foxy call your local social services aka welfare department. they
usually have a safe haven for the victim as well as any kids she may
have. in most cases they are in another town. there you will all have
food, shelter and a chance to talk out your problems with others in the
same situation, if you so desire. they will also help you to get
settled, employment a place of your own, and the other things you may
need to make it on your own. PLEASE do it right away.

think about your children, you have wonderfull and beautifull kids, do
it for them, they deserve better!!

Foxy, please do what they (above) tell you. It's easier said than done,
but there are so many services out there that can help. Your husband is
not your husband when he's drunk. I know that what Michael says is
tempting, but self-defense may be hard to prove, and revenge can land
you in prison. Don't wait until he is drunk again. It may be too late.
I hate reading about these things in the paper.

Keep us posted. I'm no Dr Phil or Abbey, but I'm still worried.

Foxy, you have to leave this man, either pack up and leave, or have him
arrested for making terrorists threats, then file a restraining order
against him... worry about living expenses
later.

go fishing with him...two goes out...one comes back...lol...

look,,,get out...like they all said,do NOT allow him to find out where
you are...even if you seek revenge,,,you may go to prison...
but you have been in a prison for th last 14 years...

and you have th key that gets you out...
be strong for your kids,be strong for you...

I was being funny...sorry...

but if he beats and abuses you and your kids...
and follows you with a private eye...while in prison...

then you can feed him to th 'gators...

th 'gators in his prison...tell his cell mates what he did to get
there...they will make him feel right at home...trust me...

BUT GET THAT BALL ROLLING SOONEST!!!
HAVE HIM ARRESTED !!!

why does anyone beat up those they should be loving???

My life long ago before my eyes in print... Foxy if you would like to
talk I am and always will be an email away...
Life does get better and yes I have 4 kids... you just have to want
it..... Denise

I just sent you a email, I have been married to a addict for 10 years
and I left him 2 years ago and have built a great life for the kids and
I, I did it on my own!! I built a group on yahoo for family and friends
of addicts and I now have almost 550 members who come here and get and
offer support.
I know the pain, abuse both physically, and mentally. But you can do
something about this for the kids and yourself as you are not alone.
Here is the link if you are intrested but ONLY YOU can make the first
step in getting help.
Shana
http://health.groups.yahoo.com/group/naranonsupport/

michael your so right, wish it could be that easy,
mannn just get rid of the ****er,
but you know how it is...but you know that if she doesn't do something
now, she will be the one not coming back, I have seen it so many
times!!!

Fox is you need to talk, like lamom said, Im also here for you and I
know there are lots of women here that you will feel confortable talking
to!!!

so just talk to someone!!!!

Talk....I can,t see how that matters, she,s not in a situation that
requires a coping technique, she has to leave him.

yep,,,now!!!!!!!!!!

Women or even men in these situtations do not believe there is a way
out, They are beaten down so much that they dont think they are worthy
of anything elce, They are scared and think they are alone even though
they are not, It all come down to how bad you want out and to make a
life for the kids and yourself.
You say you have 5 kids and can not support yourself, been there thought
the same thing, I had to go on welfare for a little bit and into housing
so I was able to go to college and get my degree so I could support
myself and children, It is hard as hell but look how hard it is for you
now.
YOU HAVE NO CONTROL OVER HIM AND YOU CAN NOT CHANGE HIM!!!!!!!!

my heart and and prars are with you and you'r childern.
but that is a choice you must make 'm sure its not easy but you know it
is a choice you must make for the safty of you and children.I'm sure in
a few weeks you would have wished you made that choice a long time ago.
you have meny friends here i'm sure we would. just tell us wat you want.

I just sent you an e-mail. Please listen to the advice of these people
on here and get away from him. There are stories on the news all the
time about husbands killing their spouses or ex's and taking the kids or
even killing the kids during their drunken rages. I lived a similar
situation for 10 years and it is hard to get out but you can do it.

There are agencies out there to help you and your babies. You also have
to remember that the kids are watching this and your sons are learning
about how to treat women from watching this. Domestic violence centers
are all over and they help with shelters, and even free legal advice,
and counseling, lots of services out there to help.

Please take care of yourself and your children and get away from him.

As for the idea of beating him up, nice fantasy, but you don't want him
throwing you in jail for assault, or it will just make him madder and
more dangerous, so let the police and the legal system deal with him.

As a woman that was in an abusive relationship for 4 years. Please
leave. Go to a shelter, your parents, any where but where your at.

I was in a phyical and mental abusive marriage. I tried to leave when
my oldest daughter was a year old, and I lost a child. He kinapped my
daughter and I had no idea where she was for a week. I had to promise to
stay with him for him to give her back.

2 years later and 2more kids later... I got the guts of grabbing my two
daughters (was preggy with #3) and I went to my parents. He never
followed me, since I went from TX to OR.

But it took me 5 years to talk myself into leaving, that I was worth
saving, that my children deserve more.

Please get help, cause it will not stop... it will just get worse.

T

I have been exactly where you are. it took me 13 years to finally get
out and it wasent easy. I realized that my children needed to get out
of the environment at home as did I. It took all i had to stand up to
my abusive x husband and find the strength to finally get out. Put your
faith in the lord above, for he shall light and lead the way. Please
feel free to message or im me i wld like to be you friend in your time
of need and maybe i can help you ,if nothing else listen.
jenn

Hi,.... I wanted to tell ya how much your support does mean to
me....that is the reason why I signed up on justsayhi.com, because I am
tired of keeping everything inside, and having no one to talk to.....now
that a few days has gone by, I feel like a fool for saying it to
everyone....it is all true...I woke up Saturday morning, still
traumatized by the night before, and was desperate to let it out of
me......I feel that I should of just written it to myself, if just to
let it out......I have cut myself off from everyone, including my
sisters that I grew up with....one of my sisters I haven't spoken to in
a couple of years, and my sister Laura knows that when she doesn't hear
from me for a few months, I am distancing myself because I am going thru
a bad time.....I don't share with her what is going on at home, because
she has heard of the things before, and I don't want my negativeness to
wear on her positive energy.....so I only try to write her positive
emails when I do talk to her,.....I don't talk to anyone on the phone,
and I don't know the last time I talked to anyone on it, but my husband
or kids....... I am so desperate to have some friends to email, to let
out what is going on inside.......I have done the order of protection
before with him, and went thru 2 trials{2 separate incidents} where I
had to testify against him, when I had him arrested in 2001, and I went
thru a women's group and counseling, but my counselor had dropped me
after a couple of months, because she said that I had too many problems
and didn't know how she could help me......that just devastated me, and
made me hide more inside, more ashamed of myself, more distrusting of
others, and more afraid to open myself up to others .....and the DA or
womens group was suppose to let me know when he was being released, but
never did, ....so when he was released, he showed up unexpectedly on New
Years Eve, and after having him gone for Thanksgiving, and XMas, and I
had posttraumatic stress disorder,{ I couldn't sleep and thought
people{men} were or had broken into my home}, I would be too afraid to
sleep, so I would stay up all night, and go to work a total wreck.....so
because of being worn out and drained, and my boys & I had missed him,
I let him back in.....its hard to be strong, when you are so weak
inside,.....I also go thru feelings of guilt because he is not a
horrible man when he is not drunk....he is very funny & humorous, and
can make everyone laugh, and he is affectionate and loving to our kids
and I, so feel as if on a tug a war inside....when a relationship is
about 85% positive & loving & the other 15% is negative and scary, it
makes it where I have a hard time calling the authorities...when I pick
up the phone, I want to call,...but feelings of guilt stop me..... who
really wants to have someone that they love dearly, sent away and locked
up?...I know that I just gotta get thru the night and tommorrow may be
better.....I have been in even worse relationships before him, where the
abuse was daily,....I grew up in foster care homes all my life where the
abuse was daily....so I guess part of me is happy that I only have to
make it thru maybe a couple times a month or so, instead of what I could
get myself into with someone even worse....like I said too,...he is very
affectionate, and tells he loves me & the kids constantly and hugs me &
the kids alot, so that is where I feel so pulled both ways.....I know I
am not the only one living in this world like this,....there are some
being treated worse, and some that don't get affection or much love from
their spouse...and because of being inside and secluded for so long too
and feeling let down by alot of state systems {growing up and previous
incidents in my life}, I find it hard to go to agencies where I am just
a number for their funding for their organization, and not there really
for me....to open myself up to just be turned away from
later.....because of never going out, and having anxiety attacks being
around others, and when I even walk outside, I stare only at the ground
directly ahead of me, and never look at anyone going by, whether by car
or on foot....the fears and anxiety that I feel, makes it hard to take
certain steps......I have alot of issues from my past that I never got
to put closure to, which is why I have certain fears and lack of
trust....after being distanced from so many for so long, and hiding from
the world, its now like I can't hold it in any longer, and have found
myself screaming out to the world of strangers,.... my pain & my
fears.....yes, I feel the fool now, for opening up and saying so
much.....I just was trying to find a way to release what was feeling
inside.....Thank you for showing me support....I do know that if I can
build a support group of friends to talk to, that I will gain strength
to have the courage to take the steps needed, and will be able to trust
others for a change, in order to change my life..... Ev

WELL MY BEAUTIFUL FRIEND SEEMS LIKE YOU ARE STUCK IN A WORLD SO COLD YET
SOME ONE THERE BUT NOT ABLE TO HOLD NOW THIS IS WHAT YOU NEED TO DO IVE
BEEN TO REHABS THANK THE LORD ALMIGHTY I FINALLY AM ROLLIN CORRECTLY NO
ONE CAN MAKE ANOTHER PERSON CHANGE EVER WILLINGNESS IS A MAIN FACTOR IN
CHANGE IF YOUR ***** ASS HUSBAND COWARD LAYING HANDS ON A WOMAN THATS A
***** FOOLS LIKE THAT GET CHECKED BEHIND BARS! IM SORRY I DONT LIKE IT
WHEN THAT HAPPENS I GET PISSED OFF IF HE IS NOT WILLING THEN WITH THE
WILL YOU GOT LEFT WILL YOURSELF OUT OF THERE CAUSE TO BE IOR NOT TO BE
DEAD IS THE QUESTION! TAKE EVERY WORD THAT HE SAYS SERIOUSLY DO NOT BE A
NOTHER ONE BYITING THE DUST !JUST MY OPINION!TALES

Well it seems to me that he needs to be in an AAA group. But I will tell
you this, No matter how nice he is when he is NOT drinking, that
drinking and being abusive is really HOW he is deep inside.

I have seen men and women drunk. I have seen the same people sober.
Believe me they are different. But not many are VIOLENT!!! some are
gigglers, bold, shy, quiet, sleepers. He really needs some help. If he
doesn't get the help, I feel that one of these days you are going to pay
for it dearly.

All my Best
T

I know that no matter what we say to you or how our hearts hurt for you.
You are going to do what ever you think in your mind is right.
But........ what you think is right now who is gonna say its right when
he happens to hit you one too many times and it is fatal and your kids
are left without a mother to hold them and love them. They are the ones
that suffer regardless what kind of love you think your hushand is
giving the love should never HURT. When it does it is not real love.
Please think about what you have said yourself and what all here have
wrote to you. I just hope that some day you will see that is not love
and a good home.

LOVE IS LOVE
LOVE IS CARING NOT BEATING THEM
LOVE IS HOLDING THE ONE YOU LOVE NOT HITTING THEM
LOVE COMES IN MANY COLORS NOT BLACK AND BLUE
LOVE IS LOVING NOT MAKING THEM FEEL SMALL
LOVE IS FOREVER NOT FOREVER WONDERING WHAT WILL HAPPEN NEXT