Missing

If I said I missed you that would be a lie,
The sound of my soul
Is that of a thousand angels sigh’s,
A thousand dove cries,
A thousand evening howls
Of the wolves devouring the night in my soul
A thousand whispers of loss,
A thousand thoughts slipping into the black inkwell
A thousand hours of silence in the shadows,
A thousand moments of shivering cold,
A thousand seconds of breaths you took away,
A thousand days locked in my mind
A thousand years with no other voice but my own,
A thousand times I miss you…again…and again,

You are the heat
The air
The light in my eyes,
The hours that tie the world together
The moments that combine my world into meaning

You are gift that needs no unwrapping,
To be you,
Is my gift,
My need,
My healing breadth
In the sight of your eyes,
Let them not cry,
For I would buy the sky for you
And light it with my love
To give you a moment
Of peace and joy,
A thousand stars for you,
A thousand smiles too,
A thousand moments of laughter of joy,
A thousand hours of holding you wrapped in a day,
A thousand years of love,
I would give this if I could,
Because I miss you.

Thinking of that old song, You got a freeeeeind, LOL

wow, awesome quote

From one of my best friends, Vincent, he says this, LOL sorry, it was cute, hahaha

well, at least you found out early what a pooopy head he was, and his heart was made of playdoh pooo!!!! he needs to make a pooo raft, and go down **** river without a canoe, towards plip-plop rapids, and down diarria falls, into the great ****-swamp delta, into ass-jelly sea.....with floaters.....e-mail him what i just said. then i'll threaten to cover him with ppooopyy dooo dooo for life!!!!!!!

thank you to everyone, you rock. thank you so much. You are appreciated.

To be honest with you I am not looking for a boyfriend right now, I have one, and am engaged, I am here because I have some very good friends here, and I don't make it a point to be mean to people ever, or to play games, I HATE ALL GAMES!! so not into games, I just like making friends. He totally got me all wrong, calling me a poet oh I'm hot blah blah that was mean, that was not what I am about

he did give me his number and want me to come over, you tell me, hahaha, I was like, uh no, not now, I'm busy, but not meaning it rude, I was busy, working on something. And my pops was on the phone so, duh, I even offered yahoo phone chat, he wouldn't go for it. grrr, whatever, I knew somthing wsa up than

Ok, I totally met this guy today, no I am not saying his saying his name, all I am saying is, when we chated on yahoo he got all cruel all of a sudden out of no where. At first he wanted me to call him and go see him and I was like no, I'm busy right. I got a wierd feeling, like he was playing games, I didn't want to make a sudden judgement so I let it go at first, than I was telling about someone I once met and he gets all super angry, calling me a biggot and and an ahole and a b' for hating on his aztec raise, I was like, what in the world! Talk about an excuse to be mean. Are many guys like this, just lookin for a fight or some nice girl to kick down just cause she is being nice, or maybe even flirting a little bit, I mean, really, what the heck. now I am just thinking of leaving, all though I have some nice friends here, I am tired of angry people, I try not to be one in general, but wow, yu know, are alot of guys like this?

Oh dear, it sounded as if I were making fun of these things, certainly not, I am addressing it, as a very open discussion. I apologize to all those I may have offended. Hugs and blessings, lilwick

I believe a person can help themselves to heal, inside thier hearts and souls and that it can even benefit their physical beings, not only by lowering blood pressure, and physical pain but also depression.

I like to meditate from time to time. I like a good easy going conversation. And who doesn't like the sun on thier faces just for a bit as if the sun is smiling on them.

I was telling a good friend of mine tonight, about the things I have learned over the years about how to drag my sorry butt out the shadows of my cold dark room and take a lil step towards recovery of negative emotions or constant illments.

Now, I admit, sometimes it takes a freind or family member to insist upon your doing something today, and than again, you know that all ready.

I'm not saying positive thinking is gonna make it all better all at once, nope, no miracle cures, but a definate change of thinking that makes yu feel good for a while.

Anyone hear of affirmations?
Well, a friend of mine read an article of Belief.net about building a Self Esteem File
I just want to say, when I did it, I was sooo thrilled at the responses I recieved.

It is a file you create on your computer or even in a box.
What it is, is you send a email or messege to all your good friends telling them

"As you may or may not know, I have been feeling down and have been hearing this negative critic voice telling me I am only animal dung. I am building a 'Self Esteem File' (or you can call it a Feel better File, whatever you like' Because, I would like to believe differantly. That is where you come in, my friends and family. If you can, please list ten positive qualities I have, cause I need affirmations, lots of them. Also list why you are my friend. Also list Anything kind I might have said to you or done for you.
There must be something you can say that is good. Right. Your my friend aren't you. Right? Ok, thanks for the help. Sincerely, ...."

You can write letters to people like this or do it internet style but make sure you print the results so when you feel down, you can look at them, or if something is extra special you can carry it with you to lift your spirits.

The responses I recieved were amazing and made me feel loved.

Keep on keeping on, never give up, never surrender.
lilwick

All I say is, may your day be blessed, no direct assumption towards any particular religion, except in my own faith, which is, I want to bless you, and wish you a good day, or perhaps, give you some positive energy, or maybe, some positive attitude to promote a good day. That to me, is a blessing, they may take it any way they may choose. it is all done, out of good spirit. smiles

Into the words of the man I love, in a very deep conversation worth a lifetime. smiles

I apologize, I made an assumption without proper thinking behind it. I'm sorry, my mind was somewhere else when I wrote it, not a bad place, when I said I hope it does not offend you if I do not ask, I meant that in kindness, in other words, I respect what it is you do and I would not wish to offend you by seeming to be rude, by not asking. Call me timid if you like, or maybe, a bit nervous to ask. I think many are nervous to see such things. I for one, am at a stage in my life, when such things hold great wieght as you can see now. smiles, thank you for responding.

nevermind, my friend has told me its too late for this, go to bed, hahhahaha

Happilly, Taken

The only way you will find real love is slow and easy, the natural way. Let things take their course, don't be too desperate or even act that way. Take your time, and know, there are many women who you could be compatible with, there is hope. Also, do not illusion yourself to the idea, there is only one. Think logically, use your best judgment, if it doesn't feel right, take a step back and think about it for a bit, don't obsess, be open to discussions. Oh yeah, and keep that bad boy inside of you in check, many women like badboys, but lets get real, there will come a point when you will have to be real. Be you from the start, no games. Oh yeah, and be bigger than negativity, no need to be cruel. Show your a gentleman sometimes.
Smiles, keep on keeping on. lilwick

Nevermind

someday, I might ask you to draw one for me, if not, I hope you are not offended. Smiles.

Returned-For My Beloved


What was it the Lady of White had said, ‘You will love her always because you bare that part of her that answers your peoples future questions. But you can never lay with her, for you will give her your seed and you will destroy us all.’ the warning was clear and solid there was no denying it and still Errionel had questioned if the sorceress had been wrong. This thought was easily crushed when she told him the rest leaving him broken and in need of Ellour near him more than ever before.

That’s why he had reached out to her from his chamber before the sun set. He hadn’t expected her to be so receptive to coming to him, nor had he expected her to be so emotional, her tears falling and disappearing so freely. She had not spoken one word when she had entered and had simply guided him to his bed and lay him down as she lay on his chest shedding her fears into him and over him in waves of her emotions. He held her to him as if she were the only thing in this world he would ever need because she was, and she had been. Tonight, he would give her all he could, and pray he could withstand the aftermath.

When her tears stopped and she began to relax in his warm arms, he could not help but run his hand down her back for a time, and as he did so, she began to breath heavily and he felt her breasts begin to swell against him. He did not stop, until she said his name, “Errionel.” And he answered her, “Yes Cat.”
“Tell me.”
“Tell you what… what do you want to know? What is it you need from me? Don’t be afraid Cat. Speak it to me.”
He felt her begin to caress his chest and he closed his eyes and began to purr in a deep rumbling and than she did something unexpected, she kissed his chest and he moaned.


He let her kiss him with her beautiful mouth and when she nibbled his right nipple he could take no more and he growled dangerously and grabbed her shoulders flipping her over him and under him. He paused for a moment, noticing a fear in her eyes and a hidden excitement. She would make someone a very good lover someday, and he knew who she would love. The thought made him stop before he took her full and hard and fast and he touched her lips so gently imagining someone else kissing them and it nearly broke him in this one moment. He ran his finger down the line of her sculpted stomach unable to keep from touching her. It made her shiver and hot with desire, he could sense it and it made him hard. She lifted her hand to his face and he nuzzled and kissed it soft and sensuous. Suddenly she lifted her head and kissed him full on the lips. He pulled back startled by her eagerness and the jolt it sent through his groin.

Did she truly want him, or was she clinging to him only because she knew he had lost his youth. He knew he did not want to hurt her, she was yet young in her knowledge, but he also knew what his heart couldn’t deny either. He loved her, with all of him, he always had, in every lifetime, and it scared the hell panther out of him. He also knew she did indeed love him. Leave her, now looking upon her, he knew he could not, not now, not ever, not again. There had been talk of forcing an issue, forcing his card, causing chaos and destroying his future. But as her memory had begun to be restored, he knew she knew more than she would say. Could he live without her? Why live without her again? Why allow the Lady of Lies to destroy what he knew should have been long ago? She was a constant meddler in his life and the lives of others. Claiming one prophecy after another in the name of the light, yet, Errionel, knew, now, he would claim what was rightfully his, from the beginning of time. He would not allow this false idealism, this false existence of prophecies to destroy their lives anymore. Now the Dark Dragon had been named and shown his origin, what his true heart held, was a secret, now revealed.
Tonight, the union of the sunset and sunrise and three of one light would happen once and for all.

Errionel could not live without her again, not this time. Enough was enough. He would not be forced to live without her, he would rewrite his own destination, damned be the false prophecy’s of the witch and her counsel. He knew she had served two sides too damn long for her own purposes.

Tonight, the two, would become one.

He had paused for so long now and he wouldn’t let her see his thoughts. She saw him studying her and feeling something she couldn’t pinpoint. His emotions were in turmoil but still centered on her. And so she did the only thing she could think to do. She told him the truth hoping he would speak his own taking the biggest leap of her life, “Errionel, I love you.”

The look in his eyes was a strange shock but than he said, “And I love you and always have. Do you know me now?” She trembled inside, trembled so deep in shook her physically to the core. His presence had always shaken her and made her feel an immense energy as if their presence near each other, stirred the very earth. Than he parted her lips with his thumb and plunged his hot tongue deep in her mouth covering it completely with his own locking them together in this moment. It awoke everything in her, every desire that had thrummed on edges of her thoughts for the last two years was felt in this one, kiss.

The energy started to run through her and she felt it in him too as he let his emotions join completely with hers. Their knowledge joined as one, and all was revealed. The memories returned, and the betrayals, the pains, the past, the present, and the futures denied them both, until now. They were one in soul now, united. Home.Than there was no more thought and she was lost in his kiss as if she had not kissed her husband in more than a hundred years, and in truth, she had not. Her body began to tremble deep inside her core and she wanted him, all of him and she loved him, all of him as she let all her love flow into him in this one kiss. Her hands grasped his shoulders and her legs wrapped around his waist. She could feel his need to be inside of her and she wanted him to be more than any other time.

In this moment, a thing happened, that had not happened in an age. Everything, began to burn. The clothes upon their bodies, burned away with light of love. There was no pain as he entered her body and soul, it was pleasure, and love, they were made whole.

The power of their union nearly broke down the tower and something stirred in the universe, and a scream was heard in the distance.

you shoulda came around
I ain't your little hound
Ain't here for the games
Not trusting the drug in the vein
the one you said was insane
you seemed so nice
had to look twice
but hey baby
ain't no thang
I can do it on my own
if your feelin insane
I ain't here for the games
I found out who hell you were
just a game to please
you played it raw
hard and fast
you so selfish
but you think if you get in my head
that might be the best part of the plan
but ain't no thang
its so plain I see
gee babe better get back to 1
cause this lil wicked thing
is playin another song now
bye bye bye...