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| Topic: Putting all your eggs in one basket... | |
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It's all about taking chances with relationships...it doesn't matter if it's the guy next door or the guy 2000 miles away. And even if/when you live with someone people grow and change and what works one day may be broken the next. Love is a gamble. Oh you can stack the deck by communicating so you have a better idea of who someone is. But I still say that this requires the commitment of the very least giving that one person your full attention. DESTINY!!! If I were on the other team.....  
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Also...you said "putting all your eggs in one basket" as if you shold not fully give yourself to one person...how would you even expect something to work if you do not committ to it? If you are not willing to give a relationship your all..why bother trying a monogamous relationship? I would say you are still in dating mode. All my eggs (LOVE) goes to ONE man and one man only! Then, if it does not work out...I can say I gave it my all! I don't when it comes to meeting somone off the net. There is not enough time to say yeah or nay. not everyone is the same as ther are on the net and most will agree with this. So why would i committ to somone when we never met? wast of my and ther time when you realy don't know them. This is just my opinion. Even when i moved out here to be with my ex. I didn't give all of who i am because we didn't know each other. Yes i spent months on the net and did the cam thing and all that. But once again. You will never know anyone untill you actually live with them. And you know what they say about opinions Mike. Everybodies got em and they all... The thing is, sometimes you don't know them when you live with them either. I believe I've gotten to know the woman who is coming to NY as well as I've known any woman EVER IN MY LIFE (including two live in girlfriends) with the exception of my ex-wife. We've been talking for 7 months. I'd say hundreds possibly thousands of hours spent talking, texting, and writing. BOTTOM LINE, IT IS ALWAYS A GAMBLE WHEN YOU PLACE YOUR HEART IN SOMEONE ELSE'S POSSESSION. Either you are willing to take a leap of faith or not. It sounds to me like you were burned and now shake your head at those willing to do so. Well excuse me while I silently chuckle at you and follow my heart. If it leeads me to grief so be it. At least I'm willing to take the chance. Do you know why i haven't relpied to any of your post untill now? Ill tell you. i'm not mad, sad , upset, unhappy, ect ect. Why is that? because this is just a topic and some people read into things way to much. it's realy not that big of a deal for anyone to express there selves. it's when people make it more then it actually is, where things go wrong. do me a fave and step back for a min and look at the over all picture. Who is mad here? no one, why because we all have are own opinoin and there is nothing wrong with it. was i burnd, no i wasn't to be honest. I felt i was but when i took a look back. I did this to me no matter what she did. So there for. it was a growing expreience. So, as the thread goes on. i will reply and if your not happy with what your reading, it's ok. But know this. I'm just sharing here and thats all 
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It's all about taking chances with relationships...it doesn't matter if it's the guy next door or the guy 2000 miles away. And even if/when you live with someone people grow and change and what works one day may be broken the next. Love is a gamble. Oh you can stack the deck by communicating so you have a better idea of who someone is. But I still say that this requires the commitment of the very least giving that one person your full attention. DESTINY!!! If I were on the other team.....
lol...if you were on the other team I'd propose 
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as it should be Mike!
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I welcome this thread. As someone embarking on this journey, I really do. I welcome the positive thoughts as much as the not so positive thoughts. And for once it is a thread that is expressed without any attacks and that is refreshing. It should make us all look at things with eyes, hearts and minds wide open.
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It's all about taking chances with relationships...it doesn't matter if it's the guy next door or the guy 2000 miles away. And even if/when you live with someone people grow and change and what works one day may be broken the next. Love is a gamble. Oh you can stack the deck by communicating so you have a better idea of who someone is. But I still say that this requires the commitment of the very least giving that one person your full attention. DESTINY!!! If I were on the other team.....
lol...if you were on the other team I'd propose
 YOU my dear are a wise wise woman. Some man will be thrilled to find you! 
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I am stil unclear on what you are trying to say?
People who meet online should not give love to one person until they move in and get to know one another? People should not date online? People should live together first, then date? People should forget love altogether??? 
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I welcome this thread. As someone embarking on this journey, I really do. I welcome the positive thoughts as much as the not so positive thoughts. And for once it is a thread that is expressed without any attacks and that is refreshing. It should make us all look at things with eyes, hearts and minds wide open. Maybe it will catch-back-on,,,lol,lol,Real is just so cool to feel! |
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We could make bumper stickers!!!
REAL IS GOOD TO FEEL!
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I welcome this thread. As someone embarking on this journey, I really do. I welcome the positive thoughts as much as the not so positive thoughts. And for once it is a thread that is expressed without any attacks and that is refreshing. It should make us all look at things with eyes, hearts and minds wide open. Maybe it will catch-back-on,,,lol,lol,Real is just so cool to feel! I'd say the rofl smilies used in the OP were meant to mock those of us that are currently in the midst of internet about to become reality romance. Maybe I'm sensitive but I see not so positive innuendo there. JMO |
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I don't know you all yet.....but here's a question related to all this. Can you really LOVE someone you have never met in person? I'm not speaking to anyone's relationship in this forum. Just being curious about your thoughts. I've been there and done that when it comes to internet relationships and it didn't end well, so I'm sure my viewpoint is jaded.
Is it really possible to be IN LOVE with a person you have never physically met? |
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But Mitch...this is a dating site. Of course there will be people finding love here and making it reality, no?
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But Mitch...this is a dating site. Of course there will be people finding love here and making it reality, no? 
Oh yeah |
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But Mitch...this is a dating site. Of course there will be people finding love here and making it reality, no?
Oh yeah
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I don't know you all yet.....but here's a question related to all this. Can you really LOVE someone you have never met in person? I'm not speaking to anyone's relationship in this forum. Just being curious about your thoughts. I've been there and done that when it comes to internet relationships and it didn't end well, so I'm sure my viewpoint is jaded. Is it really possible to be IN LOVE with a person you have never physically met? If you would've asked me that about 7 months ago, I'd have told you to put down the crackpipe, but now I not only am a believer, I am in love. |
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No such thing as a perfect partner. Actually , I think months of discussing things long distance...little things like daily routines, likes dislikes, and such...gives you a lot better idea of who you are dealing with than meeting someone in person at a bar...and moving in a week later! And if you don't mean move in with them...how will you find out how they are until you do??? YOu will have to talk, right? Can do that long distance. I agree, but there are many other places besides bars  I'm in a little town and to some, it's really hard to meet people even if there in a small town. For me it's not. A hello and a little smile can go along ways.
Ok Shadow...tell me how talking to someone in person is any different than talking to someone on phone and web cam for months...can they not lie to you...or put up a false pretense of who they are when you talk to them in person? When you first live with someone, isn't it all new...no matter how you met them? What is the difference...I think I am not understanding you completly. To me it would seem it is the time you spend talking and sharing stuff about yourself...not HOW you do this? I am very happy for you Angel and Peccy and also for connie and her match. BUT .. there is a HUGE difference between even camming and in person. Because you have not seen them interact with other people .. and to me this is huge. I don't know his mannerisms and quirks. I don't see him respond to servers in a restaurant. Or whether he freaks out at close neighbors or my convos on the phone with family & friends that he's never heard before. Or whether he chews his food with his mouth open. He doesn't see how I interact with my children. Or clean my kitchen .. yada yada I think Shadow makes a very valid point. No one is trying to rain on anything .. but just to share their point of view re: reality check. It's a wonderful thing .. this online dating but I've met so many people I had chatted with for months and then found them to not be exactly what I thought. And it WAS things that mattered to me. Just be open is all ... open to being happy or being disappointed. 
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I don't know you all yet.....but here's a question related to all this. Can you really LOVE someone you have never met in person? I'm not speaking to anyone's relationship in this forum. Just being curious about your thoughts. I've been there and done that when it comes to internet relationships and it didn't end well, so I'm sure my viewpoint is jaded. Is it really possible to be IN LOVE with a person you have never physically met? I believe anything is possible. |
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I think there are a fair few who are so willing to blame "internet dating" as the culprit for when things go wrong.Relationships go wrong whether it is between two people who have "dated" on the internet or two people who have met in a pub! We all need to look within ourselves when embarking on any relationship and ask ourselves a number of questions, do we know who we are, are we comfortable with who we are, are we willing to accept the other person for who they are. After all there must have been some sort of spark that attracted us to that person in the first place.Are we grownup or strong enough to accept the responsibility of caring for another person's heart and emotions?
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I don't know you all yet.....but here's a question related to all this. Can you really LOVE someone you have never met in person? I'm not speaking to anyone's relationship in this forum. Just being curious about your thoughts. I've been there and done that when it comes to internet relationships and it didn't end well, so I'm sure my viewpoint is jaded. Is it really possible to be IN LOVE with a person you have never physically met? Hi HEATHER...glad you jumped in!
That does seem to be the debate. There are those of us that have felt or feel it to be so, and some who haven't that can't quite get it. I personally feel, and I usually try to stay away from this but...I fall in love with the person...the soul, the mind the heart..the heart/soul connection. I won't kid you that there has to be a physical chemistry for men and for women, of course. But I do think that in getting to know someone, that you can love them...have very deep feelings for them...and it lays a wonderful groundwork for what happens next. |
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HUGS JUDY!!!!!
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