Okay I'll go ahead and ask the obvious.

Is he in another country?

o_o

It's a tangent but might also be worth mentioning my post is also the primary argument why it is an infringement of common rights to disallow marriage to any willing, adult participants regardless of sexuality or any other reason. Because it is a legal institution with unique accordance of specific rights such as power of attorney, and is universally recognized in other countries where legal contracts simulating marriage between defacto partners are not likely to be recognized anywhere but the local county or state they were drawn up in.

ie. what marriage actually is in a legal sense is the very argument supporting gay marriage, and also the primary reason for anybody to get married.

You think they do anything but stone defactos in Iran or several little corners in Turkey? And half the rest of the world too.

Maybe it doesn't make any difference to couch potatoes. But in the real world, it's a very important distinction everyone must have an equal right to.

Even if it doesn't mean anything in your area, it is nevertheless a recognized legal institution throughout the world and in the laws of other countries. So if you travelled overseas for example, say to Czech Republic for a random location, and one of you got hit by a car, the other would not have the same rights to visitation or power of attorney whilst you're in hospital unless you were married on your passports, or a blood relative.

Legally it's a whole different world for married spouses and universally recognised. Even in your own country I think you'll find, by default blood relatives have more legal authority in power of attorney than defacto spouses, and yet married spouses have more authority than blood relatives by default.

Above and beyond anything else it's a legal institution and grants specific and unique legal rights between spouses by default, rights that you would need a court order to gain otherwise even if you've been defacto for 20yrs.

So if you're sure you're going to be together for the long haul, it's actually a smart idea in a strictly academic sense.

Depends on my assessment of their character and intellect. Sincere, talented people I've seen in dire straits, and I've seen that turn to the opposite extreme in a week flat. I've seen people go from under-appreciated and underpaid in one job to well accorded and very well paid in the very next one. I've seen people go from unemployed to a record contract or publishing deal.

People vary, we shouldn't assert a dating culture based upon a belief that every person is a clone in different situations. There is no one rule for all.

And anyway, one woman's sugar daddy is another's abusive boyfriend and yet another's loving husband, the situation completely changes depending who they're with. It's about the mix, not the rule or even the circumstance.

I always have very good reasons for picking the women I like, so if she likes me back and wants me to explode in a puff of confetti, I'm fine with it :)

my target market is observant people with imaginations, so being as much an attention-whore as the next person I do it with subtlety

whilst ordering a drink at the bar I might have a little conversation with a bowl of nuts, y'know as them what they think of the other patrons then accuse the bowl of being a little nuts. Relieves boredom, makes idiots step back, but makes interesting women laugh.

that sort of thing is my style.

if I'm going to dance I'll try out a square dance at an alternative heavy venue among goths, you get the idea
basically I like to amuse myself, and am interested in others it may amuse too, as opposed to make angry or apprehensive. It's a good screening tool and I've never exactly been called typical.

the term is to clique with someone, not click with someone. Spelling it phonetically as click suggests a freudian slip, where transient mood base is being used to select partners, such as whether you're sexually aroused in their presence.
If you spell it correctly as clique and use the term by its concise definition it means you select partners on the basis of whether their personality belongs in your social group.

Anyone experienced and aware in relationships has learned that compatability of mind is a better contributor than some allegorical sexual switch being thrown. In one case you become more attracted the more you get to know them, in the other case you become less attracted the more you get to know them even if it starts off fantastic.

So it really comes down to if you have any idea what you're talking about when you say "to click with someone" because actually, it's to clique with someone.

Connecting itself can mean no more than mutual physical attraction or coincidental arousal. Given the right circumstance I've connected with completely incompatable women one day, totally not understood each other the very next day. It's nothing more than a mood concidence. You can easily connect outside your clique.

Al, online social networking is folly for replacement of real world social interaction. It's like saying masturbation is exactly the same thing as sex with a woman. It isn't, it doesn't substitute, and the only healthy approach is an enhancement of the desired condition and not a replacement as the replacement is an undesired condition.

Did you want to just talk to pictures of women on a screen instead of have a relationship with one? Because that's what happens when you try to replace one for the other.

You must go out normally. You must meet people in the real world. Then what you can do is use social networking sites, like dating sites, to enhance your scope of social interaction.

It remains healthy and is what you wanted only when you do it that way. The alternative is scamming and a kind of an online version of trailer trash mentality otherwise, no other version exists.

Dear Mingle2,

I think it's terrific that you assert your site and company policy regarding the terms of service, membership and use of the site servers.

However, you do understand that legally the only contractual obligation to any user of a public access server or any other thoroughfare of any kind is entirely within the realm of agreed conditions under elect of both participants and proprietary at all times.

That means essentially, your (administrative) interpretations of, for example, lewd or unlawful behaviour remain wholly perceptual and not in any way related to contractual obligation by members where they do not clearly demonstrate physical evidence as to warrant criminal charges at the location of member submission. And you're an international site.

You see the paradox here? You might think it unlawful for an adult to call another adult ***** or bastard, and it might be in bumsville illonois. But it's not where I'm posting. That makes it entirely, wholly and completely your own point of view, not in any way related to either socially acceptable nor lawful behaviour. It is a relative subjection.

You can say, we base our site in irkinaught los alamos so the laws of los alamos apply, they don't, but that's the assertion proprietary of the servers is making to users of the servers. Fine, it's a policy.

Sort of like when I play RPG games and say my elflord fight/mage slaughters your goblin thief because he offended me so.
And it's exactly as authoritive in the real world.

But cheers for the headsup. It means: nothing to me. I do what I do, you do what you do, if I remain here, if I don't, kind of irrelevent to the world at large. But really, that was an awesome inbox notification, something boring and pointless and doesn't tell me what to do, I tell me what to do.

This, over here, I'm in charge of. Not you. Where those chips fall, they just do.

Well I guess I'd put down the opium pipe, starch my collar, sharpen my duelling sabre, call for the horses and go meet this 12 year old I'm supposed to marry.

I've worked under female nurses. At one hospital ER the charge nurse was nicknamed "the Bull" which gives you an idea of her personality. She would instruct us to restrain a patient for psyche review because they called her names and sounded aggressive. Then an actual doctor would come along and tell us it is illegal to restrain any patient unless explicitly ordered by a qualified doctor, and we could be charged with a crime for following those instructions.

That's where you learn the real boss in any job is you, because when things go south, you're the only one who has to pay the consequences. And "my boss told me" is often no excuse in a court. You must know the law even if you don't know the law.

So the law treats you as if you're always the boss of you. So everywhere, all the time, in any job, and at home, you must be your own boss. Because you are. The law says you are. The law will lock you in a prison because you are. So you are.

Hi Seacoast.

Your boss is being childish. How do you handle a childish boss when they are in charge of you?

They aren't in charge of you. Nobody is. Power is an illusion.

Employment is a contract in any democracy. Laws protect you from slavery. Employment is not indentured service (slavery).

Some employers don't know that, but the law is on your side. This they know.

You must learn to act like you are in a contract. You have equal power to any employer. If an employer tells you to do something you don't want to do, you can say, "No." And the most he can do is tell someone else to do it. He can get someone else if you don't want to do it. He can't yell at you, threaten you, intimidate you, or do anything except ask someone else to do it, and dismiss you but then he needs to explain why you were dismissed. If it is because you didn't bow low enough, or act weak enough, or be scared enough, then you can sue.

Employment is not slavery. You are always the boss. What you do is agree to perform employment related instructions and undertake agreed duties. If you don't like them, he cannot point a gun at you and make you do them. You can laugh, and say, "get someone else to do that". And there is nothing he can do about it. Except dismiss you (sack you). But that's irrelevent if you don't want to do something, you don't do it.

You have all the power.

Now as to the question of being invaluable, so that an employer would rather negotiate with you than dismiss you for someone else, that comes down to how good you are at your job. Always be excellent at everything you do, and you'll be better than 90% of workers by default, because honestly, 90% of all workers can't wait until they get home from the moment they get to work. They don't apply themselves, they don't strive to excel in everything they do, they just want to watch tv and get paid. So it's a pretty low bar to be invaluable to any employer in any industry.

Again, you have all the power. That's the law.

So what you're saying is just pretend who you are to get what you want?

In the real world attitude is what you're faced with, not what you make up in your head. A correct attitude is how you deal with what you're faced with, not a constertination when really nothing at all is happening to you in any way.

It only holds water if you're in an environment which is full of lies, and what does that say?

Bettyboop, the trick to all this is learning how to be most honest with yourself through concise wording.

When you say you've "known a guy on here", you haven't because you haven't met him in person, and got to know him face to face, under a variety of conditions over a length of time.

So if you refer to this correspondance as "knowing" someone, you're tricking yourself into thinking you know a person that you don't know.
He may not be a sincere Nigerian national, he might be a small time local career-criminal and in between fits of ethnic cleansing his neighbourhood with a machete, he messages dozens of women on websites asking for money to buy more machetes with.
You don't know until you know.

So when you're speaking with a stranger you've never met, always refer to them as a stranger you're speaking with, not someone you know. That way you might be a little less prone to fooling yourself and making it easier to be lied to.
If you keep the real world you live in, straight in your head, then it's easier to see when someone is feeding you a line.

I ate some Vietnam era army rations once. Those biscuits stay crisp for decades.

Damn, can't figure why everybody wouldn't absolutely treasure a hot military babe :)

Know how you feel though. I had a smashed up hand once, crushed one of the long bones pretty badly but managed to reset it before it swelled up and got too painful to touch. Yippy, don't even need to go to a doctor.

So next day I was hanging around a bunch of idiots, yeah I know right? Those competitive types who try to establish dominance when making "friends", so I'm introduced to one and stupid me shakes his hand with my broken one. Of course the way this guy shakes someone's hand is to crush it as hard as he can whilst acting as if he doesn't know his own strength. Everybody heard the bones crunch again, hand kind of looked like a funny shape.

Tried resetting it again but too swollen and painful. You can only reset a bone easily if you do it immediately following the initial break.
Went to doctor now, got x-rayed, top of bone below knuckle is crushed and on an angle. Just ruined. Tells me can strap it up as is and let it heal a little out of shape, otherwise have to rebreak it and reset it properly.
I actually hate pain.

So yeah, hand would've been fine, now it's maimed, because I'm an idiot who went and hung around a bunch of idiots.
Happens to the best of us. Lesson learned.

No idea what you said 3 months ago but go ahead and ask me what colour bra you were wearing...

He wants them to squish him with a sledgehammer to make him wider because it's a very open minded thing to do?

I did that once and melted the saucepan.