll play it different". Not one single person in my life or on this website could ever kick my ass any worse than I have already and do everyday. I admit this this morning because sometimes I log on here and I feel like I am surrounded by all victims and I want to make sure I keep me honest and just as I do in real life I will be the first to tell you I am not with my family because of me! My actions! She was innocent I am guilty. After reading so many posts I have seldom seen someone say "it's my fault" Well just know people, what you just read is what I DID. I have seen how much hurt some of you have gone through and when I read those posts I want to just crawl under a rock because I feel the guilt all over again and I don't ever see that going away. Sorry for showing my serious side this morning but I want to make it clear who myrtlebeachdude (MBD) is and by no means mislead the victims of something so destructful.
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 Cheers MBD...very moving
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Cheers MBD...very moving  And to you my friend
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You know MBD, it takes a man of great courage and integrity to admit what you did and man up to it. In my opinion, it's time to quit beating yourself up over it. Don't forget the lesson you learned, of course, but it may be time to forgive yourself.
I've never believed that once a cheater thing. People are human, they make mistakes. If it's a pattern of behavior, yeah, but a one time thing shouldn't automatically condemn you forever. While I didn't cheat in my marriage, it's demise was just as much my fault as his. I made my fair share of mistakes. I hope I've learned from them and I'm trying to not make the same mistakes in my current relationship. I'm sure I'll make others, though
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Edited by
OneMoreTimeAround
on
Wed 10/15/08 04:24 AM
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Many people come on here and claim they are single because the relationship they had been in ended because of a Cheating,or it was Abusive, or lots of Drinking/Drugs etc. I see very few that come on here and say "I am the one that screwed up that's why I'm single". Well ..... I am the one that screwed up. I cheated on my wife. I won't go into details but it was my fault not hers, she didn't drive me to do it, I just f*cked up. I can't blame one part of me cheating on her because she did nothing wrong it was all me. I see so many posts that say "If they cheat once they'll do it again" Well it depends on how much destruction and pain you caused and realized how stupid you were. If you think you were totally justified for cheating or blame the other person in your relationship then yep your probably going to cheat again. If your actions have caused so much pain and pure hurt and disappointment in so many lives then you say to yourself "deal me that same hand again and I'll play it different". Not one single person in my life or on this website could ever kick my ass any worse than I have already and do everyday. I admit this this morning because sometimes I log on here and I feel like I am surrounded by all victims and I want to make sure I keep me honest and just as I do in real life I will be the first to tell you I am not with my family because of me! My actions! She was innocent I am guilty. After reading so many posts I have seldom seen someone say "it's my fault" Well just know people, what you just read is what I DID. I have seen how much hurt some of you have gone through and when I read those posts I want to just crawl under a rock because I feel the guilt all over again and I don't ever see that going away. Sorry for showing my serious side this morning but I want to make it clear who myrtlebeachdude (MBD) is and by no means mislead the victims of something so destructful. That took a lot of guts and courage! It also, IMO, says that you're a better person for taking the time to look "within" rather then always looking outward. Admitting our faults is a lot harder, then displaying our virtues. Hugs to you! |
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MBD |
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 Danny It takes great character to admit your faults to yourself, it takes even greater character to admit them to others. It takes a very stupid man to admit them on here with all of the judgmental pricks....   I'm kidding sugar.... 
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And admitting them in this manner takes even more courage. Cheers, MBD.
<--- a MGD for MBD
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Dude,you have a set of brass balls to lay yourself open like this.Some people may use it to take cheap shots at you,but i say fair play to ya.
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Edited by
BrandonJItaliano
on
Wed 10/15/08 04:51 AM
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If you judge ye to shall be judged three fold....
Both the wise man and the fool error, only the fool never catches it and trys to right it! |
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As a man i have to say im amazed that someone can stand up and say i messed up...my favorite quote sums it up...
"its better to be an open sinner then a false saint" its better to let others learn from your mistakes then to remain chained by them. |
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ok good
now, put the baggage down and keep walking...... tell me story about shatting off the boat or some other hilarity |
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MBD ~ I applaud you! Not only for being honest with yourself.. but also for all of the courage it took to share this
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Very few men or women will admit that. Funny how they will admit other things.
Myself my ex did cheat it took almost 4 years later before he finally told someone that he was the one in the wrong that I did not deserve what happened. To this day yes we do talk and no longer is the hate there. That was 16 years ago. It does sadden me for some to think just because one has cheated in the past they should never be forgiven. That is so wrong for we all make mistakes and let the moment take over from a one night stand to the extreme. Does not mean that we can not change nor does it mean that anyone has the right to condemn another for their actions in the past. There is no one in this world that is perfect nor will there be. Besides in the end the only one that has to deal with their actions is us. It takes a real person to stand up and deal with not only what they have done but to admit it as well. So cheers to you for being able to see life in reality. 
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MBD - incase you haven't admitted it to yourself yet, it was all your fault
It takes someone that is extremely confident in themselves a whole lot to expose this to others.  |
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Time to stop beating yourself up.
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Time to stop beating yourself up. Thank you dear and everyone but really this is not about me but how this effects others. I just know what I have done and I can see the pain from both sides. The sun will still shine and we will all move on but I won't mislead people on here or IRL. |
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wouldnt expect less from you MBD!
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Notwithstanding all the benefits of doing what you have done here MBD, I am just wondering from the people here if what you have done here has made them MORE attracted to you, or LESS attracted to you!!
How IS human nature, really? Curious minds want to know... |
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To you MBD
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