I heard the news , that I really didnt thing would come,
He is going away...My Heart feels so glum.

I tried so hard, at least I think I did,
to let him know I was hit by Cupid.

My feelings for him suddenly grew so strong,
In my world, I so believed he would belong.

We have such intense fun,
But in my Heart it's not just about that part,
I have fallen for him, he has caputured my Heart.

I know I did and said so much wrong,
My mind's full of confusion & the signals he sends,
are far from the words in our song !

It's all about timing......

Two people found each other when their lives have so much going on.
All the change and pain.
But my love for him, so true shall remain.

I wonder if it was me and my actions that drove him away ?
I wonder if I had been honest and true,
would he have decided to stay ?

At times I feel like he is so into me,
But then at times I feel like the crazy fun times is all he can see.
If I knew for sure that he really loved me too,
I would change my foolish ways, and to him be oh so true !

I cannot stand to go through the pain I forsee ahead !
I came out of such turmoil, with all the changes in the past.
I didn't even consider I would feel what I said !

Dear Lord, was this another person who was just a season and a reason for a short time ?
To begin with, he wasn't even mine ??

Hurtful words were said...I know the impact my words had in his head !
I guess I was tring to get him back,
by saying mean hurtful things and confessing all that smack !

I wish I had been a different person for him,
I wonder...would that have given us a chance,
to grow our love, passion and romance ?

I want to sit and analyse how we went wrong, BUT
my broken heart cannot be that strong !

Please give me strength to accept what has been cast.
I so blame myself and all the corrupt in my past !

Lord, if by some miracle we could talk, accept and be truthful on how we both feel,
I would want nothing more in the world than for our feelings to reveal.... and for him to just say "Babe, I've decided to stay !"

I promise I will turn my whole life around,
no bad habits, no messing around,
just keeping my Heart true for him, all safe and sound !

I feel like this is all a bad dream right now.
I feel like I blew my chance with him,
by my distasteful actions, thats how !

"If u love something, set if free" ...he once said those words to me.
But how can I let my love go away from me.
I dont think the time in between will ease my pain, you see !

During these toughest moments of my life,
why did my Heart choose to love again.
Only to set up my world for failure and pain !

I sit here today, in a daze.
I Pray this day gets better and the feeling of daze is just a short lived phase !

Baby....
My love for you is so intense !
You are not my rebound guy, that makes no sense.
I know in my Heart what is true,
I honestly am in love with you !
The worse I feared has come so soon,
my beating Heart can't help but feel the ruin.

My only hope for this situation, I Pray,
If he is meant to go, let me accept the change and move on my own way.

Let me not live my days with heartache and pain,
Let me not go over and over the situation with disdain !

I want myself to be able to handle it,
no drama, no throwing a fit !

If he can decide to just walk away with no remorse,
then can I get that attitude to let my life run it's course ?

I told him to do what he has to, with no regret.
Little did I know I was the path he chose to forget.

Just take a deep breath girl, and know it will be alright !
God's strength and grace will help you win this fight.

Don't be ashamed of whats been said and done.
You made the most of it and yes, you did have fun !

Today I take a stand....
I shall not wear my Heart on my sleeve !
I will be a strong woman, for my loss I shall grieve...
But, only for a little while,
then I will adopt a cold, Heartless style !

I believe today is exactly where I am meant to be !
The man upstairs obviously has other plans for me.
I am ready, Dear Lord...
Come take this feelings away.
Show me positivity and happiness from this day !

Baby...

Good luck my love in whatever you do !
Know in your Heart you are loved so true.
It really was great knowing you all this time,
even though you were never really mine.
Know I will never forget your sweet smile,
how you made me laugh till it hurt, with your goofy style !
I wish you eternal happiness and all the luck in the world !
Goodbye my Angel, love you always...Your broken hearted girl !

Well thank you MM....still going on..yup encountered some obstacels too...but hey...thats all part of the ride right !? Take care, BA

Well....who knew.
After months of heart ache & pain,
when I thought I would never feel those butterflies again.
There you showed up, & our meeting was such a funny story too,
which is what made my bruised heart even less blue.

The fact that you're so cute and silly all in one....
You made me laugh so hard...it's been forever since I've had that much fun.
It is kinda scarey, co's things are happening so fast.
Could this just be a rebound to get over my past ?

I Pray these feelings are oh so true....how could they not be for a beautiful Angel like you.
I will take it day by day and see where we go...all I know for now, you have me, like I am your play doh.

I am a rambling little mess around you..cant help it, thats just what your charms make me do !
WOW... my very own 300 [personal joke]...u know what I mean....and yes, my King Leonidus, I shall be your queen **blush**
There is hope after all....life goes on...new scenes show up and the ride gets out of this world !

I am on my ride right now, and I aint gettin out...
so thank you for being you My Sweet Angel,
I had to write this... either write or stand on my roof top and shout !!!!!

Mwwwwwahhhhhhhh !

willy_cents u so hit that one on the head

"Tooshay"...Most of the time both men & ladies like that mulit persona characters...keeps it naughty but nice, dirty but clean, gentle but rough...you get the picture... LOL

I haven't seen PS yet...at this stage I get tunnel vision focus only on GB with any movie he is in.

Oh... there were women in the movie ?????? LOL.....HHHmmmm ok so now I have to go watch it again[any excuse to check out GB] & try to c if I can point out any women in that movie.

No... seriously, those women were exotic & beautiful too !

I am totally with you lonelyshorty...those bods rocked ! It was a chic/guy combo flick. The guys " Oh Yea !!!" and the gals "OOOoohhh AAAhhhhh" during the kick*** scenes...LOL
Did u c Gerard Butler in the Phantom of the Opera ? Wow what a difference in character !!! But still a hottie...but if u r a GB fan u know that & more about Our King...

Thank you for sharing..and I do hope with time...heart ache and pain will dissolve.

Thanks u guys

I am right at this very point....I know the pain...but I Pray with each day the healing will begin.

Today I decided I had to let it out ....speak my mind and tell the Truth without a fuss nor shout.

But beware, one might want to vent and just let it all go, but what u hear in return might not be the Truth YOU wanted to know.

Yes, how it hurt to hear what I suspected all along...at first I wanted so bad to believe that all the suspicisons were all wrong.

I figured I too would speak the Truth and maybe gather from that some inner Peace of mind...Needless to say, my Truth treated him just as unkind.

When we come to a stage in life where one wants to just give up... the burden so heavy on our shoulders weigh..Ahhhhhh... lets just let it out and speak the Truth and go about each day.

Well, it was not as easy as one may have thought when, before we heard each others Truths....the hurt and betrayal I won't wish upon my enemies, to fit in their boots !

The words just kept coming, as I thought this was an Inner Healing for me...but too late after you say them and realise those Truths hurt most for both him and for me.

Oh how I wished this moment would all go away....could this have just been a sad dream which I shall forget by the next day ?

These Truths we are told to speak with sincere Honesty...but one has no control of the heart ache and tears that seem to flow so naturally !

Oh... to just tell the Truth and be set free....I wish that would come as easily....my Heart hurts for the one's I broke, but when his Truths came out...my Heart did feel the poke...the Truth was so painful but also a calm, and somehow I see how the Truth may not do as much harm.

So today with our Truths spoken he was on his way...will we both get our Healings we hope for ???...when ???...maybe the next day ???

So yes, the Truth shall set one free BUT be prepared my friends for the Heart Ache that comes with that bit of Honesty.

Right now I am numb, maybe feeling a little betrayed and a little hurt, but it was my decision that we both would come clean with our Truths and with that be very curt !

With this New Year came such broken Heart and pain...will I ever be able to find unconditional love again ?

Yes, today I think my Truth did set me free....I purged all the built up hostile and negativity.

For him though, I think it was more difficult to take, co's my Truths definately brought him more heart ache.....

SO with each day passing by...I shall remember this day, when we both said our Truths and said goodbye

That King Leonidus put some wind in my sails....LOL...and those ab's....WOW !!! Oh yes, I almost forgot...the storyline right ? Er...there was a story line....yup..abs...I mean, cool movie, and them abs LOL !!!!

When I started my journey of self pity and heart ache strain, little did I realise there were so many others who have dealt with the same pining and heart felt pain.
I have found support is so many friends, when I was so close to thinking that this was how my life's journey ends.
I was able to smile and say, u know what...it is gonna be ok.

Stuff happens for a reason...be it I was crushed during what was supposed to be a Blessed Holiday season.
At first I hounded my thoughts with what did I do, what should I have done, am I that bad of a person, why me...then I realised, maybe the big Man up there wanted to set me free.

It may have come in the form of a soul stomping heartache of pain which at one stage I thought would never go away..the hurt cut so deep, that on this Earth I no longer wanted to stay.

I wanted to end it all....cause in this life time, I didnt even feel minutely small...I felt worse than an invisible being who didnt deserve to be heard nor seen.

How could some one love & treat one like a queen..like she was an Angel who flew from above and rested her heart only for his love...then in a flick of a switch..she was treated worse than a piece of dirt...and words were said that cut through her heart & soul with such deep hurt.
How could this be. Did the Lord turn away from me...since I was not the Child he wanted me to be ?
But was this a test to see if that even through my lowest point and would such a heavy burdon of pain...I would still have Faith and now that His Child I shall always remain.

The wounds are still so deep, I spend nights literally with no sleep....the tears like a waterfall flow with no control...the thoughts come and go like it's preset in a movie role.....will I ever be able to just let go...when,and how will I be able to do so.
Thank you my new friends on here for all your words so kind... u all make me feel like I am not gonna leave all this I have behind...I heard once that Happiness is a birth right...well bring it on....I aint ready to lose this fight.
To all who suffer the same heartache and pain that haunts our very being so...keep the Faith cos our good man upstairs will enable us to live a glorious life once more.
Thank you all my online buddies !