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| Topic: So..................... | |
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I have been dating this wonderful man for the past 11 months.Things were great but we have a little problem that is going to end up being a big one if it doesnt get better. I am 5 years younger than him and I think that we are sexually incompatible..........I have a high labido and he doesnt..........so what should I do end it now or should i try other things(which I have but) its kind of becoming a pain............(Advice Please!) A guy not wanting alot of sex usually means one of three things. He's depressed, your not doing what he likes or he's just not that into you and or cheating. My last gf lasted a very very short time because sex sucked. I didn't want it, because she was the type to lay there or want this and that. You kinda have to exparament with each person to find what they like, unless there REALLY expierenced and know. and that doesn't mean just the amount of times. It means the amount of stuff they tried. Honestly, sex is usually the easiest thing to fix. I had a friend who saved her marriage and sex life simply by dressing up as a catholic school girl outfit once a week and learning how to talk dirty. It seems kinda silly, but it's true. Usually there is one thing that each person has that turns them on so much that there pretty much always ready to go knowing its there. To be honest, traditional quickies and the same repeated things is what makes it uninteresting for most guys, cause we are visual people. That being said, it's stupid to end a relastionship if sex is the only problem. Thing is, i've never heard of a relastionship where sex was the only problem, nor one that was good everywhere else but sex. There is usually a missing piece hidden somewhere. Sex may seem like no big deal but then you just said that your relationship ended because the sex sucked.............I think he is into me but I think that I have been the aggressor so long he just waits for me.............by the way thats why im askig for peoples opinion so that i can see a different perspective.............I was planning on spending the rest of my life with him but if we lack communication what is the point........... Well see, thats what i mean. Yes, sex sucked last time, but it was because she said she liked one thing, but in turn really didnt, and when i told her what i liked she just didnt bother doing it...ever. Thats not sexual incompatability, thats just really bad communication. The one time we did communicate, it was awkward at first and i didnt really get a chance to get comfy with it. If you can find a way to encourage him to tell you what to do in bed, and for you to tell him what to do WITHOUT hurting his ego, yours, or messing with any issues, then sex honestly gets to a whole new level. Most people can't, simply because its awkward at first and you feel stupid. Honestly if i was a chick, i would flirt with the guy to find out differnt things to try. Maybie watch a porno and see what he likes. 11 months of the same sex makes it routine (if its the same) and makes it less desireable then before. Honestly, most chicks hate to hear this, but we like it changed up a bit. If you start it, then yea, we probly expect you to change it up. The fact that your the aggressor might also be huge into it. I love being jumped every now and then. It's a turn on, but it's also a turn on to jump a sig other. In my expierence chicks that where always the aggresors usually made it hard for me to make the first moves. Even when we where dating for a bit. Either there intimadating, or you honestly think they prefer it that way. One thing one of my ex's did that totally broke that was she dressed up in something i thought was completely hot, and just did her normal day to day things until i just was like **** it, i want some. Though it took a few and i dont think she expected that result. End result, if you keep trying with the guy you'll get frustrated before you figure out what works. You'll figure out what works or find out that nothing works sooner or later. If you really planned on spending the rest of your life with him, then maybie it's worth it to follow the path to the end and see. See you have said it best thanks for that little insight of what men think.........I tried to talk to my guy friends about it and all they would tell me was to dump him............wth and I was like can you give me some insight of how guys think and they were like we just did...........UHHH....... I do understand that i have to have a open discussion with him that is for sure......i also think that i am mos def backing off on being so aggressive because then he is expecting it and I got that this weekend..... On the fact that I want to spend my life with him he is a great guy but so are many other guys should I sacrifice something that is part of making a relationship work (intimacy).......then what is the point then we should just be friends since friends dont have to be intimate (real friends)........... If he's being romantic and holding hands, and all that, then somethings up. If its new, he's probly depressed. If it's always been that way, then there may be other issues, or he may not be 'awakened' yet. Most girls and guy's love sex to the point of obession. When they don't its usually they either haven't expierenced what they like or to much stress is going on in life. I know for me i litterly can't have sex unless i atleast trust the chick. So it's no use otherwise. But if i do, then i can pull 24 hour shifts if i'm close to her. Some people have weird quirks like that. My guy friend said the samething but if that is the case then i guess we arent at a place where he trusts me to tell me whats up............he is a quiet guy and sometimes shy........usually I have to intiate a convo and its rarely he does.....and im not a mind reader............ |
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I have been dating this wonderful man for the past 11 months.Things were great but we have a little problem that is going to end up being a big one if it doesnt get better. I am 5 years younger than him and I think that we are sexually incompatible..........I have a high labido and he doesnt..........so what should I do end it now or should i try other things(which I have but) its kind of becoming a pain............(Advice Please!) A guy not wanting alot of sex usually means one of three things. He's depressed, your not doing what he likes or he's just not that into you and or cheating. My last gf lasted a very very short time because sex sucked. I didn't want it, because she was the type to lay there or want this and that. You kinda have to exparament with each person to find what they like, unless there REALLY expierenced and know. and that doesn't mean just the amount of times. It means the amount of stuff they tried. Honestly, sex is usually the easiest thing to fix. I had a friend who saved her marriage and sex life simply by dressing up as a catholic school girl outfit once a week and learning how to talk dirty. It seems kinda silly, but it's true. Usually there is one thing that each person has that turns them on so much that there pretty much always ready to go knowing its there. To be honest, traditional quickies and the same repeated things is what makes it uninteresting for most guys, cause we are visual people. That being said, it's stupid to end a relastionship if sex is the only problem. Thing is, i've never heard of a relastionship where sex was the only problem, nor one that was good everywhere else but sex. There is usually a missing piece hidden somewhere. Sex may seem like no big deal but then you just said that your relationship ended because the sex sucked.............I think he is into me but I think that I have been the aggressor so long he just waits for me.............by the way thats why im askig for peoples opinion so that i can see a different perspective.............I was planning on spending the rest of my life with him but if we lack communication what is the point........... Well see, thats what i mean. Yes, sex sucked last time, but it was because she said she liked one thing, but in turn really didnt, and when i told her what i liked she just didnt bother doing it...ever. Thats not sexual incompatability, thats just really bad communication. The one time we did communicate, it was awkward at first and i didnt really get a chance to get comfy with it. If you can find a way to encourage him to tell you what to do in bed, and for you to tell him what to do WITHOUT hurting his ego, yours, or messing with any issues, then sex honestly gets to a whole new level. Most people can't, simply because its awkward at first and you feel stupid. Honestly if i was a chick, i would flirt with the guy to find out differnt things to try. Maybie watch a porno and see what he likes. 11 months of the same sex makes it routine (if its the same) and makes it less desireable then before. Honestly, most chicks hate to hear this, but we like it changed up a bit. If you start it, then yea, we probly expect you to change it up. The fact that your the aggressor might also be huge into it. I love being jumped every now and then. It's a turn on, but it's also a turn on to jump a sig other. In my expierence chicks that where always the aggresors usually made it hard for me to make the first moves. Even when we where dating for a bit. Either there intimadating, or you honestly think they prefer it that way. One thing one of my ex's did that totally broke that was she dressed up in something i thought was completely hot, and just did her normal day to day things until i just was like **** it, i want some. Though it took a few and i dont think she expected that result. End result, if you keep trying with the guy you'll get frustrated before you figure out what works. You'll figure out what works or find out that nothing works sooner or later. If you really planned on spending the rest of your life with him, then maybie it's worth it to follow the path to the end and see. See you have said it best thanks for that little insight of what men think.........I tried to talk to my guy friends about it and all they would tell me was to dump him............wth and I was like can you give me some insight of how guys think and they were like we just did...........UHHH....... I do understand that i have to have a open discussion with him that is for sure......i also think that i am mos def backing off on being so aggressive because then he is expecting it and I got that this weekend..... On the fact that I want to spend my life with him he is a great guy but so are many other guys should I sacrifice something that is part of making a relationship work (intimacy).......then what is the point then we should just be friends since friends dont have to be intimate (real friends)........... If he's being romantic and holding hands, and all that, then somethings up. If its new, he's probly depressed. If it's always been that way, then there may be other issues, or he may not be 'awakened' yet. Most girls and guy's love sex to the point of obession. When they don't its usually they either haven't expierenced what they like or to much stress is going on in life. I know for me i litterly can't have sex unless i atleast trust the chick. So it's no use otherwise. But if i do, then i can pull 24 hour shifts if i'm close to her. Some people have weird quirks like that. My guy friend said the samething but if that is the case then i guess we arent at a place where he trusts me to tell me whats up............he is a quiet guy and sometimes shy........usually I have to intiate a convo and its rarely he does.....and im not a mind reader............ holy quote hell... yea i hear that. sounds like the situations reversed. Like he's the traditional girl and your the traditional guy on this part. I got no advice other then asking yourself if the juice is worth the squeeze. If it where me i'd still try to figure out a way to make it work. |
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Have you tried drawing happy faces on his stomach with whip cream????
  
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Have you tried drawing happy faces on his stomach with whip cream???? .... i need to get a gf now...i miss that |
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I have been dating this wonderful man for the past 11 months.Things were great but we have a little problem that is going to end up being a big one if it doesnt get better. I am 5 years younger than him and I think that we are sexually incompatible..........I have a high labido and he doesnt..........so what should I do end it now or should i try other things(which I have but) its kind of becoming a pain............(Advice Please!) find someone 10 years younger or more than you, no problem with the libido issue...  trust me, it works
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have you tried titty tassels????
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I think sex is more important that we realize. It is the foundation for intimacy in a sense....
It sounds as though you are accepting responsibiilty for your part in this, which is healthy. Now go talk to him. If this ends up being a dealbreaker, why not find out now? Or if you can fix it, think of all the nookie you are missing! |
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I think sex is more important that we realize. It is the foundation for intimacy in a sense.... It sounds as though you are accepting responsibiilty for your part in this, which is healthy. Now go talk to him. If this ends up being a dealbreaker, why not find out now? Or if you can fix it, think of all the nookie you are missing! I like what your saying and I think that talking is a start. He works and I go to school full time but I am making it a priority for us to talk this weekend............ 
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have you tried titty tassels???? they dont have a big enough closure for me...............
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I have been dating this wonderful man for the past 11 months.Things were great but we have a little problem that is going to end up being a big one if it doesnt get better. I am 5 years younger than him and I think that we are sexually incompatible..........I have a high labido and he doesnt..........so what should I do end it now or should i try other things(which I have but) its kind of becoming a pain............(Advice Please!)  i spent 7 long years with someone like that. The first 3 were fine. She is 4.5 years older. Some had to do with the change of life thing, but it only got worse. It got so bad, she started reminding me we just did it the other day Then it turned into weeks After a while i convinced myself it didnt matter, because i love her Never again Never met a brain that i wanted too have Sex with Get Out
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 have you tried titty tassels???? they dont have a big enough closure for me............... |
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have you tried titty tassels????
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Are you being reasonable.
I once dated a woman that wanted sex at least 4 times per week. With work and the general stress of life it became difficult....but it did'nt end our relationship. Maybe you should take a moment to study why you need so much sex. |
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Are you being reasonable. I once dated a woman that wanted sex at least 4 times per week. With work and the general stress of life it became difficult....but it did'nt end our relationship. Maybe you should take a moment to study why you need so much sex. It doesnt take much to know that I am at my prime its a biological thing and that is why I want sex........whats wrong with sex anyways....most guys complain that they dont get enough when there is a woman that can do that they dont know what to do with them................. 
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Are you being reasonable. I once dated a woman that wanted sex at least 4 times per week. With work and the general stress of life it became difficult....but it did'nt end our relationship. Maybe you should take a moment to study why you need so much sex. Four times a week is totally reasonable.... I could retort with why do you think that is so much? |
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4 times a week is better than none.
 yes my love life is dead.
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Are you being reasonable. I once dated a woman that wanted sex at least 4 times per week. With work and the general stress of life it became difficult....but it did'nt end our relationship. Maybe you should take a moment to study why you need so much sex. Four times a week is totally reasonable.... I could retort with why do you think that is so much? 4 times a week is alot if you don't like women. |
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I think four times on a Saturday during the first year of dating is what I'd like to have....
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wow, must have good stamina to do that.
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wow, must have good stamina to do that. Nah! Morning sex, the getting ready to go out quickie, then twice after you get back (or go upstairs).... Sounds more reasonable?
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