Before going to date we have to know how to behave with him/her. Whether it’s a compliment or a complaint, do not talk about your ex-partners. Your first date is also an indication of a new start. Focus on the person you are presently with. Let your date know you are interested in getting to know better about him/her.

I agree.

I think that I would want to know how long it had been since someone that I was going to be dating had been in a relationship and also why they were single and other things like whether or not they have been in a longterm relationship. Too many people out there not being honest about that stuff to not want to know about it and it would be pretty hard to talk about it without saying something about past relationships.

Of course there are problems with talking about past relationships with a new partner and perhaps you might just want to keep the conversation light on a first date. You are going to have to talk about these things sometime though, unless you think that you can just cover them up. I've got an ex girlfriend that didn't tell her new boyfriend that she was in a relationship with me for three years before she met him. She's ended up using one lie to cover up another about that and I don't think that that's a particularly great way to build a relationship.

I agree. Before going to date is what this place can be for. Don't be afraid all to ask questions here. Besides learning stuff it really helps the site.

I don't hide past relationships, but the last thing I want on a first date is some guy whining about how bad his past relationships were. It's happened and there wasn't a second date.

I gree that these chat rooms are helpful & mind opening. I've learned so already through the discussions here about issues of life in general (not only about dating & relationships')

However I personaly think it all depends on the vibe between the two parties, there's so much to pick up in early days of dating or being in a relationship. Let's see where the conversation takes us, if somehow we end up talking about our ex's, its ok. We gonna have this conversation anyway. If we have it on our first date, I don't see anything wrong. I'll rather be concerned about how do we relate when talking about sensitive matters like that, cause a future of a healthy relationship depends on communication & honesty, not on how soon we've spoken about our past relationships.

Availing my self to go out with you is my first sign of showing interest in you & getting to know you will often reflect your past, cause it has made you who you are today. In short... There's no fomuler on what to say & not to say on a first date, the conversation will lead you. If past relationships come forth, then its fine. Its more of how we talk about them.

Ain't nothing worse than spending a date listening to someone yammer about their ex.

It was a failure. If that is all they can talk about...they ain't over it and you will waste your time trying to not be the person who did them wrong.

Disconnect the dots...be on your way.

Find a lover and leave that loser to pine for the dirtbag who already dumped em.

I don't hide my past relationships.

I hide from my past relationships.
Thankfully, none of them live on planet Earth.

Ya,but what if this person was just taking the style of the

First prospective discussed here and is doing a very good job of suppressing

their true feeligs .
Then all this eminence hurt could all start to come out slowly like

"What's wrong, their something bothering you" "nothing,nothings wrong"!

Thats kind of scenario where you spend months trying to probe it out of them.

Be mindful of the fact that now you may be in love and they may still be love

Sick for sombody else, among other disturbing issues.

Myself thats the best thing they can do over dinner, at least you no what your up against

right away.

So for me at dinner its obvious that its "gone south" them I just say to them,

" Listen, this date ain't workin out so why dont we just go " Dutch" on the bill & just

have sex in the can"?......thats me anyway,

It's no big deal.

I can sum up my past relationships pretty quickly....we don't see each other anymore...end of story.

nothing wrong with sharing one's past, (if the relationship gets to that point) but there is a difference between scars and wounds. if you are still aiding your wounds, perhaps dating should be put on hold.

obviously I am not trying to hide my past relationships. I even have mentioned them on here now & then. but I agree they are not a suitable topic for the first, the second, or ANY date unless there becomes a real need to know....based in minimun on that fact that he & I have been growing closer and it looks like it is getting serious


even then it's a need to know basis at MY descretion

and i grant him the same

I do not talk about past relationships on a first date. My first dates are fun and enjoying One another, we don't have time to discuss past partners. I do not hide past relationships. If we continue on to a third date then is when we get into more personal things.

I agree. There is a time and place to open up and a first date is not the time nor place to just let it all out,,,,,lol

I think you just have to exept it,our past with the people we chose to
spend it with is a big part of our identity as well, our jobs.
So maybee this other person has been with this other for a long
time in a co-dependant relationship and all their convesation
is going to include their X ,or they wont have conversation.
That dosent make her undesirable in my books
They may have been living a very active life together,
nothing wrong with it.
Now your take that mother out that is just spending time
with her 2 year old, well that usually dosent lead to anymore
that, I want to get me " some"

I've had terrible fight with a new girlfriends because she found out
latter that I had an Africa g f before her.

...lol she would always try and talk my X down whenever the opportunity
presented it self .
So the GF had been aground the stores that week buyin all this costume jewelry
which she was realy happy with, then when she was picking a fight & was
putting down my X , well to fuel the fire I said, She would never wear
Costume jewelry! What!!! What did I just say

WHAT AN IDIOT! !!...she was so happy & proud of all the cool
things she got, getting home showing me.
That was it, on the way over to the gardage with all, she said
Your buying me all real stuff tomorrow' she was perfectly happy!!

Has to be top 5 stupidest things to say to a woman!!!!
She got clued in real quick..laughed & rubbed my face in

So when does the time come for one to start getting serious, i'm getting rusty!

I'll admit it! ..but really what I'm getting at is how long after that does the

Head splits open and the lizard come out??

I no its after fornication some time, at a guess I'd say anywhere from

3 seconds to 3 months depending on ths woman.

Same with me. That's because planet Earth doesn't have an extradition treaty with ... err ...

Never mind.

I concur.. there's nothing more boring, annoying and down right offensive than having to suffer through a monologue of epic relationship failures with their ex (or exes).. especially on a first date..

I guess it depends on what you feel "getting serious" means. Does it mean going on and on about how your exes were awful? I honestly do not want to hear a guy whining about his exes. It's a complete turn off.

agree - it's the fastest way to get ME to exit out the bathroom window...lol