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Topic: Could you steal another one's love?
Goofball73's photo
Wed 08/06/08 02:33 AM
The situation is this (and this is hypothetical). You are friends with a person. You and this person are close, in fact, you could say you are best friends. Now, this friend of yours is in a relationship, and up until it started to get very serious between the two of them, it didn't bother you. But suddenly, you have these feelings coming on strong, and you realize that you truly love your friend. Moreover, you realize that you are in love with them. But what can you do? Do you dare tell them? Could you steal another one's love? Discuss.

FearandLoathing's photo
Wed 08/06/08 02:35 AM
Nope, against my morals...and I created those from the ground up.happy

LouLou2's photo
Wed 08/06/08 03:19 AM
Edited by LouLou2 on Wed 08/06/08 03:48 AM
No! Under no circumstances.

It's been my policy that friends' lovers are always off-limits...forever...even if the relationship doesn't work out for my friend. Would never risk tromping on a friend's residual feelings for a man. I couldn't do it to someone I didn't know, let alone a friend...and I wouldn't want a man who could be influenced by or 'stolen' by someone while still involved with someone.

oops - I should read more carefully! I couldn't, however, interfere with a friends love for another. If this happened, I guess it would be a case of not 'knowing what you got till it's gone', and I'd accept it as a learning experience. Lovers have come & gone, but some of my friends have hung with me for many years. I wouldn't risk a friendship for a maybe, & I would never undermine another's relationship with my friend.

Some believe they have no control over emotions for or attraction to another. Why?

feistybaby's photo
Wed 08/06/08 03:39 AM
Actually I think this happens a lot more than most people like to admit at least in this scenerio. You have a best friend, someone, that has been in your life for what seems like forever. Then suddenly one day or even not so suddenly they fall in love. And we realize that the person we loved as a friend means more to us than just a friend. I have had this happen. I never said a word to them and probably wouldn't if it happened again either. I wouldn't want to mess up the friendship for one. And for two there is no saying the relationship my friend is in is going to work. So waiting till a time when I can declare my feelings with no guilt works best for me. And me being me I would feel guilty if I intruded on someone else's relationship.


As for taking a friends boyfriend from them. That is never gonna happen I don't poach on other people's loves. ~

kapriano's photo
Wed 08/06/08 03:43 AM
Edited by kapriano on Wed 08/06/08 03:45 AM
WELL TO ANSWER YA QUESTION YES U MUST TEL THEM TO GET IT OUT THE WAY. BUT ON THE OTHER HAND WHEN U EXPLAIN IT TO HER OR HIM YOU MUST ALSO LET THEM KNOW THAT U ARE NOT TRYING TO JEOPARDIZE THE RELATIONSHIP BUT THIS IS HOW U FEEL AND U WANTED THE PERSON TO KNOW THE TRUTH ABOUT IT. BUT IN MY CASE I AM ONE TO SAY YES I CAN STEAL ANOTHER PERSONS LOVE BECAUSE I HAVE DONE IT BEFORE AND IT WASN'T INTENTIONALLY IT WAS JUST THAT I HAD SOMETHING MORE TO OFFER THEN THE DUDE SHE WAS CURRENTLY WITH.

PEOPLE ALSO HAVE TO UNDERSTAND THAT WHEN U LET IT BE KNOWN HOW U FEEL. THINGS BECOME BETTER FOR YOURSELF BUT ON THE OTHER HAND THE PERSON UR TELLING THE FEELINGS TO IS THE ONE THATS GOING TO WORRY AND STRESS BUT U TELL THEM U ARE NOT GIVING THEM AN ULTIMATUM BUT U WANT THEM TO KNOW HOW U FEEL ABOUT THEM....AND COME TO YOUR SURPRISE HE OR SHE FEELS THE SAME WAY AND DIDN'T KNOW HOW TO TELL U...THAT EVER HAPPEN TO YOU?

Britty's photo
Wed 08/06/08 03:56 AM
Edited by Britty on Wed 08/06/08 03:58 AM


No, that would fly in the face of everything I believe in. I just could not see a relationship working, for me, in those circumstances, and would not want to jeopardize a friendship.


s1owhand's photo
Wed 08/06/08 04:00 AM
it is impossible to steal someone's love
if such a love is so weak and tenuous then it really isn't there
love can only be offered or it does not exist

if you truly love then there is no question for you
there is a question for them.

do they love you in return?


120557's photo
Wed 08/06/08 04:23 AM
No. Besides, whats to say that it wont happen to you next?

sparkleplenty424's photo
Wed 08/06/08 04:58 AM

No. Besides, whats to say that it wont happen to you next?
what won't happen to you next?

I am confused.

Goofball73's photo
Wed 08/06/08 06:17 AM
I agree with Feisty in that I also feel that this happens alot more than we know. But most people won't act on it due to (A) fear of hurting the friendship and (B) they figure that they missed their shot and they don't want to be the cause of a breakup. It really place one in a moral dilemma. And, if I were in this spot, I don't feel that I could do it, no matter if I felt I was in love. If she were in love with another man, and they had a strong relationship, then how could I in good conscience do it? Personally, I couldn't.

BlueskyJ's photo
Wed 08/06/08 06:27 AM
But what can you do? Do you dare tell them? Could you steal another one's love? Discuss.

You can do many things, but none of them should be to interfere with their relationship, so I wouldn't tell them anything about your feelings....It is morally wrong & would say volumes about who you are as a person....

As for stealing another one's love? I guess in a way that could happen especially since a love is still developing....The things you say & do could confuse either one of the couple who are developing a relationship....I have seen good friends say the wrong things that have led to breakups....we should be careful with our words & actions....emotions are a tender....

Lily0923's photo
Wed 08/06/08 06:30 AM
hahahahahahaha, well let me tell you a little bit about that.

No, you stay out of the way, you had your chance, and if it were meant to be, it eventually will be. What good can possibly come of telling someone that when they are in the midst of a relationship?? NONE I TELL YA. You are only setting yourself up for heartbreak, and possibly losing a friendship.

jtitol's photo
Wed 08/06/08 07:09 AM
Edited by jtitol on Wed 08/06/08 07:11 AM
if is not bolted 2 the ground its mine
ething goes in the luv wars

Goofball73's photo
Wed 08/06/08 07:33 AM

hahahahahahaha, well let me tell you a little bit about that.

No, you stay out of the way, you had your chance, and if it were meant to be, it eventually will be. What good can possibly come of telling someone that when they are in the midst of a relationship?? NONE I TELL YA. You are only setting yourself up for heartbreak, and possibly losing a friendship.


So you are waiting for me then huh?:wink: bigsmile laugh

Lily0923's photo
Wed 08/06/08 07:35 AM


hahahahahahaha, well let me tell you a little bit about that.

No, you stay out of the way, you had your chance, and if it were meant to be, it eventually will be. What good can possibly come of telling someone that when they are in the midst of a relationship?? NONE I TELL YA. You are only setting yourself up for heartbreak, and possibly losing a friendship.


So you are waiting for me then huh?:wink: bigsmile laugh


you know it sugar pop, but won't mom be pissed when she comes in and sees us in the same bunk bed??? laugh laugh laugh BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHA....

Goofball73's photo
Wed 08/06/08 07:37 AM



hahahahahahaha, well let me tell you a little bit about that.

No, you stay out of the way, you had your chance, and if it were meant to be, it eventually will be. What good can possibly come of telling someone that when they are in the midst of a relationship?? NONE I TELL YA. You are only setting yourself up for heartbreak, and possibly losing a friendship.


So you are waiting for me then huh?:wink: bigsmile laugh


you know it sugar pop, but won't mom be pissed when she comes in and sees us in the same bunk bed??? laugh laugh laugh BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHA....


I think she would have us committed.laugh laugh laugh

jtitol's photo
Wed 08/06/08 07:39 AM

if is not bolted 2 the ground its mine
ething goes in the luv wars
drinker drinker smokin smokin

Ruth34611's photo
Wed 08/06/08 10:41 AM
If you were friends before and didn't realize how much you cared for them until they met someone else than something else is at play. You are probably just jealous of the attention they are now paying to someone else.....someone else has become more important than you. If you tried to interefere and break it up, you'd most likely end up regretting up. And, if you really love this person and they are happy than you will put them first and stay out of it.

Ruth34611's photo
Wed 08/06/08 10:44 AM
Real love is about self sacrifice, not self indulgence and instant gratification.

SVImager's photo
Wed 08/06/08 11:12 AM
It is as simple as Supply & Demand of economics. (which reflects the human condition).

When it is plentiful, there is less demand.
When there is a lack, there is high demand.

The key is to know, what it is.
"Your Heart can betray you."

Do you make decisions base on emotions or your brain?
If you were with "friend"... you were just friends and you didn't feel escalating to something more... which means that is all it can be.

But when the scarcity set in, you have the need to be with her.. than it is the emotion of lacking setting in.

A superior man has to maintain his emotions and believe his mind when it says she wasn't the right girl and be happy for her when she is happy and in love, even if it is someone else.

Don't fall for the Hollywood Brainwashing/Programming that Love at first sight... that's emotion taking control over, no knowledge of what the person is actually like.

So... I didn't answer your question.
I guess Love is an act and sharing of time.
You can Love anybody... your brain has to decide who is right for you.

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