Your issues with trust & fear of commitment must be the fruits of your past. (we all are products of our past, one way or the other) Just don't let those issues impact negatively on you future relationships & compromise you of great experiences.

Rather find ways to work on them before moving forth. You've already taken the first step by acknowledging that "you having issues"
That's a first good step in finding help, think you should carry on from that step by consulting relevent people who specialize in helping people overcome such issues.

All the best to you in finding help!!

"Competition in relationships' as opposed to partnership"

Wow how true is that....

I agree with you msharmony.

Was wondering...

Ladies are doing very well these days if I should mussure success & progress by education, careers,investments, financed, cars etc...
We're more previladged than our mothers were back in their days, & exposed to so much information/awereness than they were.

Do you think our indipendancy & exposure to information has a negetive impact on relationships' that we're in? (marriages in particuler)

Our mothers(most of elder ladies) stayed in their marriages (I know that it takes both parties to make a relationship work.

Our mothers were not as educated as we Are (only a few of them)
Not as successful as we are in many ways, but there's something they did right in submission, since they're still committed inspite of the issues they go through & yet young couples somehow fail to make it work wether in marriages or casual relationships'

Hope I didn't offend anyone, since its just a general question.
Share your idea on this ladies please....

1, Pride
2, lack of communication
3, Differences in culture
4, If two individuals are too different, they bound to argue often times
5, Having a third person involved in a relationship
6, Yelling & shouting when arguing
7,If one or both parties don't avail him/her self for quality times, love misses nutrition.
8,Dishonesty
9,If one or both are not willing to compromise
10, If the intentions of being in the relationship are not the same on both parties.

Inspite of how hot he may look, without brains he's a total turn off for me. I'm at the stage were life requires me to make important decisions that could affect my intire future, i'm very choosy & careful of a person i'll consider as a partner. He's either here to team up with me & impact positively in my life or he's not part of me at all without brains.

My previous boyfriend was hot, yet he was such a child. Could just tell in early days that we wen't going anywhere

Was wondering if I would go out on a date with a person I wasn't attracted to, if I enjoyed he's compony & loved he's personality?

I couldn't come up with an answer to this question, instead further questions come forth,

I asked myself: if I were to go out, what would be my intention, since i'm not attracted to him?

If I won't, why not cause the date won't be such a waste after all since I enjoy he's compony & love he's personality?

Then onother question crossed my mind: Is the date always viewed as a potential relationship or its time allocated to be shared with someone, inspite of how one feels about the next part, as long one is willing to avail him/her self?

What are your views on these questions folks?
(hope i'm making sense cause I asked too many questions at once, since one question led to onother)

We get along very well, we'd check on each other every once in while, suppose we're good friend not only because he was my first, think its more of what we've had & how we broke up. The breaking up was peaceful & ceviel from both parties.

He's married now & I support him. Was asked over & over if I ok with the idea before he got married. It was almost as if he was hoping we'll maybe get back together again.

First love always has that remarkable memory...

With me "online dating" is not really my last resort. If I wanted to be in a serious relationship, I would have long ago. I'm not up for that just yet & yes I have met wonderful people here, seeking friendship like I do.

My main reason of joining this site & other sites that i'm a member ofis "the chatt room." I enjoy my own compony & space, more into chatting than verbal conversations. I like interacting with others & see how they think, get their views on issues of life & other matters one may need other peoples' openion.

In short online dating is not my last resort of finding love, however if I do (when ready for something serious) why not, though I'm here so I can meet while interact with my wonderful existing friends.

People are really cool in this site

Much appreciation for the compliment dear, though I think weman are beautiful inspite of their race.

Try partaking in forum chatt, you're most litely to be noticed maybe you'll then get invites. I often don't respond to massages unless one comes accross senseful & interesting, which again can be expossed in the forum chatt when one responds to the asked question.

That's when you then decide if its even worth you reaching out for friends request to that particuler person. Try the live chatt or the forum room for a change, instead of just sending massages to people who haven't even accepted you as a friend.

All the best!!

"You won't find love in the internet"

My answer to the above statement is "YES YOU WILL/CAN find love in due time"
Suppose our experiences are different. Some find love sooner when on others its a question of patience. I'm new in this site yet on my second day after i've joined I met a very special person. We connect & enjoy each others compony. We planning on meeting soon, so we can see how do we relate inperson. There won't be any fomuler or rule on our first date, the only rule that we've both decided to compile with is BEING OUR SELVES in all possible ways & let the conversation lead us. (when we don't even know what we gonna be talking about)

Love can be found online, the only thing I believe we should be concerned about its safety, since the names are not real, information provided could not be real & even the photos are not real.

One more thing I think we should be concerned about is finding ways of sustaining a long distance relationship without misunderstanding one onother during chatt conversations, cause relating online is far different from relating inperson. When talking inperson there's a lot to take from my body language, when online I may alway wonder how well you mean what you're saying, how's your facial expression in what is being said. There's more to be coutious of when chatting online.

Thank you so much friends, I had something to learn from everyones' answer. Much appreciation to you all...

Hello friends!
Just need to ask: What are the signs of a healthy argument in a relationship? Reason i'm asking, i've noted that guys usually pull out from the argument when at times what is being argued about is important.

How does one know if the relationship is strong enough to continue after an argument that shook grounds from both parties?

What are signs of a healthy argument?

Growing up to be the woman that I am now, came up with lots of experiences & lessons to take with as moving forth in life. I now know my worth better than I did before. My being is my personal space. I believe that I have control & influence of things or even people I let into my personal space.

I would never waste time with someone abusive, I'd walk away cause I surely deserve better than tears, fore behind those tears that i'll wipe away, there are emational scares that I won't be able to wipe away like I did with the visible tears.

I love my self enough to be alone than having a partner that will make me cry.

My answer to your question its gonna be more biblical, since its a Christian site, think its ok for one to quote from the bible.

There's an interesting story in Genesis 24 (you can go through it,its a very short chapter)about Isaac's Bride. Just to summerize that story: Abraham's servant was sent to find a bride for Issac (Abraham's son)

The servant had a heart to heart agreement with God, since he wouldn't have known which one was the right one. The agreement with God was that "God i'll go wait by the river side, among all girls who are gonna be there to get water, the one i'm gonna ask for water from, she'll also give to my camel/donkey too."
In my little mind I think the servant must have asked for water from different girls & they gave water & walked away, but this particular girl named Rebekah when asked for water, she offered him & to the camel/donkey that was with the servant. She offered out of her heart, she didn't know anything about the servant having an agreement with God.

Do consult with Him, He'll guid you & give you signs since there's a lot to be vigilant of in early days of a relationship... All the best for you!!

I gree that these chat rooms are helpful & mind opening. I've learned so already through the discussions here about issues of life in general (not only about dating & relationships')

However I personaly think it all depends on the vibe between the two parties, there's so much to pick up in early days of dating or being in a relationship. Let's see where the conversation takes us, if somehow we end up talking about our ex's, its ok. We gonna have this conversation anyway. If we have it on our first date, I don't see anything wrong. I'll rather be concerned about how do we relate when talking about sensitive matters like that, cause a future of a healthy relationship depends on communication & honesty, not on how soon we've spoken about our past relationships.

Availing my self to go out with you is my first sign of showing interest in you & getting to know you will often reflect your past, cause it has made you who you are today. In short... There's no fomuler on what to say & not to say on a first date, the conversation will lead you. If past relationships come forth, then its fine. Its more of how we talk about them.

mine is:
"Be the change that you want to see

Wow I like.... Well said!

Honesty, willingness & acceptance.

(So sorry I missed the instruction earlier "DESCRIBE IN ONE LINE")

Since we're unique individuals, we're surely different, I think finding a common ground after expressing our differences is a key to a healthy relationship. Therefore communication & honesty is very vital, since that's the only way of finding out about our differences & where we're common.