Topic: science behind attraction
Donaven9's photo
Thu 03/05/09 07:35 PM
It's kind of attention getting--and I'm not being derogatory--but I have noticed an abundance of couples (heterosexual and homo, alike) who look like they could be BROTHER AND SISTER OR CLOSE COUSINS.

At work I deal with couples all day. It got me thinking (I try not to hurt myself too bad when that happens). Is there a reason for these look-alikes walking hand in hand, planning their lives together? Is there an honest science in play here???

Maybe people are generally satisfied with themselves and the way they look; therefor, they find a mate who resembles them. ?? The slightly overweight man who is a few inches shorter than the average height is married to a short stocky young woman. The African-American lady who dresses nice and always has her hair done is coupled with a tall, athletic looking, African-American man who is also well maintained. They look like they bolong together.

Shortly after, I had yet another moment to ponder my theroy and thought to myself "But Donaven, you typically don't go after the short skinny guys who are built like you." How true. I'm only 5'7" and built like a pre-pubecent girl! Most of my ex boyfriends (the few that I've had) have been very, very tall. My last boyfriend of over two years was 6'4" with a beautiful dancer's body.

A physical feature that I have always been attraced to is nice legs! Ugh! Love legs! And I have nasty little chicken legs. I already said I love tall guys; I'm pretty short. I love dark skin (biracial men are the cutest--they get the best of everything, it seems), and although I get a beautiful tan in the summer I'm definitely a white kid.

So where does that leave me? Do I have self esteem issues? Am I not satisfied with the body God gave me? Hmm? I feel happy enough. Yet I think I go for qualities that I don't have.

Yet another ponder. . .Who is better off? Does one couple have the advantage over another? Opposites attract, but is that healthy? Sociologically the households that stay together are those made from couples who have similar economic backgrounds, education levels, religious up brinings, etc.

Sociology is for the birds, or I'm screwed!

Is anyone else haunted with stupid random thoughts like this, and you let yourself get carried away with them? LOL! I'm such a goof!

Share with me ~Donaven

no photo
Thu 03/05/09 07:41 PM
"...So where does that leave me? Do I have self esteem issues? Am I not satisfied with the body God gave me? Hmm? I feel happy enough. Yet I think I go for qualities that I don't have..."

We always wish we had what somebody else has, and forget that what we have been endowed with may be attractive to somebody...

"...Is anyone else haunted with stupid random thoughts like this, and you let yourself get carried away with them? LOL! I'm such a goof!..."

Nope it is just you...haha...Actually random thoughts are great to have, depending on where they lead...



darkowl1's photo
Thu 03/05/09 07:48 PM
glad i'm a doppelgangermad :tongue:

MirrorMirror's photo
Thu 03/05/09 07:52 PM

It's kind of attention getting--and I'm not being derogatory--but I have noticed an abundance of couples (heterosexual and homo, alike) who look like they could be BROTHER AND SISTER OR CLOSE COUSINS.

At work I deal with couples all day. It got me thinking (I try not to hurt myself too bad when that happens). Is there a reason for these look-alikes walking hand in hand, planning their lives together? Is there an honest science in play here???

Maybe people are generally satisfied with themselves and the way they look; therefor, they find a mate who resembles them. ?? The slightly overweight man who is a few inches shorter than the average height is married to a short stocky young woman. The African-American lady who dresses nice and always has her hair done is coupled with a tall, athletic looking, African-American man who is also well maintained. They look like they bolong together.

Shortly after, I had yet another moment to ponder my theroy and thought to myself "But Donaven, you typically don't go after the short skinny guys who are built like you." How true. I'm only 5'7" and built like a pre-pubecent girl! Most of my ex boyfriends (the few that I've had) have been very, very tall. My last boyfriend of over two years was 6'4" with a beautiful dancer's body.

A physical feature that I have always been attraced to is nice legs! Ugh! Love legs! And I have nasty little chicken legs. I already said I love tall guys; I'm pretty short. I love dark skin (biracial men are the cutest--they get the best of everything, it seems), and although I get a beautiful tan in the summer I'm definitely a white kid.

So where does that leave me? Do I have self esteem issues? Am I not satisfied with the body God gave me? Hmm? I feel happy enough. Yet I think I go for qualities that I don't have.

Yet another ponder. . .Who is better off? Does one couple have the advantage over another? Opposites attract, but is that healthy? Sociologically the households that stay together are those made from couples who have similar economic backgrounds, education levels, religious up brinings, etc.

Sociology is for the birds, or I'm screwed!

Is anyone else haunted with stupid random thoughts like this, and you let yourself get carried away with them? LOL! I'm such a goof!

Share with me ~Donaven





bigsmile Man, that's deepbigsmile

Roco's photo
Thu 03/05/09 07:52 PM
I read something similar to that, i.e. the greater the income gap between husband and wife, the greater the chances of the relationship not working out.

Roco

s1owhand's photo
Thu 03/05/09 07:52 PM
Edited by s1owhand on Thu 03/05/09 07:53 PM
birds of a feather flock together! drinker

darkowl1's photo
Thu 03/05/09 08:02 PM
i think your synopsis is correct on observations on the outside, but you can go and change the outside in a gym. i'm living proof, but you might be missing looking at the majority of the world that holds the menagerie of "misfits" opposites, and oddities with normals that get along with real love, for real eternity, and although it is rarer, it does exist, so take heart, gentle soul, and make a list of what you like, and what you're in common with and morph yourself into what you want others to see, and it may take work, but it's school and learning, and well worth it. i'm living proof that these things can be accomplished for i would have certainly died if i didn't change. that's how serious it was for me.....good luck, and i'll help anyway i can.flowerforyou drinker

FearandLoathing's photo
Thu 03/05/09 08:04 PM
I don't really care, I go after whoever interests me. With someone as of tonight that is very similar to me in ideals (I know, someone that thinks like me, even I thought that scary) appearance really doesn't matter to me. She is really attractive in my eye's, and that is all that matters...I figure if our ideals are that close together I could use help with my laser and time-travel toaster oven.smokin

Overall, get out there and try...and fail, then try again.drinker

s1owhand's photo
Thu 03/05/09 08:09 PM
it be tha pimp juice...

no photo
Thu 03/05/09 08:17 PM

Is anyone else haunted with stupid random thoughts like this, and you let yourself get carried away with them? LOL! I'm such a goof!

Share with me ~Donaven


Not a goof at all -- just shows you have the ability to take a look at your own preferences, your own drives, your own predilections. Nothing wrong with that. I think it helps if we understand these things -- or at least make the attempt -- about ourselves.

For me, the physical preferences really boil down to two basic types -- which, for ease of discussion with the one person who really understands it, I have labeled the "standard" and the "exotic."

Neither one is anything like myself, in the physical sense. But I'm 5'10" and about 200 pounds.

Where the similarity needs to kick in is in other areas -- intellect, creativity, non-mainstreamness. I need to be with someone who has as much a thirst for knowledge, as much a drive to create, as I have. Anything less becomes boring -- very quickly.

I recently added this to my profile: "As for me, I'm looking for a girl who is non-mainstream -- a creative type, an intellectual, someone for whom 'tradition' is a dirty word. Someone who is so herself that other people can't even assimilate it. Because that's the only kind of person who is going to be able to keep me interested."

That's why most of my relationships have lasted three months or less.

I don't see anything wrong with doing a bit of self-analysis. Maybe we can even learn something about ourselves, something which may prove useful in the future....?







darkowl1's photo
Thu 03/05/09 08:22 PM

"...So where does that leave me? Do I have self esteem issues? Am I not satisfied with the body God gave me? Hmm? I feel happy enough. Yet I think I go for qualities that I don't have..."

We always wish we had what somebody else has, and forget that what we have been endowed with may be attractive to somebody...

"...Is anyone else haunted with stupid random thoughts like this, and you let yourself get carried away with them? LOL! I'm such a goof!..."

Nope it is just you...haha...Actually random thoughts are great to have, depending on where they lead...





you are an angel, what you think are weaknesses are your strengths that make you beautiful, it just takes another to strengthen that fact into knowing...