A college boy gives his book to a girl with a love letter in it. He wrote saying,
"If you love me, then you should wear a red color dress tomorrow."

Next day she comes wearing a yellow color dress and returns his book. Seeing this, the boy felt very bad and never looked at her afterwards.

Years went by. That girl got married.

One day, while cleaning his shelf, the book returned by her fell down and a chit came out.

Message was, "I love you too ❤... I do not have a red Color Dress... Sorry"

Moral: Students should open their text books once in a while.

Note - Now please don't sit filtering all your old books...

Your time has passed... look after your children and grand children.,:::::::::🤣🤣🤣🤣
🤣

ctto

THE OSTRICH!

A man walks into a restaurant with a full-grown ostrich behind him. The waitress asks them for their orders. The man says, "A hamburger, fries and a coke," and turns to the ostrich, "What's yours?"

"I'll have the same." says the ostrich.

A short time later the waitress returns with the order. "That will be $9.40 please.”

The man reaches into his pocket and pulls out the exact change for payment.

The next day, the man and the ostrich come again and the man says, "A hamburger, fries and a coke please.”

The ostrich says, "I'll have the same."

Again the man reaches into his pocket and pays with exact change.

This becomes routine until the two enter again.

"The usual?" asks the waitress.

"No, this is friday night, so I will have a steak, baked potato and a salad." says the man.

"Same," says the ostrich.

Shortly the waitress brings the order and says, "That will be $32.62."

Once again the man pulls the exact change out of his pocket and places it on the table.

The waitress cannot hold back her curiosity any longer. "Excuse me, Sir. How do you manage to always come up with the exact change in your pocket every time?"

"Well," says the man, "several years ago I was cleaning the attic and found an old lamp. When I rubbed it, a Genie appeared and offered me two wishes. My first wish was that if I ever had to pay for anything, I would just put my hand in my pocket and the right amount of money would always be there."

"That's brilliant!" says the waitress. "Most people would ask for a million dollars or something, but you'll always be as rich as you want for as long as you live!"

"That's right. Whether it's a liter of milk or a Rolls Royce, the exact money is always there." says the man.

The waitress asks, "What's with the ostrich?"

The man sighs, pauses and answers, "My second wish was for a tall chick with a big *** and long legs who agrees with everything I say.”

A new camp commander was appointed and while inspecting the place, he saw 2 soldiers guarding a bench.

He went over there and asked them why they guard it.

"We don't know. The last commander told us to do so, and so we did. It is some sort of regimental tradition!"

He searched for the last commander's phone number and called him to ask him why did he want guards on this particular bench.

"I don't know. The previous commander had guards, and I kept the tradition."

Going back another 3 commanders, he found a new 100-year-old retired General.

"Excuse me, sir. I'm now the CO of the camp you commanded 60 years ago. I've found 2 men assigned to guard a bench. Could you please tell me more about the bench?"

"What?! Is the paint still wet?!"

A very touching story

Husband forgot to wish his wife on her birthday. He came home late at night from the office…

His wife said: “How would you feel if you don’t see me for the next few days?”

He couldn’t believe his luck. He replied at once. “Wow… That would be great…!”

Monday passed and he didn’t see her.
Tuesday he didn’t see her.
Wednesday he didn’t see her
and Thursday passed too.

On Friday the swelling was better and he could already see her from the corner of his left eye.
🤣

interrogator

competition

gator

A young doctor had moved out to a small community to replace a doctor who was retiring.
The older doctor suggested that the young one accompany him on his rounds, so the community could become used to a new doctor.
At the first house a woman complains, "I've been a little sick to my stomach."
The older doctor says, "Well, you've probably been overdoing the fresh fruit. Cut back on the amount you've been eating and see if that does the trick?"
As they left, the younger man said, "You didn't even examine that woman? How'd you come to the diagnosis so quickly?"
"I didn't have to. You noticed I dropped my stethoscope on the floor in there? When I bent over to pick it up, I noticed a half dozen banana peels in the trash. That was what probably was making her sick."
The younger doctor said "Pretty clever. If you don't mind, I think I'll try that at the next house."
Arriving at the next house, they spent several minutes talking with a younger woman. She said that she just didn't have the energy she once did and said, "I'm feeling terribly run down lately."
"You've probably been doing too much for the Church," the younger doctor told her. "Perhaps you should cut back a bit and see if that helps."
As they left, the elder doctor said, "I know that woman well. Your diagnosis is almost certainly correct, she's very active in the church, but how did you arrive at it?"
"I did what you did at the last house. I dropped my stethoscope and, when I bent down to retrieve it, I noticed the vicar under the bed.🤣

Happy Bday Pumpi...may all your wishes be pumped up and be granted sissy.

A young lady was swimming at a pool and was having a great time burning calories and keeping fit.

To her horror, she found that her swimsuit had torn open at the bottom leaving her bit exposed.

Using her hands to cover up her modesty, she stealthily exited the pool by the side and grabbed a nearby sign to cover up.

This somehow got her more attention, and she looked down at the sign.

“Depth 1.8metres"

Slightly embarrassed, she got rid of that sign and quickly grabbed another.

More stares came her way ...... the sign read:

“Men's entrance"

She could sense her face getting redder by the moment, threw away the sign and grabbed the last one she could grab.

Practically everyone was looking at her now, if not for the spectacle she was causing, but also for what was now on that sign.

“Repairs ongoing, please enter from the rear"

Utilizator

Narrator

Wots is Slim looks fab in purple..nice dp slimilicious!!!

Incinerator

Dehydrator

Alternator

vibration

i like you because you prioritize me each day,saying good morning means u remember me first as u start your day

i like you because you like me too

APPLE LOVE