Awesome. Thanks guys/gals. I think I'll keep #1 for a while and perhaps change it to the third pic once I get sick of seeing all the blue. LOL.

Welcome, Lillijane, and good luck!

Good luck, man.

Agreed. This is very doable. Since my partner moved out of the country two years ago I've been alone and have healthfully turned inward to work on Donaven. Without the distractions of sex or the pressures of dating, the self development has been amazing.

If you decide to persue that avenue, good luck, my friend.

Don't let these Italian-brown locks fool you... or my extremely high GPA for that matter. I have a very blond soul! One would think with my good grades I wouldn't be such an air head.

I recently went back to college. It's been nearly a decade, but I'm doing EXTREMELY well. I think slightly older students have a lot of advantages (at least more modivation from what I've seen).

Good luck with that, man!

I've never done the "online" thing as far as meeting a mate is concerned. I heard, though, that one's picture is the FIRST thing a potential looks at. I have several of them uploaded, but which should be my main profile avatar?

What do you guys think?

It was agreed that the words “ex boyfriend” did not have to carry any negative connotation; our three-year relationship ended without the labels of bad guy and good guy, yet remaining friends after the fact has been an interesting/difficult/unl ike-any-other experience. Discontinuing our partnership for logical reasons rather than ending things because someone did something terribly wrong left the two of us still very much in love. Unfortunately there is no switch to shut those emotions off. The past two years have been an interesting journey of trying to figure out exactly how we fit into one another’s lives and doing so in a healthful way that is life-giving. Moving on as independents proved difficult at times, so contact was completely dropped.

Recently my ex decided it was okay to touch base and sent me an email. An interesting blend of complex emotions were aroused, but nothing I can completely make sense of.

Often I think the past several years would have been easier if he was a jerk, so I was forced to end it. But I cannot monsterize him. I can never denounce his being a good man.

...interesting how our relationship has evolved from best friends to passionate lovers, then reduced to over-seas emails. Now where are we?

I was thinking about my future marriage just this morning. Well, I was in a round-about way. At the center of my thoughts were my goals. My entire life I have been striving for something or towards an ultimate ending and have always believed that with applied hard work most things can be achieved. No, my journey hasn’t been smooth or ideal (I mean I should have my PhD by now, lol), but look at what I have accomplished; consider the promotions I have taken at EVERY job, the money I made at a young age, having my own car, house, apartment. .. All attained by goal-oriented hard work—sweat and blood. Today my sights are set on my degree. Doubling up on these ridiculous science classes isn’t easy; it’s a lot of hard work, but it is what I need to do to get what I want, grow stronger, become the man I want to be.

I was telling God that finding a relationship is different. I can have the *goal* of settling down and getting married, but how does one go about that? Sure, there are certain things one can do to look more attractive or be more presentable, but I can’t “sweat and bleed” myself a man. No amount of hard work or having goals is going to materialize a husband.

This is what was given to me: Obtaining a spouse and kids isn’t a goal. They are things that will happen naturally—naturally while living in the present. Although I’ve always been driven my clear pictures of what I think my future is supposed to look like, I truly don’t know what the Lord has for me; therefore, while striving, sweating, and bleeding I must not forget to live for today—in the now. Thinking about this made me realize how often I have my sights set on the future when I don’t even know if there is going to be a future. Also, lately I’ve forgotten to be happy. That sounds silly, I know, but I truly have fallen back into my old ways of thinking, “I will be happy when I get my degree, when this next goal is achieved.” Well, this morning I decided to be happy now and take joy in every day that God gives me.

It's kind of attention getting--and I'm not being derogatory--but I have noticed an abundance of couples (heterosexual and homo, alike) who look like they could be BROTHER AND SISTER OR CLOSE COUSINS.

At work I deal with couples all day. It got me thinking (I try not to hurt myself too bad when that happens). Is there a reason for these look-alikes walking hand in hand, planning their lives together? Is there an honest science in play here???

Maybe people are generally satisfied with themselves and the way they look; therefor, they find a mate who resembles them. ?? The slightly overweight man who is a few inches shorter than the average height is married to a short stocky young woman. The African-American lady who dresses nice and always has her hair done is coupled with a tall, athletic looking, African-American man who is also well maintained. They look like they bolong together.

Shortly after, I had yet another moment to ponder my theroy and thought to myself "But Donaven, you typically don't go after the short skinny guys who are built like you." How true. I'm only 5'7" and built like a pre-pubecent girl! Most of my ex boyfriends (the few that I've had) have been very, very tall. My last boyfriend of over two years was 6'4" with a beautiful dancer's body.

A physical feature that I have always been attraced to is nice legs! Ugh! Love legs! And I have nasty little chicken legs. I already said I love tall guys; I'm pretty short. I love dark skin (biracial men are the cutest--they get the best of everything, it seems), and although I get a beautiful tan in the summer I'm definitely a white kid.

So where does that leave me? Do I have self esteem issues? Am I not satisfied with the body God gave me? Hmm? I feel happy enough. Yet I think I go for qualities that I don't have.

Yet another ponder. . .Who is better off? Does one couple have the advantage over another? Opposites attract, but is that healthy? Sociologically the households that stay together are those made from couples who have similar economic backgrounds, education levels, religious up brinings, etc.

Sociology is for the birds, or I'm screwed!

Is anyone else haunted with stupid random thoughts like this, and you let yourself get carried away with them? LOL! I'm such a goof!

Share with me ~Donaven

Thanks, all! Everyone here seems very warm. I'll keep you posted if I find "the one" hahahaha!

;)

Hey, buddy. I'm gay but only fit one of your criteria. I live in Columbus and am a little older than what you're after. Also being a new guy, though, I wanted to post a reply, say hello, and wish you luck. I hope you find what you're after, man.

:) -Donaven

Hey, man.

Not having played the "internet game" too much when it comes to landing dates, maybe I'm the wrong person to drop advice. I imagine, though, one has to put himself out there--talk to the girls. Straight men, unfortunately, are subject to a lot more pressure when it comes to making the moves. My buddies never have luck if they sit around waiting on Ms. Awesome to fall into their lap. Being gay--the gender rules are a little different; therefore, I can probably do a little more "sitting around" than you. I imagine women can as well. But I still don't expect much to materialize if I just idly wait on a decent gay guy to cross my path.

From your profile pic, you're a good looking dude. Grow a pair and talk to some ladies. I have my fingers crossed for ya, buddy.

Having been partnered for five years, my dating experience is drastically limited. I’ve taken the past two years of being single to (on a non-selfish note) focus on myself, reflect on past learning experiences, exercise, and continue striving toward my degree. Now, I feel balanced and am attempting to “put myself out there” again. I have never played the “internet game” when it comes to meeting guys, so I have no idea what to expect out of this site. If nothing else, I hope to make a few good friends and encounter several guys and gals who have comparable interests or approach life in a similar way.

At my core I am very warm, loving, understanding, and have a mutual respect for all who cross my path.

-Donaven

Not that I'm any kind of an intellectual power house, but I often find myself sucked into in-depth controversial conversations about homosexuality where I finally corner my opposition. . .and his/her last stab, the last remark made 99 times out of 100 is:

"I have gay friends."


Ohhhhh, excuse me. You're one of the "enlightened" conservatives who loves all, BUT. . .

Why am I hearing that more and more. Are we supposed to view someone who is obviously trying to oppress us legally, socially, and religiously as open-minded because they have supposed gay friends? Is one such "enlightened" conservative supposed to be commended for his/her tolerance of their friends' homosexuality?

In my opinion friendship goes both ways; tolerance within a friendship goes both ways. If anyone deserves a pat on the back it's the homosexual who "tolerates" his/her heterosexual buddy who will give a hug one minute then speak out against our rights as peopl--as human beings--the next.

I'm not an angry kid, by any means. I guess I just needed to vent a little. I've always been able to handle myself when these conversations arise, and usally I'm glad for the opportunity to shed light on the subject of gay rights and humanize homosexuals in general. But it gets tiring sometimes. I guess I'm saddened. I feel like no matter how "loving" or "accepting" some of my family members, friends, and co-workers are I am still in some way bazzare or "the odd one." **BIG SIGH**

I also feel that the best way to battle homophobia is direct contact with homosexuals. Gay men and lesbian women who, like I said, humanize us--make us out to be real people.

Again, sorry for whining. It's time to dust myself off and prepair to take on another day.

-Donaven