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| Topic: Secret Bank Accounts ! | |
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My friend at work has a Bank Account that he's been hiding from his wife for over 10 years. The account has over $50.000 in it, and he knows she will blow thru it if she knew. He made this money by doing side work as a mechanic, and gambling and has saved it for years. Does he have a right to have something for himself ? I think he has the right to have it, but hiding it is wrong. |
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Ohh I did read the whole thread but still when it comes to secrets such as money when your married and you feel the need you must hide it from the other. Then there is something wrong with that picture. Myself when I was married the whole time we had separate checking accounts. His was also the Business which was used for his Business and certain bills at the house.ect.. I used mine in the same manor for I paid certain bills with my checks. It was never and issue how much was in either account or what each other spent or what it was on. I don't believe that anyone should be on a per-say allowance. But now we did not buy anything big without disscussing it first. ohh shsh yess he did he came home one day and told me he bought a Horse lmao hummm But still money is just not something two people should feel the need to hide it from the other if they are actually building a nest egg for the future. Now most do have things in life they have not told that was in the past. That is different but when it comes to money that is something that two should fully aggree upon and should participate in helping build that fund. Heck all you have to do is make a pack and have it fixed at the bank that the money can not be taken out unless both sign for it in person. That way it keeps the other one honest if that is needed. Then perhaps you're just not fit for marriage ( No Offense ). But, this man saved $50.000 dollars over a 10 year spand. Do the math, its about $2500.00 a year, some people spend that much at starbucks, some people make that much picking up bottles and cans. He works and uses that money to care for his family, this is just money he picks up on the side as a mechanic, fixing cars for friends and co-workers. A tune-up here, a brake job there,. adds up. Some of these women are just to selfish, and would suck the life out of a guy before his time ! people are selfish not just women! You're outlook is very dismal to say the least, keep in mind what goes around comes around. good luck to you (and your friend) 
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What makes him think she wouldn't understand if he just told her that he was going to take those earnings and put them away? Is he assuming they are going to get divorced? Why is he so untrusting of his own wife? Sounds like they have troubles to me. 
If I found out my husband was stashing money, it would tell me a lot about his vision of our relationship. 
Well stated! |
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My future husband can do whatever he wants with ALL of his money. I am not his keeper, nor his banker. I would only marry someone who's man enough and responsible enough to see that family needs are being met through BOTH our efforts prior to stashing funds away anyhow. There would be no need to hide it from me, and I would have no desire to hide my own savings account, if I choose to keep one. If we did not have, at the very least, that much respect and trust for one another, I don't think I'd feel we had much of a marriage.
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My friend at work has a Bank Account that he's been hiding from his wife for over 10 years. The account has over $50.000 in it, and he knows she will blow thru it if she knew. He made this money by doing side work as a mechanic, and gambling and has saved it for years. Does he have a right to have something for himself ? he may have the right but I am sure this is not the only secret he has 
Everybody has Secrets ! everyone has things they don't share about themselves but hiding money is a big thing in a marriage I agree. My ex hid and stashed money for a year before he told me he wanted a divorce. And I'll be lucky if I ever see any of it. And the money was not the only secret he was keeping! 
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My friend at work has a Bank Account that he's been hiding from his wife for over 10 years. The account has over $50.000 in it, and he knows she will blow thru it if she knew. He made this money by doing side work as a mechanic, and gambling and has saved it for years. Does he have a right to have something for himself ? he may have the right but I am sure this is not the only secret he has
Everybody has Secrets ! everyone has things they don't share about themselves but hiding money is a big thing in a marriage I agree. My ex hid and stashed money for a year before he told me he wanted a divorce. And I'll be lucky if I ever see any of it. And the money was not the only secret he was keeping!
After reading this thread every man here must be horrified. I don't know which is worst, your insecure pre-conceptions of men, or your leftover grief from your past relationship. Which ever it is get rid of it, and I mean NOW ! |
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After reading this thread every man here must be horrified. I don't know which is worst, your insecure pre-conceptions of men, or your leftover grief from your past relationship. Which ever it is get rid of it, and I mean NOW !  now I get it... you are ok and want validation for these actions (your friend) has taken, but when other's dont agree you take the defensive role it's always someone else's fault yet you speak for all men
now I get it 
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After reading this thread every man here must be horrified. I don't know which is worst, your insecure pre-conceptions of men, or your leftover grief from your past relationship. Which ever it is get rid of it, and I mean NOW ! now I get it... you are ok and want validation for these actions (your friend) has taken, but when other's dont agree you take the defensive role it's always someone else's fault yet you speak for all men
now I get it
It's not an issue of fault, but judgement ! It's mostly women that are connecting this to past relationships was happens in most case regardless the situation. I'm just dealing it back to them. |
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After reading this thread every man here must be horrified. I don't know which is worst, your insecure pre-conceptions of men, or your leftover grief from your past relationship. Which ever it is get rid of it, and I mean NOW ! now I get it... you are ok and want validation for these actions (your friend) has taken, but when other's dont agree you take the defensive role it's always someone else's fault yet you speak for all men
now I get it
It's not an issue of fault, but judgement ! It's mostly women that are connecting this to past relationships was happens in most case regardless the situation. I'm just dealing it back to them. read entire post, while some were passing judgment most were expressing opinion in which you expressed not to nice responses... not tit for tat, but rather take time and explain (jmo)
good luck 
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Edited by
CircuitRider
on
Wed 07/23/08 01:50 PM
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I just know I had some hid back... Our car broke down, bad!!
The same time, my Wife found she had Terminal Ca. I had just enough put back to buy a nice, comfortable ride with killer A/C, to take her for Chemo treatments, Dr Appts. (Was Summer, We lived in Central FL.) Never been sorry that I had it hid, or what I spent it on.
She never said anything... |
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My friend at work has a Bank Account that he's been hiding from his wife for over 10 years. The account has over $50.000 in it, and he knows she will blow thru it if she knew. He made this money by doing side work as a mechanic, and gambling and has saved it for years. Does he have a right to have something for himself ? A right? Sure. Is it good for the relationship .. no way. Sounds like they are reaaaaaaaaaaallllyyy close. LMAO 
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I would be hurt but also know that its his money. That is one thing all my ex's can vouch for. I am not one to spend money. I pinch pennies..life has made me that way.
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I just know I had some hid back... Our car broke down, bad!! The same time, my Wife found she had Terminal Ca. I had just enough put back to buy a nice, comfortable ride with killer A/C, to take her for Chemo treatments, Dr Appts. (Was Summer, We lived in Central FL.) Never been sorry that I had it hid, or what I spent it on.
She never said anything... This is my point exactly ! Should an emergency occur, which is beyond their resources, he has this money. Are you reading the tale-spin these gals are in over this ! |
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I just know I had some hid back... Our car broke down, bad!! The same time, my Wife found she had Terminal Ca. I had just enough put back to buy a nice, comfortable ride with killer A/C, to take her for Chemo treatments, Dr Appts. (Was Summer, We lived in Central FL.) Never been sorry that I had it hid, or what I spent it on.
She never said anything... This is my point exactly ! Should an emergency occur, which is beyond their resources, he has this money. Are you reading the tale-spin these gals are in over this ! Hey be fair..NOt all women are in a tailspin..LOL |
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i feel the same about separate accounts. everyone that I know has those. but they also dont have trust issues.
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My friend at work has a Bank Account that he's been hiding from his wife for over 10 years. The account has over $50.000 in it, and he knows she will blow thru it if she knew. He made this money by doing side work as a mechanic, and gambling and has saved it for years. Does he have a right to have something for himself ? A right? Sure. Is it good for the relationship .. no way. Sounds like they are reaaaaaaaaaaallllyyy close. LMAO
At this point he's damned if he do, and damned if he don't, so don't say nothing. |
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not so smart for letting you know, was he???
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I just know I had some hid back... Our car broke down, bad!! The same time, my Wife found she had Terminal Ca. I had just enough put back to buy a nice, comfortable ride with killer A/C, to take her for Chemo treatments, Dr Appts. (Was Summer, We lived in Central FL.) Never been sorry that I had it hid, or what I spent it on.
She never said anything... This is my point exactly ! Should an emergency occur, which is beyond their resources, he has this money. Are you reading the tale-spin these gals are in over this ! you are truly funny someone done did a # on ya huh?
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Edited by
CircuitRider
on
Wed 07/23/08 02:05 PM
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My friend at work has a Bank Account that he's been hiding from his wife for over 10 years. The account has over $50.000 in it, and he knows she will blow thru it if she knew. He made this money by doing side work as a mechanic, and gambling and has saved it for years. Does he have a right to have something for himself ? You didn't say if his wife was a 'Loose-spender'... Could make a difference if She was the 'Thrifty-type'... |
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not so smart for letting you know, was he???
Stop blasting ! |
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