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| Topic: Relationship Morphology | |
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It was agreed that the words “ex boyfriend” did not have to carry any negative connotation; our three-year relationship ended without the labels of bad guy and good guy, yet remaining friends after the fact has been an interesting/difficult/unl ike-any-other experience. Discontinuing our partnership for logical reasons rather than ending things because someone did something terribly wrong left the two of us still very much in love. Unfortunately there is no switch to shut those emotions off. The past two years have been an interesting journey of trying to figure out exactly how we fit into one another’s lives and doing so in a healthful way that is life-giving. Moving on as independents proved difficult at times, so contact was completely dropped.
Recently my ex decided it was okay to touch base and sent me an email. An interesting blend of complex emotions were aroused, but nothing I can completely make sense of. Often I think the past several years would have been easier if he was a jerk, so I was forced to end it. But I cannot monsterize him. I can never denounce his being a good man. ...interesting how our relationship has evolved from best friends to passionate lovers, then reduced to over-seas emails. Now where are we? |
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Hmmmm....
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Hmmmm.... 
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ummm
WOW good luck there |
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What? I'm thinking!....He's kind of a hottie. I'm trying to help him out here.
 
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What? I'm thinking!....He's kind of a hottie. I'm trying to help him out here. 
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 Thanks. I was looking for that one thing to make me sleepy enough to go to bed. That did it.  
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It was agreed that the words “ex boyfriend” did not have to carry any negative connotation; our three-year relationship ended without the labels of bad guy and good guy, yet remaining friends after the fact has been an interesting/difficult/unl ike-any-other experience. Discontinuing our partnership for logical reasons rather than ending things because someone did something terribly wrong left the two of us still very much in love. Unfortunately there is no switch to shut those emotions off. The past two years have been an interesting journey of trying to figure out exactly how we fit into one another’s lives and doing so in a healthful way that is life-giving. Moving on as independents proved difficult at times, so contact was completely dropped. Recently my ex decided it was okay to touch base and sent me an email. An interesting blend of complex emotions were aroused, but nothing I can completely make sense of. Often I think the past several years would have been easier if he was a jerk, so I was forced to end it. But I cannot monsterize him. I can never denounce his being a good man. ...interesting how our relationship has evolved from best friends to passionate lovers, then reduced to over-seas emails. Now where are we? Thankyou for sharing.... My One Great Love and I parted four years ago... for distance reasons, and professional reasons...not for emotional reasons... the best way to describe our parting was he required a 'big' life... a successful musician, travelling, studios, gigs, and the whole 'lifestyle if a musician who shares his craft...I require a 'small' life...simplistic, private, secluded, reflective. Who gives up what for whom? His need to be 'big', which meant a 'small' life...or my need for a small life, to have to be 'big'? Neither of us had to do anything, but honour the differences..that's what love is... honour and acceptance. We have debriefed for the whole four years...we had moments where the addictive aspects of our relationship..the emotional and physical closeness that could not be met, created pain...however we have a raw honesty... and an acceptance of each other's feelings. The facts are we cannot reconcile our differences....and we both accept that. However I love him more for that, than less, as he does me. I don't 'own' him...nor him, me... I just get to love the Who of him. |
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