I have 2 words...

Healthy Boundaries-

It took me a long time to REALLY put that into action.

Once I had given all I had to help everyone and when I needed something , there was no one there. No one could spare a minute just to even talk... and I said enough!

It has been very peaceful since I learned the word NO..

This actually happened to me with my son. I took "it" from him and flushed it, broke his glass pipe and sat him down and told him clear and simple...
"You are up for 2 scholorships in the field of your choice....
You are at a 3.9 grade point average. you have struggled through school to overcome alot and now you are going to throw all your hard work away for something that will give you no future. If you choose to do this kind of thing it will be after you leave this house. Choices you make affect me as well, bringing that into this house subjects me to possible jail time and you being forcibly removed from this home. I will loose everything and your future is shot down the crapper.

Whatever you do when you grow up and move out is up to you- but it wont be tolerated here.
I love you and I am supportive of your goals- but you have to make better choices and weigh the consequences of your actions. Growing up is not about the number of birthdays you have had...It is about how you handle yourself and how you choose to spend your time.

I didnt yell or scream at him but he knew I meant business. He came to me later and apologized and told me it would never happen again and it hasnt. I spent some time checking up on him and he has a curfew. I know where he is and who he is with . Recently I let up on him some because he earned.

Shadow-I do understand how puzzling that can be, that distance thing is quite discouraging....

My theory is...Its is a safety buffer. A gal who lives 500 miles away is much less likely to show up at your door out of the blue...If someone is far away (male or female) if they are legit than you get time to know them intellectually before jumping into the fire with them. If they are just playing around, it is likely they will slip up and contradict themselves somewhere along the way
Or just loose interest if you dont send "nudie" pictures ...

500 miles away also prevents them from seeing you out on the town if you just so happen to be out with someone (be it friend or otherwise)
and follow you home with a knife... or stalk you at some point in the future.

Hey Zachariah-

Welcome... from the state of South Carolina-

(but Im a huge Dallas Cowboys fan) Does that count? LOL

Hope you have a great time here!

GEL

Welcome to the site- Its a great one- Hope you enjoy your time here and you are sure to meet some great people along the way!



GEL

The echoe fills the room as the lights go down
Silence is deafening when it is shared alone.
Darkness is piercing my eyes.
It hurts not to see, floundering in the pitch black.
Even the rhythm of my heart seems unstable
in the lonliness I cant seem to wrap my head around.
No sweet hello when I come home, no hand to hold
while walking or watching a movie.
No sweet warmth as I lay me down to sleep. Sleep?
It evades me.
There are no passion filled arms to pull me near and steal my breath
away.
I wake up haggard and worn from a night of restlessness.
Longing to reach out to find my soulmate, my friend,
my resting place, yet again all I find is a void.
Who can muffle the sounds of a shattered heart?
I step thru the shards to try and find some shred of me
to put back together. But Im afraid I would'nt recognize
enough of me to know where to start.
An incomplete rendition with huge spaces remaining.
My feet bleed as I step on the broken pieces trying to find my way.
And breaking thru the silence is the tinkling of glass-
Sounds of a shattered heart.

Yesturday I dreamed of you
Your face etched in my mind.
But as I looked and looked for you
You were increasingly hard to find.
Dodging here and hedging there
always 10 steps ahead
Seems as tho I cant catch up
Im falling behind instead.
Today the sun is beaming in
I try to find a glimmer
But hope seems to be fading fast
And is quickly losing its shimmer.
Tomorrow will I have the strength
to look yet once again?
Or simply wait and accept my fate
And recall your face and then...
Remember yesturday as it was
Back when My hope was strong
And today, hope tomorrow soon comes
For yesturday is long gone..

I am your worst nightmare
Tho I can start out really small;
Before you know it I can grow
It takes no time at all.

I just wait for the perfect time
To rear my ugly head.
Takes no effort for me to pop out
Tho you should tell the truth instead

I'm twisted and I'll mangel lives
I tear your concience to pieces
I'll stand by and listen in
Until all the arguing ceases.

At first I am here all alone
But then my friends join in
What started out as one white lie
Has now turned into ten.

I break trust, I stab backs
Its simple and its true-
I'll separate you from every one
Who ever cared about you

So tell the truth if you dare
Its hard but you must try
You dont want to cross my path
I'll only make you cry.

Be real good, choose your words
You must think carefully
The truth cant hurt near as bad
As getting tangled up with me

Good Morning and welcome to this site..Hope you have as great a time here as Ive had.

We have some great folks here.....

Its good to see you

We do not eat healthy -we microwave every thing. We gobble down prepakaged foods high in sodium and preservatives, most of us dont exercise and burn off any toxins, our brainds and nervous systems are being poinsoned.

Not to mention there is little discipline in todays society. Its what you want when you want.
We have allowed society to make it to the point that it takes two people working to provide for a households bare essentials and we live beyond our means and therefore we are under tremendous amounts of stress. Add it all together and you have mental deficientcy galore.

Awww! How sweet- That is the best news I have heard all day!


Congratulations you guys!!!
The best of Love to you both.

You are absolutely right- In my circumstance...I found that the common denominator was "ME".. I had to learn to do things differently and that started with a whole different thought process.

I stayed out of the dating pool for a good while til I could over come the damage done by unhealthy relationships. I threw out all that baggage. I threw out all that negative stuff I allowed myself to be told.

There is a thing called respect and learning to respect yourself is the first step. Now when it feels like someone is crossing my boundaries I tell them very politely, hey thats not cool. Please dont do that. If that doesnt work- I can choose who I want to be around and where I spend my time.
I deserve whats good for me. Taking anything less is not an option.

Since I can remember
When I was very small
ANy time some one got hurt
I was there to fix them all.

Be there for mommy when she cries
Help daddy when he's drunk
Rescue me, help me first
Now Ive grown out of that junk.

Dont get me wrong, Im caring
Its not like I am cold
BUt I had to set boundaries
To let my life unfold.

So wrapped up in everyone
I could not be free
So I stopped fixing everyone
And focused just on on me.

I was the mom in my home
Heck sometimes I was the dad
I had to make things better
Everytime something went bad

But I have learned a lesson
Life taught me a thing or two
That before you can help anyone
You gotta get a handle on "you".

Thanks guys- your feedback is greatly appreciated.

Only write whats in my heart-Glad you liked it.
GEL

It was time to let things go
No more strings around my heart
A decision I struggled with for so long
That almost tore me apart

It was 11:54 this morning
When love quietly slipped away;
Taking one last shallow breath
As I bowed my head to pray,

Many memories left behind
Of the days when love was strong
And I found comfort and safety
In the arms where I belonged

But love on mere memories alone
Just cant be sustained
So as time went by you see
Only the memories remained-

So with a sad heart and fond goodbye
I bid my love farewell
As it was buried some where deep
In its cold and hardened shell.

Its time to cross over now
And stand on solid ground
Bury what’s been dying for so long
To go where hope is found

Here lies love that was true
But finally laid to rest
When It died it was so sad
But I gave it all my best.

9-22-09

How can it be that there are so many on each side looking for the same thing and yet so many people who arent finding it? It puzzles me
that we are all "missing each other".

So much love out there to be given and so many people aching to recieve yet their are so many lonely hearts- Why is that?

Could it be that that the love we seek isnt "packaged" they way we think it should be.

Or have we been so mistreated in the past that everyone in the future pays the price for a crime they never commited....

I agree with Katzen- Im very upset by the mere notion of those feelings...

I love you "T"- you are my true friend....

Look up "carboard ministries" there are a few videos that will really make you think...

Not sure if this one will post or not...But here
goes.

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Thats really good...

Very snappy!

In a perfect world neighbors help each other,
And race would not define who we call brother-
The elderly would not have to, live in fear you see
Caught between the meds they need- or food to eat...
And the government is still run by "the People"
And you could trust every soul under the steeple.
Bars wouldnt take every hopeless persons last dime
And home would where families spent all their time;

In a perfect world....

Sickness wouldnt take the ones we love too soon-
we wouldnt spend our kids future goin to the moon
There would be no poverty and there would be no crime
There would be no dads and moms in jail doin time;
Everyone who wants to work would have a job
And we would all marry our highschool heart throb
And there would be no distance that would be too far
To walk to if we didnt rely on our cars..

In a perfect world...

Our phones would never ring during dinner
And every ticket holder- sure they're a winner!
And theres is enough generosity for everyone in town
Making sure that everyone is safe and sound-
Our young folks would not be being sent off to war
Not knowing just what it is their fighting for
Maybe its just my vision but I hope you can see
How wounderful a perfect world could be...

But we dont live...In a perfect world
And some things have just gone too far
The news at night will make your toes curl
WHen you see just where we are...

In our imperfect world....