Community > Misc Advice, Help & Support

Topic: Mingle AA
Winx Joined Fri 08/31/07 Posts: 39051	Sun 11/16/08 03:57 PM Edited by Winx on Sun 11/16/08 03:58 PM
I'm still struggling. Been in and out of treatment 3 times. Last dry spell was about 2 weeks. Relapsed one week ago. It's tough. I'm too stubborn to go to AA. I want to try to do it on my own. Also, I'm not religious, and I can't get over the whole spiritual side of AA. I've worked in a rehab. I have seen many relapse when trying to go it alone. An addict alone is in bad company. It is easier to stay clean and sober when you have fellow supporters. They know what you are going through. Why make it more difficult for yourself? The religious aspect - your higher power can be a door knob if you want it to be. It's YOUR higher power.

Filmfreek Joined Sat 11/15/08 Posts: 2541	Sun 11/16/08 04:20 PM
Thank you everybody for your support. I think I'll give AA a shot. My biggest problem is just boredom and loneliness. I think if I were to meet some sober friends that it would help. And AA seems to be the best way to do that.

Ruth34611 Joined Sat 08/02/08 Posts: 32402	Sun 11/16/08 04:25 PM
Thank you everybody for your support. I think I'll give AA a shot. My biggest problem is just boredom and loneliness. I think if I were to meet some sober friends that it would help. And AA seems to be the best way to do that.

michiganman3 Joined Mon 10/29/07 Posts: 14521	Sun 11/16/08 04:45 PM
Get to some meetings, go early, stay late, get to know some people, let them get to know you. My early days in sobriety, I spent a lot time hanging out, drinking coffee, smoking cigs, playing cribbage, and lots of meetings Good Luck

Ruth34611 Joined Sat 08/02/08 Posts: 32402	Sun 11/16/08 04:48 PM
Get to some meetings, go early, stay late, get to know some people, let them get to know you. My early days in sobriety, I spent a lot time hanging out, drinking coffee, smoking cigs, playing cribbage, and lots of meetings Good Luck I'm impressed. I can't imagine how hard that was.

michiganman3 Joined Mon 10/29/07 Posts: 14521	Sun 11/16/08 04:52 PM
Get to some meetings, go early, stay late, get to know some people, let them get to know you. My early days in sobriety, I spent a lot time hanging out, drinking coffee, smoking cigs, playing cribbage, and lots of meetings Good Luck I'm impressed. I can't imagine how hard that was. LOL. After a point, you get willing.

Ruth34611 Joined Sat 08/02/08 Posts: 32402	Sun 11/16/08 04:55 PM
Get to some meetings, go early, stay late, get to know some people, let them get to know you. My early days in sobriety, I spent a lot time hanging out, drinking coffee, smoking cigs, playing cribbage, and lots of meetings Good Luck I'm impressed. I can't imagine how hard that was. LOL. After a point, you get willing. Rock bottom. I'm hoping my sister hits it soon, but I think not. I told her today that I didn't want her watching my girls anymore and she wasn't welcome back until she got some help. Not fun.

michiganman3 Joined Mon 10/29/07 Posts: 14521	Sun 11/16/08 05:12 PM
Get to some meetings, go early, stay late, get to know some people, let them get to know you. My early days in sobriety, I spent a lot time hanging out, drinking coffee, smoking cigs, playing cribbage, and lots of meetings Good Luck I'm impressed. I can't imagine how hard that was. LOL. After a point, you get willing. Rock bottom. I'm hoping my sister hits it soon, but I think not. I told her today that I didn't want her watching my girls anymore and she wasn't welcome back until she got some help. Not fun. No, not fun for the people around the user. My brother doesn't get to see his grandchildren. His daughter just stays away.

Winx Joined Fri 08/31/07 Posts: 39051	Sun 11/16/08 05:19 PM Edited by Winx on Sun 11/16/08 05:21 PM
Get to some meetings, go early, stay late, get to know some people, let them get to know you. My early days in sobriety, I spent a lot time hanging out, drinking coffee, smoking cigs, playing cribbage, and lots of meetings Good Luck I'm impressed. I can't imagine how hard that was. LOL. After a point, you get willing. Rock bottom. I'm hoping my sister hits it soon, but I think not. I told her today that I didn't want her watching my girls anymore and she wasn't welcome back until she got some help. Not fun. Nar-Anon and Alanon teach that you have to take care of yourself and do what's right for you. You and yours are your priority. Detach with love: Don't support them when they're using/drinking but support them when they're in recovery.

Ruth34611 Joined Sat 08/02/08 Posts: 32402	Sun 11/16/08 05:27 PM
She didn't even acknowledge what I said. She just told me that she would come by on Wednesday to pick up a few things she left here. Thanks you guys for the support.

Winx Joined Fri 08/31/07 Posts: 39051	Sun 11/16/08 05:32 PM
She didn't even acknowledge what I said. She just told me that she would come by on Wednesday to pick up a few things she left here. Thanks you guys for the support. You're in a tough spot. Maybe let her know that you care and love her and remind her that you'll be there when she's in recovery.

Ruth34611 Joined Sat 08/02/08 Posts: 32402	Sun 11/16/08 05:35 PM
She didn't even acknowledge what I said. She just told me that she would come by on Wednesday to pick up a few things she left here. Thanks you guys for the support. You're in a tough spot. Maybe let her know that you care and love her and remind her that you'll be there when she's in recovery. I did.

Winx Joined Fri 08/31/07 Posts: 39051	Sun 11/16/08 05:41 PM
She didn't even acknowledge what I said. She just told me that she would come by on Wednesday to pick up a few things she left here. Thanks you guys for the support. You're in a tough spot. Maybe let her know that you care and love her and remind her that you'll be there when she's in recovery. I did.

Thomas27 Joined Sun 10/21/07 Posts: 4860	Sun 11/16/08 07:44 PM
Thank you everybody for your support. I think I'll give AA a shot. My biggest problem is just boredom and loneliness. I think if I were to meet some sober friends that it would help. And AA seems to be the best way to do that. AA is an excellent way to meet sober friends, ease boredom and loneliness. When I first got sober, my sponsor told me to hang out for at least 15 mins after every meeting. So, I did, but I always stood off to the side and watched everyone from a distance. There was always a group of people smoking cigs and talking. Over the course of a couple of weeks, I began to notice that the group of people started slowly moving towards me. I was about as far away as I could get without being in the middle of the street. The next thing I knew, I was surrounded by this group of people, the fellowship of AA. All I did was show up and was willing to hang out for a few mins before running off. Willingness is the Key! Just being willing is the first step, now all you have to do is show up.

Filmfreek Joined Sat 11/15/08 Posts: 2541	Sun 11/16/08 07:52 PM
Thank you everybody for your support. I think I'll give AA a shot. My biggest problem is just boredom and loneliness. I think if I were to meet some sober friends that it would help. And AA seems to be the best way to do that. AA is an excellent way to meet sober friends, ease boredom and loneliness. When I first got sober, my sponsor told me to hang out for at least 15 mins after every meeting. So, I did, but I always stood off to the side and watched everyone from a distance. There was always a group of people smoking cigs and talking. Over the course of a couple of weeks, I began to notice that the group of people started slowly moving towards me. I was about as far away as I could get without being in the middle of the street. The next thing I knew, I was surrounded by this group of people, the fellowship of AA. All I did was show up and was willing to hang out for a few mins before running off. Willingness is the Key! Just being willing is the first step, now all you have to do is show up. Thanks man. Will do.

Thomas27 Joined Sun 10/21/07 Posts: 4860	Sun 11/16/08 08:40 PM
Thanks man. Will do. Best of luck to you!

bigtom1956 Joined Tue 10/28/08 Posts: 235	Mon 11/17/08 03:35 AM
I can only imagine what it must be like , my Dad stopped when I was born and I am sure he has had a struggle . I learned from him and vowed not to let any addictions control me . I have been succesful , but only through conviction and strength . I know that I could never be strong willed on my own . I applaud your stamina and emplore you all to be strong and find a reason to carry on . If not for yourself ,for your family . They are a great resource ,and comfort

itsasqueakthing Joined Tue 11/18/08 Posts: 154	Tue 11/18/08 09:10 PM
My stepfather is and has always been an abusive alcoholic and marijuana abuser. All our money went to payfor his habits first, then the bills. My parents are going through bankruptcy, and my mom left him in August. The last 4 years I have given them hundreds of dollars a month to help them try to make bills, but he smoked it away instead. I only just found out about the drugs, but I had suspected. I hope now that he has lost his house and his family, my stepdad will smarten up. I don't expect to ever see the money again, but I do wish he would get himself a life (I mean that in the nicest possible way too)

tusselboy Joined Sat 10/18/08 Posts: 274	Tue 11/18/08 09:18 PM
itsasqueakthing, u giving him anymore money since you found this out, I hope not. He needs to see that he can't get money, but if he wants help to straighten out, take him in the right diriction.

popcornncoke Joined Fri 11/02/07 Posts: 2088	Tue 11/18/08 09:55 PM
My Mother was alcoholic,She was 36 yrs old.Been gone 34 yrs now.It is hard on the ones that are left behind,they may blame theirself's,sometimes they might even reach for that bottle,drink to take the pain away.I've been down that road a couple of times and almost lost my life.Finally I realize that I can't change the past,I can only go ahead. To those who have quit,keep up the good work and those who might have children,please think about them.