"love to read the lords book and soft porn on special occasions.."


Two great things that go great together.

"I'm not ugly like most girls on here I don't need online datingg."



Of course you don't. You just like getting lewd emails, I'm sure.

"As I write this I am looking at the water and islands and see that the light has caught the edge of a sailboat dancing on the sea. I breath a sigh of gratitude for being able to witness these changes everyday."


As I read this I feel the shadow of hopelessness and depression settle over me.

"When our eyes connect accross the room at a friend's party-we know what the other is thinking"



Is it, "Can you get me a soda while you're over there?"

"My motto for life is: Live, Love, Laugh. Give me a click if you find any of this interesting...."



I don't know what it means to give you a click. Fortunately I don't find any of it interesting.

"I often blurt out the first thing that comes to my mind."


I think the medical term is Tourette Syndrome.

"I eat popcorn with chopsticks."


Translation: I like to make the simplest tasks as difficult as possible.

"I have a year old son whom i stay home and take care of he is my pride and joy. He is my little miracle literally. He is so smart and loves to observe what everyones doing around him which i love at times lol."



Tell him to get his own profile.

"no drugs however, i am 420 friendly "



So you don't do drugs... you're just nice to them?

"my yellow lab of 11 years recently went to doggie heavan"


Maybe he was a bad dog.....

"And iam lookin for some one 2 accept me and my kids and have a great
Personality and looking for someone that has a great personality"


What kind of personality are you looking for?

"I really want to be a kind of doctor when I graduate from college."


Well sure you do. We call that "Pretending".

"Face the Sunshine and the Shadows Shall Fall Behind You" That is what I live by each day!! "


You must have like the most uneven tan ever.

"Hello,I am going to make this brief until we meet again"


Again? This is like the opposite of deja vu.

"im 36 single brownish hair like dirt bikes"


How much like a dirt bike could it be?

"I'm a drink my beer and drop the peanut shells on the floor kind of girl."



That's cute at the ballpark, but it's going to get irritating if I have to vacuum every time you come over.

"I'll talk about my hobbies, I promise. I just need a little more time to complete my profile. This is my first time on any sort of dating site, so I ask for your patience. Thank you!"


Apparently there's no real need to talk about your hobbies if you post a suggestive picture.

"I know who I am, do you? "



I think the whole premise here is based on me not knowing who you are.

"keens jeans tee shirt trails dirt waves beer campfires laughter heels silk perfume lipstick candlelight romance red wine tease soft kisses par bogey dbl bogey laughter competition winner loser.payouts wind loud engines skinny jeans boots tanktops sunlight moonlight leather helmets buzzed loud music dancing micro brews bikinis flipflops ginger melon lemonade sails fish bbq"


I'm not sure what this all means, but I think it moves you to the top of the search engine for men looking for women wearing flip flops and skinny jeans.

"i would sleep with kenney chesney in a heartbeat!!!!!! "


I think we're going to have to word the vows very carefully.....