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| Topic: Why are kids horrible? | |
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What about a mom who has 5 kids with the same man whom she was married to the entire time? As for wanting a Daddy, I don't. I take care of my childen fine. I pay my bills. I feed and clothe the children. My ex pays child support and helps with expenses besides. I don't want a Daddy for my kids - they have one. Unfortunatley, men seem to automatically assume I do. It's frustrating actually. I want 6 kids Peccy 
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I've never had this issue. I have always been fiercely independent so the message that I am looking for a daddy for the kids never came across. Then again, I didn't have my children until a little later so the men I dated were older.
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That, by the way, is mostly a facetious question. I don't, myself, think kids are horrible at all. I have kids. Indeed, that's why I am posting this. There seems to be an overall freak-out that happens in a man when he finds a woman is a mother; it is quite a reoccurrence in my life, in fact. One that seriously baffles me. I am very interested in opinions from both sides about this, though especially from men, as I can't seem to get a straight answer out of my own male friends. So, guys, why ARE kids so horrible? You want a straight answer. Alot of men don't want the responciblity, don't want to feel tied down. They like there freedom and above all, there is the ex that will always be in the picture and ill say 7 times out of 10. Alot of women that have kids are still dealing with issues with there ex and haven't really let go and moved on. So the ex becomes someone to fallback on if things don't work out. Not saying this happens all the time, but will say alot of the time and that is because people don't know how to respect themselves enough to even really know how to care about who they are and this is what keeps people going in a circle of bs and so on. So, your asking yourself. Am i going to find somone thats going to except me and my kid or kids. Thats depends how honest you are with yourself and who you are interested in alot of the time.... |
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I think we need to clarify our terms here. I personally do not believe kids are "horrible." My former in-laws are horrible, "The Facts of Life" reruns are horrible, representative democracy is horrible. Kids are....well, kids. Some may be horrible, probably most are not. Not in my experience, anyway.
But there's a significant difference between "X is horrible" vs. "X doesn't fit in with my life plan." A parallel -- I don't drink, and I won't get involved with anyone who drinks. But I wouldn't say drinking is "horrible" -- short-sighted, maybe; stupid, certainly, but it's legal and accepted in many people's lives and there are some who can function more or less normally despite their alcohol use. I don't want to be with those people, but that doesn't make them "horrible" to me. The term "horrible" would necessarily incorporate an inherent abhorrence of something, to the extent that I would have to find it violently distasteful. That simply is not the case here. Let's call it "undesirable" instead. |
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My best friend who can't have kids and is age 41. Recently posted on Yahoo Singles, welcoming ladies with kids under 5 years old. He doesn't have much time because of work and not into self-esteem issues and makes 6 digit income.
He got 38 responses in one day. He picked 3 possibles out of 38. He is highly selective and a prize for any woman to get. |
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My best friend who can't have kids and is age 41. Recently posted on Yahoo Singles, welcoming ladies with kids under 5 years old. He doesn't have much time because of work and not into self-esteem issues and makes 6 digit income. He got 38 responses in one day. He picked 3 possibles out of 38. He is highly selective and a prize for any woman to get. LOL, good for him then... |
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I've never met a child that was horrible nor do I think any ever are. I work with children almost every day as being a er physician at a childrens hospital.
I think that any guy that judges a woman for having kids is not a man but a complete jerk. I truly believe no matter how many kids she had if he cared for her, Then he would surely except the kids. |
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So, guys, why ARE kids so horrible? 1-800-wrap-it-up |
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That, by the way, is mostly a facetious question. I don't, myself, think kids are horrible at all. I have kids. Indeed, that's why I am posting this. There seems to be an overall freak-out that happens in a man when he finds a woman is a mother; it is quite a reoccurrence in my life, in fact. One that seriously baffles me. I am very interested in opinions from both sides about this, though especially from men, as I can't seem to get a straight answer out of my own male friends. So, guys, why ARE kids so horrible? Many guys can't commit emotionally to kids that aren't their own... As for myself, kids just make me uncomfortable. I'm really not sure why, they just do. |
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Thank you for all your replies. That helps me a lot. I've decided to just be myself and show what I have to offer (which is a lot, at risk of looking snooty), and let him decide if it's worth it to him or not.
In the end, my kids matter more anyway; any man who doesn't want them doesn't get me. Period. Thanks again! |
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I think we need to clarify our terms here. I personally do not believe kids are "horrible." My former in-laws are horrible, "The Facts of Life" reruns are horrible, representative democracy is horrible. Kids are....well, kids. Some may be horrible, probably most are not. Not in my experience, anyway. But there's a significant difference between "X is horrible" vs. "X doesn't fit in with my life plan." A parallel -- I don't drink, and I won't get involved with anyone who drinks. But I wouldn't say drinking is "horrible" -- short-sighted, maybe; stupid, certainly, but it's legal and accepted in many people's lives and there are some who can function more or less normally despite their alcohol use. I don't want to be with those people, but that doesn't make them "horrible" to me. The term "horrible" would necessarily incorporate an inherent abhorrence of something, to the extent that I would have to find it violently distasteful. That simply is not the case here. Let's call it "undesirable" instead.  I don't cjoose to be around alcohol because when I quit drinking I was over 1/2 gal per day. I drank to avoid the wifes' affairs. I reliezed that it was wrong and got rid of her only to find out the kids said I should of got rid of her 15 yrs before.  I don't dance, or go to church, and a few other things. I am just looking for someone that would fit my lifestyle now out in the country. 
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It ain't over yet, Snarky.
I was married, had the privilege of becoming the second adult man in the kid's life. It took every bit of heart and soul to mate with my wife and also be right for her daughter. And I went into it with eyes wide open, knowing that the girl had a life expectancy of three more years, due to congenital liver problems. We fought side-by-side, the three of us, to give more life into less time, knowing the end was in sight. No assumptions about living to ever make it into high school. Eight years later, having her life extended by pure diet and new medicine, she got the liver transplant, and for a few days, that little lady became the 12-year-old without the past...the new liver gave her a snapshot of life without internal chemical imbalances. And then the liver rejected. This is real. Total self-sacrifice might be required the very next day, due to some accident or sickness. I don't know how to say it better, except that this isn't about a guy being a father to your children. It is about you finding the man that fulfills the demands of life. Good luck, and goodwill to your children.  I apologize for blathering all of that. Just let it go. Thanks. |
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120557, I can very much understand that. Everyone has a life they want to live, right?
It ain't over yet, Snarky. I was married, had the privilege of becoming the second adult man in the kid's life. It took every bit of heart and soul to mate with my wife and also be right for her daughter. And I went into it with eyes wide open, knowing that the girl had a life expectancy of three more years, due to congenital liver problems. We fought side-by-side, the three of us, to give more life into less time, knowing the end was in sight. No assumptions about living to ever make it into high school. Eight years later, having her life extended by pure diet and new medicine, she got the liver transplant, and for a few days, that little lady became the 12-year-old without the past...the new liver gave her a snapshot of life without internal chemical imbalances. And then the liver rejected. This is real. Total self-sacrifice might be required the very next day, due to some accident or sickness. I don't know how to say it better, except that this isn't about a guy being a father to your children. It is about you finding the man that fulfills the demands of life. Good luck, and goodwill to your children. I apologize for blathering all of that. Just let it go. Thanks. You are right. It isn't about a dad for my kids... I really hope I have been very obvious about that. They have a dad. He'd be pretty put out to be replaced, too, to put it gently. They need nobody -- I'm the one who would like to be cared for again. It doesn't matter to them weather I'm dating or not, (with the exception, of course, that whoever I'm dating will be a part of their lives; I mean that if I'm alone they won't be hurt by it). It is annoying that so many assume that's what I want, but I suppose the majority rules here and becomes the assumption. I'll accept that, annoying or not. I just have to figure out when is the right time to explain that I'm the minority. That may take some major balance work... It is, however, about finding someone who understands my life; that, too, is very true. Thank-you for putting it that way. It's perfect.  As for your story, it's beautiful. I am sorry for your loss, and applaud you for your heart. Weather or not I ever meet someone special doesn't matter in that scheme of things; you have helped reboost my faith in humanity... and we all need that from time to time, single or not.  Thank-you.
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120557, I can very much understand that. Everyone has a life they want to live, right? Yes they do. Amazing what your kids can explain to you when you don't relize what you are doing. They are smarter than one gives them credit for.  |
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What about a mom who has 5 kids with the same man whom she was married to the entire time? As for wanting a Daddy, I don't. I take care of my childen fine. I pay my bills. I feed and clothe the children. My ex pays child support and helps with expenses besides. I don't want a Daddy for my kids - they have one. Unfortunatley, men seem to automatically assume I do. It's frustrating actually. I want 6 kids Peccy Peccy just had heart failure....lol |
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Why are kids horrible?
Because everytime I want to do it with my wife on a Sunday Afternoon, I have to feed them, entertain them, do their laundry, give them attention, spend time with them, play chess with them, play tennis with them, go to the park with them, finish the rest of the homework with them, explain politics to them, and love them. Forget about drinking and watching a Football game, I am can't even get 20-30 mins in bed time with wife. Kids should be banned from the house. I should show you my ugly kids pictures. |
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Why are kids horrible? Because everytime I want to do it with my wife on a Sunday Afternoon, I have to feed them, entertain them, do their laundry, give them attention, spend time with them, play chess with them, play tennis with them, go to the park with them, finish the rest of the homework with them, explain politics to them, and love them. Forget about drinking and watching a Football game, I am can't even get 20-30 mins in bed time with wife. Kids should be banned from the house. I should show you my ugly kids pictures.  Thanks. I needed that. It's too early! WHY AM I AWAKE? GOD WHYYYYY??? 
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All kids are not horrible, but I have seen some really bad kids. I don't really blame the kids, I blame the parents!! I do have children, I have 2 boys. BUT I have taught my boys to be respectful and I do believe they are good boys. Plus my boys are older, 13 and 20.
I am not looking for someone to take on the responcibility of being a parent for them..they have a dad. I will say one thing, I try to find someone that doesn't have children any younger then my son. I feel like I have just about got my kids raised so why would I want to raise any more? So I do understand where the guys are coming from!! Don't get me wrong...I love kids as long as they mind BUT I don't want any younger kids. Its just a matter of choice, its my choice and thats what I want. I don't have to settle and thats what I want...so I guess everyone has their own points of view!! If a man doesn't like children or even women for that matter...then you don't want to be around them any way. Move on and find someone more suitable for your situation.
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I am sooooo glad my kids are grown. Don't want anymore, but by the same token, if I fell in love with someone who had them, that would be ok.
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Kids aren't horrible, its how they are trained....as a guy though, I don't want to be raising someone else's children.....if the children live full time with the mother i won't even bother to date her, she won't have the time to spend with me....
if they live with mom part-time & she is willing to make the time than I would date her, though, its not usually very workable..... |
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