Community > Posts By > Citizen_Joe

 
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Sun 12/20/09 09:16 PM
Edited by Citizen_Joe on Sun 12/20/09 09:17 PM
You know that saying, "Water seeks its own level"? It's pretty much true. This time, I'm actually the less stable but more experienced on the topic. I'm absolutely amazed by her level of understanding, even in my most acute states, mostly based on fear of being hurt, or my brain misinterpreting her. I never get far, at most 3 days, before her kindness reels me back in. The last episode, was down to a half day, at which point I pulled away and drove to a job site. By the time I was enroute back home and gotten a handle on my emotions and thoughts, she had gotten a text from me telling her I love her and apologizing for taking so long to tell her.

It probably helps a lot that we're both open and honest with each other, and then again, for at least me, my own mental illness isn't stigma matter. It's a part of what makes me who I am, and in many ways, is a gift, in fact such a gift that in my field, I'm actually the best. There's really no room for shame when it comes to mental illness. The shame would be to deny the gifts that come with it, as well as the level of intimacy two people are capable of, even with mental illness, and sometimes especially because of it. I have no reason to hide my illness.

Bipolar II, alcoholic, sober 6 1/2 years, and recovering JW, non-religious 29 years.

Citizen_Joe's photo
Sun 12/20/09 08:39 PM



beautiful rose joe... congrats to u on your happiness!!

My happiness is her happiness.


love is, a happy overwhelming feeling inside sometimes a feeling that is a sense of peace... like drving down the freeway thinking of your loved one with a big smile on your face.... and feeling so happy when

Oh, loved one... Not ex-loved one? Nevermind, I thought I heard a thump-bap-thump.


u think of them.. missing your exit deep into thought about the good things and joy they bring in your heart..and being thankful you didnt have to be on that exit at a certain time. now u have a longer time to think about them cause u drove too far lol!


Think GPS. Yea I'm feeling really blessed, to be one who brings her and hers happiness. That's where it really comes from, especially this time of year. It's been years since I've felt inspired this way.
lol gps! turn right in 30 seconds off the exit! well i dont need a gps now.. but great idea lollaugh


Never trust a GPS when you're on a bridge and angry or depressed.

Citizen_Joe's photo
Sun 12/20/09 07:36 PM

beautiful rose joe... congrats to u on your happiness!!

My happiness is her happiness.


love is, a happy overwhelming feeling inside sometimes a feeling that is a sense of peace... like drving down the freeway thinking of your loved one with a big smile on your face.... and feeling so happy when

Oh, loved one... Not ex-loved one? Nevermind, I thought I heard a thump-bap-thump.


u think of them.. missing your exit deep into thought about the good things and joy they bring in your heart..and being thankful you didnt have to be on that exit at a certain time. now u have a longer time to think about them cause u drove too far lol!


Think GPS. Yea I'm feeling really blessed, to be one who brings her and hers happiness. That's where it really comes from, especially this time of year. It's been years since I've felt inspired this way.

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Sun 12/20/09 06:27 PM

I don't think love is an emotion. I personally think it only happens when the brain shuts down...


That happens too. laugh

Citizen_Joe's photo
Sun 12/20/09 06:18 PM
By allowing yourself to feel it for as long as it lasts.

Citizen_Joe's photo
Sun 12/20/09 05:47 PM
I'm sure there are a lot of answers to this question, each one unique. What I feel for one woman in my life is like nothing I've felt before, so much so that it makes me question whether or not I've ever been in love before. So I told her, and have been proving it to her all along.

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Sun 12/20/09 07:41 AM
waving


Citizen_Joe's photo
Sun 12/20/09 07:28 AM

:heart: If you had to make a choice between someone you love or your career, what would you choose?:heart:


Here's a thought. If I have to chose between the two, I've already made a wrong choice in love, or career.

Citizen_Joe's photo
Sat 12/19/09 10:18 PM
Edited by Citizen_Joe on Sat 12/19/09 10:20 PM
I'm just grateful for those times when my brain does actually shut off. I only remember the weird ones. Usually of the psycho-kinetic or truly demented ones, barely qualifying as a nightmare. I think I'll pass on the skank dreams, thankyouverymuch.

That dream was pretty simple to understand. I was living out the consequence of not following my heart. It pretty much resulted in an increased commitment to the current owner of said heart. smitten

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Sat 12/19/09 09:54 PM
You're on your own on this one. I'll get the popcorn.

Citizen_Joe's photo
Sat 12/19/09 07:18 PM
We always know. It's whether or not we want to know that matters.

Citizen_Joe's photo
Sat 12/19/09 06:46 PM
Ask her. She could simply want to have a sense of self-worth, or she might just not be into you.

Citizen_Joe's photo
Sat 12/19/09 06:29 PM
100% being willing to risk all. Yep, that about covers it, if you're going for a heart shot.

bigsmile

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Sat 12/19/09 06:11 PM
I wouldn't move an inch. I'm supposed to be here. Now more than ever, I know I was supposed to be here in the first place. I only wish I'd met her sooner.

Citizen_Joe's photo
Sat 12/19/09 06:04 PM
It's as much of a dance as it is an adventure.

Citizen_Joe's photo
Fri 12/18/09 10:14 PM

There are currently no more Mutual Match candidates for you.




:cry:


Has anyone actually successfully engaged in any meaningful conversation with any of their mutual matches? I mean really! One added me for a really important reason. I got a pool table. spock In this inbred town with inbred thinking, I'm just grateful my real match isn't even on a dating site.

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Fri 12/18/09 09:34 PM



:heart: Do you think that the music people listen to can affect the way they perceive love?:heart:


You could be onto something there. Most love songs aren't really about love.

Citizen_Joe's photo
Thu 12/17/09 11:02 PM
I fully expect those numbers to change by the time I get there. No sense wasting time worrying about it. Time is better spent enjoying life.

Citizen_Joe's photo
Thu 12/17/09 09:41 PM

Some people are ****ing retards :banana: drinks smokin


One less, apparently.

Citizen_Joe's photo
Thu 12/17/09 09:26 PM
There is no line.