I rear-ended a car this morning. So, there we were alongside the road

and slowly the other driver got out of his car. You know how sometimes

you just get sooooo stressed and little things just seem funny?



Yeah, well I couldn't believe it...he was a DWARF!!!!



He stormed over to my car, looked up at me, and shouted,

'I AM NOT HAPPY!'



So, I looked down at him and said, 'Well, then which one are you?'



And that's when the fight started......

After retiring, I went to the Social Security office to apply for

Social Security. The women behind the counter asked me for my driver's

license to verify my age. I looked in my pockets and realized I had

left my wallet at home.

I told the woman that I was very sorry, but I would have to go home

and come back later.



The woman said, 'Unbutton your shirt'. So I opened my shirt

revealing my curly silver hair. She said, 'That silver hair on your

chest is proof enough for me' and she processed my Social

Security application.



When I got home, I excitedly told my wife about my experience

at the Social Security office.



She said, 'you should have dropped your pants. You might have

gotten disability, too.'

And that's when the fight started....

When I got home last night, my wife demanded that I take her

someplace expensive...so, I took her to a gas station.....

And that's when the fight started.

My wife sat down on the couch next to me as I was flipping channels.

She asked, 'What's on TV?'

I said, 'Dust.'

And that's when the fight started.

too bad he wasn't in Massachusetts
lol
they might have gone easier on him

i think i need an interpreter

I think all they did was decriminalize possession of small amounts of marijuana, making getting caught with less than an ounce of pot punishable by a civil fine of $100. The change in the law means someone found carrying dozens of joints will no longer be reported to the state's criminal history board.

just take them back unopened and tell them you changed your mind...you're not remodeling...
go to a different store and buy your paint HA HA

indubida....indubat....indubb....you're right

i've heard that freezing temperatures destroys the paint

no....you're right....i was just curious

The % of sales paid by the grocery stores is supposed to go to the deficit in the state.
Unfortunately they're not looking at the downside of it. Lost jobs, increase in underage access, and putting the extra money in the hands of someone who does not know how to budget New York's money.

*laughs* why do you say that

yea....*smiles* so was my friends 15 year old rottie...big ol' teddy bear...til he snapped, grabbed her face, shook her like a rag doll and then let her go. he sat there wagging his tail not knowing why she was bleeding, holding her face and picking her lip up off the kitchen floor.

omg...i know!!
look at this one!!!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DzZqje04vLE

it's a little on the simple side but you have enough to conjure up conversation...

nice pice by the way... you should add more.

how nice

"are you gonna get a ticket for the lottery?"

"nah, someone won the big one last time. it's only 2 mil right now"

i'd put one on the inside of my thigh before undressing for bed in front of him