A little boy comes home from school 1 day and asks his mum " hey mum, what does ****head mean?"
His mother replies " well son ****head means visitor, when you have someone over to your house thats a ****head."
The next day the little boy comes home and says" mum, what does **** mean?"
The mum says " sh!t means food son."
Next day he comes home and says " hey mum, what does f#@k mean?"
Mum says " f#@k means getting dressed."

The next weekend the mum is getting ready for a dinner party when the doorbell rings.
The little boy jumps up and runs to the door. he opens it and says" hello ****heads, sh!ts on the table, mums upstairs getting f#@ked!!

Whats the definition of suspicious??
A nun doin push ups in a cucumber field!!

What meat do preists eat on fridays?
NUN!

3 Construction workers,2 aussies and an irishman, are sitting atop a 50 story building. The first aussie looks at his lunch and says " bloody hell lettuce sandwiches again, if i get this 4 lunch again 2morro im gunna jump of here and kill myself."
The second aussie looks at his lunch and says "sh!t, tomato sandwiches, if i get this 4 lunch 2morro im gunna jump off here and kill myself."
The irishman looks at his lunch and says " cheese sandwiches, if i get these 2morro im gunna do the same."

Sure enough the next day at work the 3 men all get the same lunch again so they all jump off the building to there death.

A couple of days later the wives are consoling each other at the funeral. the two aussie wives say " i dont understand if he had of just told me i would of made him something different" The irishmans wife says " you think thats bad, my husband made his own lunch."

Thanks mate.

Whats the definition of agony?
Sliding down a 40ft razor blade, using your balls for brakes and landing in a puddle of metho.

Whats the definition of unlucky?
Sitting next to Elle Macpherson on the bus and she has a sign around her neck saying roots 4 a dollar and you only have 99 cents.

Damn thats nasty!!!!!!

There once was a priest named Keith,
Who circumcised men with his teeth.
It wasn't for lesuire,
Or sexual pleasure,
It was to get at the cheese underneath!

I wouldn't drink xxxx even if it was free. give me a new anyday!!

I'll take that bet jess. You owe me 1 schooner. I've never bin in the army......

Have you heard about the australian kiss?
Its just like a french kiss but down under!!

Any one from the land downunder??

Whats the difference between a freezer and anal sex?
A freezer dosen't fart when you pull your meat out!!

Whats the difference between a paycheque and a penis?
You don't have to beg your wife to blow your paycheque!!

Whats the difference between love and herpes?
Herpes lasts forever!

Happy new year all other aussies out there. hope you all have a prosperus 2008. Party on!!!!

lol.......we're all comideans aren't we.

Any aussies in here that love the cricket??

not it.....lol

Just wondering how everybody is feeling bout new years eve.... i just can't seem to get into party mode this year...

lol....... nice