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| Topic: Putting all your eggs in one basket... | |
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No such thing as a perfect partner. Actually , I think months of discussing things long distance...little things like daily routines, likes dislikes, and such...gives you a lot better idea of who you are dealing with than meeting someone in person at a bar...and moving in a week later! And if you don't mean move in with them...how will you find out how they are until you do??? YOu will have to talk, right? Can do that long distance. I agree, but there are many other places besides bars  I'm in a little town and to some, it's really hard to meet people even if there in a small town. For me it's not. A hello and a little smile can go along ways.
Ok Shadow...tell me how talking to someone in person is any different than talking to someone on phone and web cam for months...can they not lie to you...or put up a false pretense of who they are when you talk to them in person? When you first live with someone, isn't it all new...no matter how you met them? What is the difference...I think I am not understanding you completly. To me it would seem it is the time you spend talking and sharing stuff about yourself...not HOW you do this? Ok, i play with this 
Body tone, facial expressions, etc etc time spnt actually with them. not seeing them on there seet in one place all the time. Think about this. you see them only there. You really don't know who there living with or who there friends are etc etc. Once again, you only see them sitting in there seet liiking in a cam. HMMMMMM. Spending time with somone that lives near you is a whole new world then looking at somone on a cam. Anyone can lie but seeing there actions shows alot more the phons calls, cam, texting, what ever... |
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No such thing as a perfect partner. Actually , I think months of discussing things long distance...little things like daily routines, likes dislikes, and such...gives you a lot better idea of who you are dealing with than meeting someone in person at a bar...and moving in a week later! And if you don't mean move in with them...how will you find out how they are until you do??? YOu will have to talk, right? Can do that long distance. I agree, but there are many other places besides bars I'm in a little town and to some, it's really hard to meet people even if there in a small town. For me it's not. A hello and a little smile can go along ways.
Do you currently live in the same town you grew up in, Shadow? If not, then trust me, it's more difficult to meet someone in that situation because everyone knows everyone, and things that happened when you were a kid can come back to haunt you. No i grew up in Cali up until last year. Trust me, i know how hard it is being in a big city. |
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No such thing as a perfect partner. Actually , I think months of discussing things long distance...little things like daily routines, likes dislikes, and such...gives you a lot better idea of who you are dealing with than meeting someone in person at a bar...and moving in a week later! And if you don't mean move in with them...how will you find out how they are until you do??? YOu will have to talk, right? Can do that long distance. I agree, but there are many other places besides bars I'm in a little town and to some, it's really hard to meet people even if there in a small town. For me it's not. A hello and a little smile can go along ways.
Ok Shadow...tell me how talking to someone in person is any different than talking to someone on phone and web cam for months...can they not lie to you...or put up a false pretense of who they are when you talk to them in person? When you first live with someone, isn't it all new...no matter how you met them? What is the difference...I think I am not understanding you completly. To me it would seem it is the time you spend talking and sharing stuff about yourself...not HOW you do this? Ok, i play with this
Body tone, facial expressions, etc etc time spnt actually with them. not seeing them on there seet in one place all the time. Think about this. you see them only there. You really don't know who there living with or who there friends are etc etc. Once again, you only see them sitting in there seet liiking in a cam. HMMMMMM. Spending time with somone that lives near you is a whole new world then looking at somone on a cam. Anyone can lie but seeing there actions shows alot more the phons calls, cam, texting, what ever... BOdy tone, facila expressions etc all seen on cam...not close cam...I see Peccy get up ..walk around...cook...Peccy has seen me dirty with my face mask and protector glasses after coming in from working with fiberglass...he has seen me hair wet from shower no makup...he has seen me in morning with bedhead! I have seen him eat...not always a pretty site HA! I've seen his scars...he has seen my messy office...we certainly know each other are not living with anyone (cept i am with my daughter) Because we not only have cell phone numbers but house phone numbers and addreses as well. |
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I agree Mike....face to face interaction is vital. But I've had people lie to me that lived Right here. It's tough. But I do think that logging hours and hours and months and months helps lay the ground work for the meeting to go off without a hitch.
You said in your opening post that ONLY when you live with someone can you really know them. I Never lived with my husband before we got married/dated him 2.5 yrs and it lasted. 
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Sounds like someone had a bad experience.... 
Not everyone's experiences are the same Mike. You need to keep that in mind before you pee on the daisies. Now now, this is just a topic. Just wanted to bring it up and if there sucure about themselves and there relationship. Then this shouldn't be a bother, Should it? |
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Is never a good idea. You never know anyone until you live with them. Then! and only then, you will really start to see somewhat of who they are. It's nice to see how couples are getting together, but spending time on the net does not count for actually getting to know someone. Ok, i'm ready to hear it 
had to add this  I'm talking about meeting people off the net. Not where you can see them everyday if you want.
I feel the very same as you and have preached about THIS,wink,,,lol,in some posts.. It could be something as simple as clearing ones throat,,but IF THAT bothers you MORE and MORE each day,,its SOMETHING to have to deal with and could TURN your thoughts of them from l;ove and desire to wanting to just NOT be in their presents,wink,lol.. And THAT has happen here with a few and we have talked about their experiences,and thats how I know this. Plus, DON'T kid yourself if anyone DON'T feel YOU in person,,there is NOTHING to go-on-with! If A PERSON is NOT GOOD IN BED,,,sometimes,,THATS the breaker of heart!! Wink... Good post man... |
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Also...you said "putting all your eggs in one basket" as if you shold not fully give yourself to one person...how would you even expect something to work if you do not committ to it? If you are not willing to give a relationship your all..why bother trying a monogamous relationship? I would say you are still in dating mode.
All my eggs (LOVE) goes to ONE man and one man only! Then, if it does not work out...I can say I gave it my all! |
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WEll I for one don't base my love that I give on whether he clears his throat or is GREAT in bed
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No such thing as a perfect partner. Actually , I think months of discussing things long distance...little things like daily routines, likes dislikes, and such...gives you a lot better idea of who you are dealing with than meeting someone in person at a bar...and moving in a week later! And if you don't mean move in with them...how will you find out how they are until you do??? YOu will have to talk, right? Can do that long distance. I agree, but there are many other places besides bars I'm in a little town and to some, it's really hard to meet people even if there in a small town. For me it's not. A hello and a little smile can go along ways.
Ok Shadow...tell me how talking to someone in person is any different than talking to someone on phone and web cam for months...can they not lie to you...or put up a false pretense of who they are when you talk to them in person? When you first live with someone, isn't it all new...no matter how you met them? What is the difference...I think I am not understanding you completly. To me it would seem it is the time you spend talking and sharing stuff about yourself...not HOW you do this? Ok, i play with this
Body tone, facial expressions, etc etc time spnt actually with them. not seeing them on there seet in one place all the time. Think about this. you see them only there. You really don't know who there living with or who there friends are etc etc. Once again, you only see them sitting in there seet liiking in a cam. HMMMMMM. Spending time with somone that lives near you is a whole new world then looking at somone on a cam. Anyone can lie but seeing there actions shows alot more the phons calls, cam, texting, what ever... BOdy tone, facila expressions etc all seen on cam...not close cam...I see Peccy get up ..walk around...cook...Peccy has seen me dirty with my face mask and protector glasses after coming in from working with fiberglass...he has seen me hair wet from shower no makup...he has seen me in morning with bedhead! I have seen him eat...not always a pretty site HA! I've seen his scars...he has seen my messy office...we certainly know each other are not living with anyone (cept i am with my daughter) Because we not only have cell phone numbers but house phone numbers and addreses as well. Ok, have a question. Why is it so importunate to express how real it is. If this is just a simple topic. One that is asure of oneself. Needs not to express oneself. Does peccy? I think not.... Don't take this to serious, it's just a question
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I agree with you angel. The hours of talking and talking about things from the spiritual, to the mundane make you really get to know a person. When you log 6-8 hours a night for months, it is probably MORE talking and getting to know than you would if you WERE in person. Exactly, which is what Ross and I have done. We have talked and laughed about everything under the sun, email, IM's, and phone, and he is flying up in about 2 weeks. But what really makes it unique, is the fact that our lives, history, families, likes and dislikes, are so much the same it's almost bizzare, and neither one of us is prone to exaggeration or the "infatuation" deal. There are very few times in this life when you meet someone who as soon as you start getting to know them, you feel as if you've known them forever, everything is so easy and comfortable, and just feels right, and if you're lucky enough to find that, then you owe it to yourself and the other person to give it all your attention to make it the best that it can be. Don't get me wrong, of course there is the chance of things crashing, or not being what they seem "online", but there are the ones that are really just meant to be.
First CONGRATS to you! Secondly...you are so right...it could "CRASH" just as easily if he lived down the street and we ate out once a week at the local diner. Probably quicker! I do know a tremendous amount of what makes Peccy tick...and vice versa already before we even meet. I must say ,what amazes me is the negativety...... not just from the OP....but from others in general...just because Your not happy ...I shouldnt be???..............WTF???? feels like jr. high all over again |
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Ok here I go playing devil's advocate but I think it really depends on the people involved. Some people can fall head over heels in love without meeting first, the heart doesn't lie only people lie~ And sometimes you just know it's right just like sometimes you just know it's wrong before you ever even meet face to face. As for putting your eggs all in one basket...Let me ask this...how can you truly say you are interested in someone if you aren't putting the time into getting to know them? And you can't be putting all that much time into it if you are busy spreading yourself around.
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WEll I for one don't base my love that I give on whether he clears his throat or is GREAT in bed Me either...the whole package is way more important. But, I doubt the bedroom part will be an issue...as i am HOT as heck in bed and I gots a sneaky suspicion Peccy is as well HA!   
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Ok here I go playing devil's advocate but I think it really depends on the people involved. Some people can fall head over heels in love without meeting first, the heart doesn't lie only people lie~ And sometimes you just know it's right just like sometimes you just know it's wrong before you ever even meet face to face. As for putting your eggs all in one basket...Let me ask this...how can you truly say you are interested in someone if you aren't putting the time into getting to know them? And you can't be putting all that much time into it if you are busy spreading yourself around. CHING Destiny you win the prize!!!!
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WEll I for one don't base my love that I give on whether he clears his throat or is GREAT in bed Me either...the whole package is way more important. But, I doubt the bedroom part will be an issue...as i am HOT as heck in bed and I gots a sneaky suspicion Peccy is as well HA!
Well I didn't mean to infer that will be a problem for me either....but a throat clearing or leaving the toilet seat up/down sideways, isn't gonna make me toss him out and if it does....then I've got some priorities to work on.
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Edited by
lilangel2
on
Sun 07/20/08 06:35 PM
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No such thing as a perfect partner. Actually , I think months of discussing things long distance...little things like daily routines, likes dislikes, and such...gives you a lot better idea of who you are dealing with than meeting someone in person at a bar...and moving in a week later! And if you don't mean move in with them...how will you find out how they are until you do??? YOu will have to talk, right? Can do that long distance. I agree, but there are many other places besides bars I'm in a little town and to some, it's really hard to meet people even if there in a small town. For me it's not. A hello and a little smile can go along ways.
Ok Shadow...tell me how talking to someone in person is any different than talking to someone on phone and web cam for months...can they not lie to you...or put up a false pretense of who they are when you talk to them in person? When you first live with someone, isn't it all new...no matter how you met them? What is the difference...I think I am not understanding you completly. To me it would seem it is the time you spend talking and sharing stuff about yourself...not HOW you do this? Ok, i play with this
Body tone, facial expressions, etc etc time spnt actually with them. not seeing them on there seet in one place all the time. Think about this. you see them only there. You really don't know who there living with or who there friends are etc etc. Once again, you only see them sitting in there seet liiking in a cam. HMMMMMM. Spending time with somone that lives near you is a whole new world then looking at somone on a cam. Anyone can lie but seeing there actions shows alot more the phons calls, cam, texting, what ever... BOdy tone, facila expressions etc all seen on cam...not close cam...I see Peccy get up ..walk around...cook...Peccy has seen me dirty with my face mask and protector glasses after coming in from working with fiberglass...he has seen me hair wet from shower no makup...he has seen me in morning with bedhead! I have seen him eat...not always a pretty site HA! I've seen his scars...he has seen my messy office...we certainly know each other are not living with anyone (cept i am with my daughter) Because we not only have cell phone numbers but house phone numbers and addreses as well. Ok, have a question. Why is it so importunate to express how real it is. If this is just a simple topic. One that is asure of oneself. Needs not to express oneself. Does peccy? I think not.... Don't take this to serious, it's just a question
Well Shadow...how else to present another side to your topic than to show people another point of view...isnt that what topics are about? Or not?
And do take it serious ...my answer
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Sounds like someone had a bad experience....
Not everyone's experiences are the same Mike. You need to keep that in mind before you pee on the daisies. Now now, this is just a topic. Just wanted to bring it up and if there sucure about themselves and there relationship. Then this shouldn't be a bother, Should it? We can all feel the love here, even with the boxing gloves on, lol. 
Seriously though, I can also see what you are saying, and for the most part, the majority of the time, yes, it's true.
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Also...you said "putting all your eggs in one basket" as if you shold not fully give yourself to one person...how would you even expect something to work if you do not committ to it? If you are not willing to give a relationship your all..why bother trying a monogamous relationship? I would say you are still in dating mode. All my eggs (LOVE) goes to ONE man and one man only! Then, if it does not work out...I can say I gave it my all! I don't when it comes to meeting somone off the net. There is not enough time to say yeah or nay. not everyone is the same as ther are on the net and most will agree with this. So why would i committ to somone when we never met? wast of my and ther time when you realy don't know them. This is just my opinion. Even when i moved out here to be with my ex. I didn't give all of who i am because we didn't know each other. Yes i spent months on the net and did the cam thing and all that. But once again. You will never know anyone untill you actually live with them. |
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I agree Mike....face to face interaction is vital. But I've had people lie to me that lived Right here. It's tough. But I do think that logging hours and hours and months and months helps lay the ground work for the meeting to go off without a hitch. You said in your opening post that ONLY when you live with someone can you really know them. I Never lived with my husband before we got married/dated him 2.5 yrs and it lasted.
I say somwhat when you live with them
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WEll I for one don't base my love that I give on whether he clears his throat or is GREAT in bed You mean that if YOU met a guy in person that YOU had been writting on here for a year,ok..NOW,,when YOU meet him he like snarles and grawls every five minutes and it just a habit he has but he does it w/o any presents of him doing it..and then you find that he is the ROUGHFEST HARD banging unkind LOVER OU ever could imagine,,,NOW,,,with THIS being what I was suggesting ,,,YOUR going to have the SAME RESPONSE to your first answer? Just keeping it real here,wink...lol |
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So you moved without "giving your all and knowing each other" ?
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