One day in the forest, 3 guys were just hiking along a trail when all of a sudden, a huge pack of indians attaked them and knocked them out.

When they woke up, they were at the leader of the tribe's throne.

The chief then said "All of your lives may be spared if you can find ten of one fruit and bring them back to me."

So after a while the first man returned with 10 apples. The cheif then ordered him to stick all ten of them up his butt without making any expression at all on his face. He had a little bit of trouble with the first one and started crying while trying to put the next one in. He was soon killed.

Later, the next guy came in with 10 grapes. The cheif soon ordered him to do the same as the first guy. After to the 9th grape, the man started laughing so hard for no apperant reason, and was killed.

The first two guys soon met in heaven and the first guy ask the second, "Why did you start laughing? You only needed one more grape and you'd have gotten away!"

The second guy answered while still laughing, "I couldn't help it. I saw the third guy walking in with pineapples."

A Scotsman is sitting on a train across from a busty blonde wearing a tiny mini skirt.

Despite his efforts, he is unable to stop staring at the top of her thighs.

To his delight, he realises she has gone without underwear.

The blonde realises he is staring and inquires, "Are you looking at my growler?" "Yes, I'm sorry, " says the Scotsman and promises to avert his eyes.

"It's quite alright," replies the woman, "It's very talented, watch this, I'll make it blow a kiss to you."

Sure enough the growler blows him a kiss.

Wee Hughie, who is completely absorbed, inquires what else the growler can do.

"I can also make it wink, " says the woman.

The Scotsman stares in amazement as the growler winks at him.

"Come and sit next to me," suggests the woman, patting the seat.

The Scotsman moves over and is asked, "Would you like to stick a couple of fingers in?"

Stunned, The Scotsman replies, "Good grief! Can it whistle, too?"

This guy goes to a super market and goes to isle 12 and asks for a box of condoms.

The lady askes "what size" and the guy says "I don't know" so the lady askes him to pull down his pants.

The lady tugs a few times and says "you need a box of x-large condoms".

So this guy hears behind him and he asks for a box of condom's, and the lady says "what size" and the guy says I don't know.

So the lady asks him to pull down his pants.

The lady tugs a few time and says "get a box of medium condoms"

So this teenager in isle 11 hears and wants some of the action.

So he goes to isle 12 and asks "can I have a box of condoms"

The lady asks "what size" and the teenage says "I don't know"

So the lady asks him to pull down his pants .

When he does, the lady tugs a few times, stands up and announces "Clean up in isle 12"

lmao!

sleeping

I know how ya feel... Was in that situation seven months ago. Hopefully not for another looooong time...

That's a new one.... What kinda voice is a celtic voice? Like loreena mckennit or something???

lol git r doneeeeeeeee

roflmao

I really like when ladies whear nice dresses but, wouldn't mind shorts or even a wet bathing suit every now and then (fetish wet suits, dunno why.. makes me go wild I guess)

Siwwy you!!!!

legal charges???!!!

ehhh i keep looking to see how many thousands of interests i have. its fun...

try to be most of the time.. No reason to lie abouit my life lol.

its true though, thats how I would be

#1 till i get to #2 then hopefully be set with #2 for a long time to share my story with you guys which may be the new #3 or your #3 if all else fails

Confusing, isn't I? Hee Hee Hee!

wait and hopefully see and control the attitude

lol, thats funny, Just go with the flow sweetie and see what happens. I thought I had problems, I have 5 great matches myself but, all 5 matches are great after days of conversation with them but, don't kmnow which one to choose lol

Words hre are enough for now but, they should make a rating thing though, it would give us bored people something more to do on here lol.

lol