pencil me in.

hey any one wanna help???

I love that!!! and boyoboy ai am feeling cookie monster!!

man you just made me pee my pants!!! LMAO

Amen!!!

how cold???

hell hath no furry as a women scorned!!! I am tired of being the fool!!!

how did it feel? was it worth it?

thanks all a hard time of year

I did not have him in me life long, 3 1/2 years. Yet the amount of life we lived in these years was enormous.

Christmas was a special time for us both and he gave me many gifts. The greatest of these was my son.

Things happened fast for us. After being together for only six months we knew that we planned to be together for life.

The first christmas we shared together, we went on a ornament buying spree and more than a responsible amount of money was spent to start the foundation of what we believed would be our own little family's tradition.

We had spoken with excitement and wonder about while growing up, when the Christmas ornaments were unearthed, pulled down from attics, dragged out from under beds. he was an only child so he never had to fight over certain perceived to be special ornaments with siblings.neither did he have heated debates each year over which tree to buy.

So that first Christmas he let me pick the tree and we both chose several ornaments from the Waterford collection, something unheard of in our 5 and 10 world of ornaments.

Once we dressed the tree, however,it became apparent that it was too sparse

and we had to run to the dollar store to fill in the empty spaces

By our second Christmas we were married and our ornaments were not used. We spent the holidays with his recently widowed mother on the other side of the country. She was herself quite ill but more so because of her lack of will to go on without her love.

Still she had reason to celebrate. her only son of 46 years was finally married and she got extra jolly when we mentioned the family we planned to have.

I am certain that her prayer had a lot to do with our son either being conceived in her house or shortly thereafter. She would declare the sex of our child long before the doctors could. She was right though she never actually got to see him.

Our third Christmas was magical for we were three. our little less than 3month old son added 3 ornaments to our collection. A brass crescent moon with his name and birth date engraved and with a star hanging from it with a locket size picture of him. A hallmark ornament given to him by my mother of a teddy bear holding a #1 and a banner reading, "Baby's first X-mas" and a Waterford baby's bottle which also has his name on it.

we would not have forth Christmas. Almost, we were preparing and had taken our first family Christmas picture to send.

My son is 8 now and I an left to recount the meaning of each ornament. We continue our family tradition by us each choosing a new ornament each year.

This year, two days ago we lost an ornament Charles had chosen that first Christmas. I had teased him about it. it was a Snowman with a jovial smile, so much like his. It hit the ground, my son apologized. I was surprised that I did not get upset. the paper thin glass could no withstand the wooden floor.

It was like life uncertain and fragile

Can you relate?

I have packed the notion

of being a Femme Fatale

realizing that one

cannot be both

seducer and caregiver.

DUH

The "Fatale" means

to never feel or love.

I have tidily folded all the

stocking, garters, corsets, bustiers

pretty bras and panties I once wore

for others

they are stained with tears and far less alluring

Ironically

than those I now wear for myself but everyone wants to see.

I threw in all the love letter

I wrote

in triplicate

still waiting a reply.

In the corners I stuffed the fantasies

of prince charming,

of being rescued or rescuing,

those romantic glances from across crowed rooms,

the misguided aspiration of meeting at a gallery, concert, play, lecture

you catch my drift.

In between each layer i wrung my hands of

all the bitterness and envy for the

women who won.

I've scattered every potion, remedy and adage

about capturing the perfect love.

I opened an artery and vein to purge, leech out memories and hopes.

My eye teeth and piss will represent

my pain and anger of never

to know my "Soulmate" or DIVINE LOVE etc...

I bought a one way ticket to the one place

on earth

I would never go.

I will check the bag

without

I.D. tags.

I have no intention

of claiming it

and I DO NOT want the contents

traced back to me.

My little ball of ego
is running fierce tonight
and dreaming of
all sorts of revenge
for being scorned
breaking, slashing, scratching, bashing
kicking in and
a certain fat head on a plate
OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
Salome
recalled MY innocence corrupted
first abused
then rejected
MY ego spits
cool venom to paralyze MY prey
so I could eat his heart out
yet he can only blink
oh-oh-oh-ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
how it longs to rape and pillage
your every smile
burn to the ground
your peace of mind forever more
the eyes of GOD
replaced with mine
so vengeance quick and sure
instead
I breath in the good
desperate to eradicate
each and every thought of
you kissing touching loving me
"youve made it all soooooooooooooooo
DIRTY NOW"
my little petty ego cries
I KNOW
i am so much BIGGER
than these visions
of revenge
the love i gave
you took
was but a single drop
within the ocean of
ME
and too
the comfort bliss release
I felt when in your charms
one day to cherish
as the weight of
NOW fades inevitably into
Then

" the chances i took in free falling with you " is tearing my heart out!!!!

i was suspended for posting inappropriate pictures.

The Supreme Court throw out the case against Obama, not being an american citizen.http://latimesblogs.latimes.com/.shared/image.html?/photos/uncategorized/2008/06/13/bobirthcertificate.jpg

or hoe you ex is milking you for all you are worth.

He has mine

thanks, i missed you guys

This would be funny if it wasn't so true.

I pissed my pants