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Topic: Nice guys finish last
NicholeSD83's photo
Fri 01/04/08 07:03 PM
***The Disclaimer*** I may sound like I'm whining...I'm not, just thinking...would love some other opinions though...thanks!

Ok, so we all have heard that saying thousands of times...what about nice girls though? It would seem to me that we finish last too. Almost every guy I talk to says "I'm just looking for a nice, sweet girl to spend time with" (or something of that nature) If that's the case, why have I been single for 3 1/2 years? Could it be that guys want a nice girl as a wife, but wants a "naughty" girl right now? If that's the case, then what I'm sensing is that I'm not worth waiting for...and if I'm not worth waiting for, then why should I even bother looking?

Oh, but I AM worth waiting for...I know that...and the Mr. Right will know that...and don't get me wrong, Mr. Right, you are totally worth waiting for too...I just feel sometimes, like I've waited long enough, something needs to happen soon...maybe this whole dating thing is a big test of my patients...I don't know.

no photo
Fri 01/04/08 07:05 PM
i want a naughty girl all the time.........

SightSeer's photo
Fri 01/04/08 07:07 PM
And I agree 100% with 57% of what you said.

mrosebro's photo
Fri 01/04/08 07:07 PM
i'm going to put this bluntly okay! piece of S*** people are attracted to other piece of S*** people... so if you havn't found anyone, it's probly because you haven't met anyone yet who deserves you...

What's my excuse? i've been in relationships yes, but some looking back i'd prefer to have NEVER been a part of... and looking back, tho i WANT to meet my ms right, i'm happier now, then i EVER WAS in one of those bad relationships.

My suggestion is make time to spend with friends, go out, have fun, enjoy life to it's fullest, and you'll more likely then meet a decent guy on accident.... that's how i met all of my g/f's... of course none of them worked out, but i don't entirely regret them all... a couple just weren't meant to work out.

willy_cents's photo
Fri 01/04/08 07:10 PM
I think that most men want a multiple personality woman. They want them nice, but not too nice. They want a lady when they are "out," a kind and loving one during the day, a "*****" when someone picks on them, and a "whore" in the bedroom. And, they want the woman to know when to be what and when not to be what, without any hints or advice. sounds a lot like what a woman wants in a man, doesn't it?laugh laugh laugh

Hadeeya's photo
Fri 01/04/08 07:11 PM

***The Disclaimer*** I may sound like I'm whining...I'm not, just thinking...would love some other opinions though...thanks!

Ok, so we all have heard that saying thousands of times...what about nice girls though? It would seem to me that we finish last too. Almost every guy I talk to says "I'm just looking for a nice, sweet girl to spend time with" (or something of that nature) If that's the case, why have I been single for 3 1/2 years? Could it be that guys want a nice girl as a wife, but wants a "naughty" girl right now? If that's the case, then what I'm sensing is that I'm not worth waiting for...and if I'm not worth waiting for, then why should I even bother looking?

Oh, but I AM worth waiting for...I know that...and the Mr. Right will know that...and don't get me wrong, Mr. Right, you are totally worth waiting for too...I just feel sometimes, like I've waited long enough, something needs to happen soon...maybe this whole dating thing is a big test of my patients...I don't know.


I hear you, and I also sympathize with you dilemma!! I've heard this before from my friends and myself. Unfortunately I'm no expert and have no clue why it seems to be this way with men? sad I feel it takes going thru 100's of men before finding that one special one. I've got a long way to go to hit that 100 mark laugh Good luck with your search for that special guy!! flowerforyou flowerforyou flowerforyou

lonelyshorty's photo
Fri 01/04/08 07:14 PM


***The Disclaimer*** I may sound like I'm whining...I'm not, just thinking...would love some other opinions though...thanks!

Ok, so we all have heard that saying thousands of times...what about nice girls though? It would seem to me that we finish last too. Almost every guy I talk to says "I'm just looking for a nice, sweet girl to spend time with" (or something of that nature) If that's the case, why have I been single for 3 1/2 years? Could it be that guys want a nice girl as a wife, but wants a "naughty" girl right now? If that's the case, then what I'm sensing is that I'm not worth waiting for...and if I'm not worth waiting for, then why should I even bother looking?

Oh, but I AM worth waiting for...I know that...and the Mr. Right will know that...and don't get me wrong, Mr. Right, you are totally worth waiting for too...I just feel sometimes, like I've waited long enough, something needs to happen soon...maybe this whole dating thing is a big test of my patients...I don't know.


I hear you, and I also sympathize with you dilemma!! I've heard this before from my friends and myself. Unfortunately I'm no expert and have no clue why it seems to be this way with men? sad I feel it takes going thru 100's of men before finding that one special one. I've got a long way to go to hit that 100 mark laugh Good luck with your search for that special guy!! flowerforyou flowerforyou flowerforyou


Same here, I have probably a lot longer way to go till I get to 100. sad

armonthegreat13's photo
Fri 01/04/08 07:16 PM
idk. some guys really do want a nice girl..i mean the girl cant really be shy. usually when a guy says he wants a nice girl, he doesnt want to make a move. he wants the girl to show lots of interest and do lots of things..but not be naughty and getting into trouble..

itsmetina's photo
Fri 01/04/08 08:16 PM
if hes a nice guy he should finish lastlaugh laugh laugh

no photo
Fri 01/04/08 08:18 PM


Patience is a virtue... Don't give up...


Robm248's photo
Fri 01/04/08 08:19 PM
You could say that many people want a nice guy or girl. You could also say that a lot of those people want a naughty one in the mean time. Now, that's not everyone by any means. It's kind of hard to find someone who is nice if you are nice (Probably you don't go looking for a date at the local bar, and let's face it the random encounter thing isn't all that likely either).
Hey, I guess that's what sites like this are for!laugh

newwaters's photo
Fri 01/04/08 08:31 PM
My take is that men 30 and up want/need to taste the milk before buying the cow. I'm assuming, of course, that we are talking about a euphemism for waiting to have sex.

Women who are on their second, or more, start that are born again virgins suggests some sort of defect. I'm not saying it is right, or wrong, I'm just pointing out what I've seen.

Now, if you really mean nice as in 'nice' then hell yea men want nice girls in the beginning, but there better be a confident woman under there, too.

If your 8th date goes go like this, then you are not nice, you are meek to a fault. Woman up if this applies.

Him: What would like to do tonight?
Her: Whatever you want. I really enjoyed that evening at __ four dates ago.
Him: Well, let's do something you like, I'm running out of ideas.
Her: Maybe we can post a message to this board I'm on for ideas.

Just remember this is Internet message board advice and may very well be worth what you paid. :) Please, don't take it personal. I may be a bit acerbic, but I do mean well.

I hope you find Prince Charming-but-not-too-charming-because-thats-too-much-pressure.

wmyers4u's photo
Fri 01/04/08 08:32 PM
Edited by wmyers4u on Fri 01/04/08 08:32 PM
:cry: I hate being a nice guy sad It's all my moms fault, she raised me that waylaugh

gracekelley's photo
Fri 01/04/08 08:34 PM
I agree with you I'm sick of being so nice and it not getting me anywhere

klugman's photo
Fri 01/04/08 08:36 PM

I agree with you I'm sick of being so nice and it not getting me anywhere


Same...but I cant help it.flowerforyou

BrokennAngel's photo
Fri 01/04/08 08:43 PM
willy_cents u so hit that one on the head :wink:

"Tooshay"...Most of the time both men & ladies like that mulit persona characters...keeps it naughty but nice, dirty but clean, gentle but rough...you get the picture... LOL laugh

lonelyshorty's photo
Fri 01/04/08 08:44 PM

:cry: I hate being a nice guy sad It's all my moms fault, she raised me that waylaugh


its not your moms fault she just raised you right. You will meet that one woman who makes you fall head over heels for.

chuck366's photo
Fri 01/04/08 08:45 PM
blushing

ephraimglass's photo
Fri 01/04/08 09:08 PM
Edited by ephraimglass on Fri 01/04/08 09:10 PM
I also get the vibe that "nice" refers to a woman who has chosen not to have sex -- or at least one who is very selective about with whom she'll have sex.

I sympathize with you when you say that "I just feel sometimes, like I've waited long enough, something needs to happen soon." I went though a similar dilemma very recently and posted about it here. (Link: http://www.justsayhi.com/topic/show/53112) I've reaffirmed my commitment, though, to waiting for the right woman.

As far as why you've been single for 3.5 years, I really couldn't say. I've been in a few relationships in my life, but except for one woman, who I met on eHarmony, I couldn't really tell you HOW I got into any of them. Have you been on any dates in that time? Were the men you met just not compatible with you? I've recently adopted the principle that every relationship begins with a single date and I've been posting ads at Craigslist that really just as simple as "I want a date on Saturday." I'd need more information about your circumstances, though because otherwise, all I can offer is speculation.

One possibility about which I would speculate is that if you HAVE had dates but the men you've gone out with haven't been compatible with you, then perhaps you need to review what you've been looking for in the men you're dating. Maybe you're looking for one thing that you like that's closely tied to another thing that you don't like. (The typical example of this is the confidence/A-hole coupling.)

Musicmaker08's photo
Fri 01/04/08 09:13 PM
Looking back on my past relationships in life, I’ve come to realize a few things that seem to be certain:

1. You attract what you project. You may not know it but attitude, personality and body language have a huge impact on whom you attract and who you repel. You may be inadvertently repelling the types of people you think you’re attracted to by projecting the wrong flavors of energy (i.e. opposite of math, misery loves company) negativity attracts negativity. Positive people usefully migrate towards other positive people.
2. First impressions. The world really is a shallow, stereotypical and biased place (I know, not everyone is like that). No matter how much you think people don’t prejudge you before they get a chance to ‘get to know you’ is such bull s***. You are always being judged by people whether you like it or not. I’ve been proven wrong time and time again that some areas (like Minnesota) have too many of these issues. It’s all very sad and stupid, but it’s reality. If you wear a suit and tie, people assume your educated and your opinions matter. If you dress like a bum people will assume that you are irresponsible, probably 420 friendly and don’t have a job and live with mom. Need I say more?
3. Dating is a numbers game. When you’re at the farmers market do you just grab the first price of fruit you see or do you shuffle through the pile of fruit until you find the one that you’re pleased with? Did you find any that you like or did you settle because you were hungry? Don’t forget that there are a little over 300 MILLION people in the USA alone and 6.5 BILLION people on planet Earth. There is someone for everyone. It’s just a matter of running the numbers to find what you’re looking for. And if most people weren’t so superficial, there would be less single people in the world.

I believe in quality over quantity. You only live once (that we know of anyway) so don’t settle for people just to get by (plus it’s not fair to the other person unless this feeling is mutual). Burn the image in your mind of the type of person that you wish to find and stick to it. When the mind is focused you’ll be surprised what you can accomplish. It may take a few months or it may take a life time (or never for some people) to find that special someone but never give up because that person is out there. Always keep your eyes and ears open because you never know when it will happen. Don’t forget to get out there – people will not just come knocking on your door. People need to know that you exist. Forget the bars. Go do things (skiing, bowling, walking, window shopping, traveling, volunteering, charities, etc…) or what ever it is that gets you out there. And use every resource available to you. We live in a time that you can communicate with the rest of the world in real time for pretty cheap!

Good luck to you.

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